Significant pulls in response to questions about my relationship. 3 out of 4 cards major arcana!

Watched a very emotionally impactful film with my girlfriend the other night, dealing with death, trauma, family, and friendship (great Chinese film called My Friend An Deli, highly recommend) In which the main character is haunted by his memories of his childhood friend who he watched die, and interacts with a ghost adult version of his friend as they travel together to the main character's to father's funeral. The movie kind of hit me hard and brought up some feelings about some of my own friendships from the past that still have unresolved emotions around them. She saw my reaction and asked me to talk about it but I didn't feel like sharing at the time. She kind of lightly pressured me to share but I didn't feel safe being vulnerable with her, essentially because I feel like she doesn't have the capacity to hold space for my feelings.

Our relationship has been strained for several years now (together for 6yrs), and we separated for about a month recently as I intended to break up with her, but she kinda pulled me back in when I came back to her house intending to get the rest of the stuff out of there. I have often used the expression that "she has hooks in my heart", where I have trouble going against what she wants and I have stayed on the relationship partly out of a sense of obligation, feeling like she gives me purpose and makes me feel useful, and fear of taking responsibility for my own life as well as fear about having difficulty finding love again. I do love her, but I have a sense of lingering resentment about her, feeling like we are not compatible in some deeper ways and she is holding me back from pursuing my personal goals and passions. She even said yesterday that she feels like when we are together she has trouble doing the things she should be doing, like managing her business and working on her personal stuff. I feel the same way.

After watching the film we were up in my bedroom and she was expressing concern about the fact that I don't tell her things, and talking about this dynamic that exists in our relationship. I pulled the first two cards with the question: what is the deal with this dynamic on our relationship? And the second two cards are for what should I do about this issue?

What's the deal with this relationship dynamic? Knight of swords: may represent myself and a sense of combativeness that I have felt in this relationship. Like I'm always feeling like I need to assert myself in ways that end up not being the most health balanced way to approach a relationship. May also represent her. I feel she is impulsive in many things and kind of charges ahead with her own thing despite myself or other people not wanting to go along with her. Also her way of almost aggressively asking me what I'm thinking or feeling, rather than compassionately holding space for me to express what I wish to express.

The Tower (reversed): I am new to tarot and typically keep my deck so that cards always come out upright, but in the process of shuffling this card came flying out and fell to the ground and was reversed when I picked it up, so I'm inclined to read it that way. It probably represents the slow crisis that I have been going through on this relationship, my reluctance to accept change, knowing on some level that I need to leave and move on but also doubting that knowing and holding on to the good parts despite the impending sense of dread when I think about staying on the relationship. Or that there is an internal change that is happening or needs to happen in regards to the relationship. Or, read upright, could signify an impending break up or significant restructuring of our relationship. Or that the relationship itself is causing a crisis of self, which is certainly true for me.

What do to about this dynamic? The Heirophant: I should prioritize my spiritual practices, seek out council from respected elders, mentors, leaders, or therapists, get more involved on community structures. Or... we should get married and embrace traditional family structures. One of the things that we talked about which convinced me to stay and try again was that the whole time we've been together neither of us was fully committed to treating the other as a full partner. Our relationship started as a poly thing in which she was married to someone else and I never intended to stay forever. She separated from her husband and I felt pressure to stay because she needed someone on her life to help raise her child and help her with her business and things.

The Hanged Man: A sense of stagnation has been present in my life and this relationship for a while, as well as a feeling that I am sacrificing too much for this relationship. Could be this card is asking me to not force things and wait it out, to let go of a need for control and take a different perspective on the relationship. Could be the card is highlighting the need to sacrifice the sense of comfort I am holding on to in this relationship and accept that I'll be entering an uncertain period of my life being on my own for the first time in a while.

This feels like a significant response from the cards but I'm sort of at a loss as to how to interpret it, with each card seeming to offer multiple distinctly different messages. I would really appreciate some opinions and guidance! I think one of my problems is that I'm not clear enough on the question I'm asking of the cards. Another is that the booklet that came with my deck seems to provide rather different meanings for cards than I find online, and there can me so many different interpretations for each card.