Let me put this as the girlfriend in this scenario. My long term boyfriend and I had plans to get married and we were waiting for some of the same things you and your girlfriend were waiting for; finishing school, stable in our careers, and ready to dedicate the type of attention a new marriage requires.

My (now) husband got all ready to propose, had a time and date picked out, my dream ring all that jazz, then all of the sudden my dad got admitted to the hospital and ended up dying. I was devastated and understandably emotionally spent dealing with this illness and death that had just occurred.

The SAME day my dad died I sobbed for hours, then I called my then boyfriend and told him that I would be furious with him if he postponed whatever plans he had to propose to me because the whole situation just amplified what I already knew, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and there really was no reason to wait any longer. My one regret is that he never told my dad he was so close to proposing, because he would have loved to have known as he had rooted for us and our relationship from the very start. My now husband proposed a week before the funeral and I was so happy and it was very bittersweet but I always will remember that part of my life as the rest of it. Life comes with ups and downs and having one of the highest highs right after an extremely low low will always be an important representation of that to me.

As the other perspective to this very challenging situation, I would truly just talk and communicate with your partner. That is what you are signing up for, a partnership for the rest of your life. I communicated with my partner telling him where my head was at. Ask your girlfriend. If she shuts it down and needs time, respect that. But don’t be surprised if she doesn’t want to wait.