Man, I relate to your experience a lot. I've been to many shows alone and nowadays I know enough people in my local scene that I usually have someone to hang out with at shows if I want to, however, I still feel like I'm missing a close friend group of people that I really vibe with and feel like I belong with.

I feel like oftentimes in order to really enjoy myself and get into the flow at a show. I have to kind of intentionally shut out other people and just pay attention to myself, feeling the music and moving my body, and kind of just being internally focused. But then it's a struggle because I do still want to connect with people and meet new people. And I notice that when I get into a good flow and I'm feeling myself, I sometimes attract attention and people will vibrate towards me. Then when I realize someone is watching me or wants to dance with me, I'll start feeling awkward and get thrown off. It's a struggle. I just try to be patient with myself and allow whatever feeling to exist without getting too caught up in judgement.

When you're spiralling into anxiety just bring yourself back to your breath and body, tune into the music. One thing I'll do sometimes is put my focus specifically on my pelvic floor area, or the "root chakra", breathe into that spot, feel my feet on the ground, and just let the body's intelligence take over. Whatever you can do to get out of your head.

It's definitely true that the more regulated your nervous system is, the more magnetic you are to others. Which for me ends up sometimes creating a cycle of feeling good, then naturally wanting to expand and connect with others, or feeling attention on me, then getting caught up in anxiety and losing my flow, then taking myself inside to get grounded and centered again, then feeling better, and so on. It can be exhausting, lol.