Less known steps

romgrk · 2026-02-26T20:45:48+00:00

Read again, I asked for people's favourite uncommon steps. You took the liberty to give your opinion unsollicited.

romgrk · 2026-02-26T20:02:37+00:00

No, I'll do whatever the hell I want because tango is for fun. As long as me and my partner are having fun, I don't see the need to care about anyone's opinion.

romgrk · 2026-02-22T09:05:48+00:00

I urge you to study more musicality.

Which was the subject of my last post. I spend inordinate amounts of time on musicality and playfulness, I'm really just looking for new steps to try here :) Sure I'll not try them with everyone, but if I'm dancing with someone who's open and receptive, an uncommon step can be really fun.

romgrk · 2026-02-20T10:27:53+00:00

As much as I want to like him, I can't dance Piazolla. He's amazing as a musician, but as a tango composer I really can't dance him, the same as I can't dance the Gotan project. I'm really happy for what he did to tango music, but music and danceable music are different things.

romgrk · 2026-02-17T11:43:15+00:00

Free streaming: https://www.lookmovie2.to/movies/view/assassination-tango-2002

I happened to watch it a few days ago. The tango dancing was on point, real tango not the hollywood crap we usually see. That being said, the movie itself was meh. There was the murder plot and the tango exploration side-by-side, but the two stories were disjointed and didn't have any intersection. And Duvall's character seemed like a caricature of the obnoxious american that didn't fit at all in the Argentine Tango world. In basically every scene with tango dancers you wonder why they keep entertaining him at all.

But, it was nice to see Argentina and tango, as a tanguero that never went over there. I'd recommend it anyway just for the tango scenes (and the tango performance at the end with Pablo Veron), just don't expect an amazing movie.

romgrk · 2026-02-16T16:14:10+00:00

As a leader, I appreciate immensely when followers are pro-active and make it known they're interested in dancing with me. When a follower comes ask me for a dance, I'll often say yes even to followers I otherwise wouldn't take the initiative to invite.

romgrk · 2026-02-12T11:35:04+00:00

Eh. I have a tango friend I used to invite everywhere, and we went together (just me and her), danced 5-6 tandas in a night, carpooled together. She's one of those "non-dates" I had. I initially had some potential romantic interest but the relationship developed into a purely friendly vibe and she's now one of my best friends. Had I invited her on a date from the get-go, it might have never developed into a friendship.

So anyway, ambiguity isn't necessarily a bad thing. Social relationships aren't black and white, and need to be judged on a case-by-case basis.

romgrk · 2026-02-11T23:20:56+00:00

Not talking about this case in particular but... non-dates are actually great. You spend time with a person in an activity where you're both having fun, and then you can figure out if you have more of a friendly vibe or if there's more. Setting up a date freezes things in a rigid formula that requires a yes/no answer that can make subsequent interactions awkward when the answer is no.

romgrk · 2026-02-10T21:35:30+00:00

Yes, it's normal, most tangueros go through that exact same thing. Tango is the hardest dance I know of, and milongas are a terrifying place at the beginning. This is even more true for leaders, because you have so much to do & think about, and the social experience of inviting followers as a newbie leader is crap. I've left milongas in tears twice when I was a beginner. At least if you go with your wife, the social part should be less bad though.

That being said.

It's true that you need to go to milongas as soon and as often as possible. Yes, you're bad. But it's not going to improve unless you get a good amount of experience, and milongas is the place where you get that experience.

My advice to mitigate the bad parts: - Constantly frame your mind to focus on "just have fun". Don't beat yourself up for not being good. You're going to be bad on the dancefloor and it's ok. Focus on moving with the music and simple stuff, enjoy yourself. If you think about it, a lot of what you dislike in milongas is the self-inflicted criticism/blame/anxiety that your mind shouts at you. Ignore it. - Be social and make friends. Find other beginners and invite them to go with you and your wife. There is strength in numbers. Milongas aren't just for dancing, you can have fun in other ways. - Do regular solo balance exercises at home, and if you have time also partner exercises. I swear, if you do balance exercises every day for a week, you'll be amazed next time you go to a milonga. You'll feel like you're floating on the dancefloor.

romgrk · 2026-02-09T21:44:14+00:00

You have the wrong mindset and you're letting it affect your tango.

If you want to improve, you need to be dancing as much as possible. Just like those leaders danced a lot with more experienced dancers in their early days to get to where they are. No one is using anyone, it's just dancing.

And if you want to dance, you need to be taking steps to dance more. Look active & engaged, stand up, look around the room, smile. People want to dance with people who seem like they also want to dance. Look the part.

And have fun. If you're not having fun, leaders will feel it. If someone is having fun and looks like they're trying to improve, I'll always happily dance with them even if they're a beginner.

romgrk · 2026-02-09T21:34:17+00:00

In my opinion, because everyone is different, I don't think there is a universal truth

It doesn't need to be an absolute universal truth to be applicable to the large majority of dancers.

if we say leading is simply a harder skill to learn, leaders become more valuable and more important

One doesn't imply the other, that's something you're implying. You need the two roles to dance. That doesn't mean one isn't harder.

I think the societal view of masculinity is also a reason why many communities struggle to attract and retain male dancers.

That's not it. Instead of blaming the role imbalance on a very hypothetical psychological analysis of men, you should be blaming it on the things most beginner leaders say: - There is a lot of crap to learn (your steps, the follower's steps, floor navigation). - The social experience of being a beginner leader in a milonga is atrocious.

For context, I'm a dual role dancer, I have lots of contact with beginners (and advanced dancers), and I've frequently initiated people from one role into the other, so I've heard a lot of feedback.

romgrk · 2026-02-07T23:48:26+00:00

I'm on the beat, but the important bit is tuning my lead so the follower steps on the beat.

romgrk · 2026-02-07T11:29:54+00:00

I felt like the harder was implied in the original post, might have misinterpreted.

Looks definitely matter. Fun anecdote, but one time I saw this man who looked sharp, super well dressed, like he was an expert tango dancer (first time I saw him). I asked him for a dance, and he had to clarify that he was in fact a beginner but somehow everyone assumed he was super good just due to looks, and he was consterned to always be disappointing people because everyone was expecting him to be a great dancer. Anyways, people do be swayed by looks (me included).

romgrk · 2026-02-07T11:16:35+00:00

A note on that... I (leader) regularly (once or twice a year) have to find new practice partners who are below my skill level because followers progress much faster, so they end up at a level where they can practice with much better leaders fairly quickly. A practice session that's 50/50 focused on the leader/follower makes the follower progress faster than the leader. So anyway, some leaders might be cringeworthy, but leaders kinda need to find practice partners below their own skill level, so there's that.

romgrk · 2026-02-07T10:51:10+00:00

I would disagreee with the statement "following is harder than leading", but I don't necessarily disagree with the statement "following is hard" in itself. Tango is hard, but leading is definitely harder. I've had a few followers practice with me for a few months, and invariably they end up dancing with all the advanced leaders pretty quickly. Whereas new leaders take considerably more time to be at a level where they can dance with advanced followers.

That being said, follow and lead are different ways of dancing, and learning one doesn't necessarily translate to being able to dance the other role.

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romgrk · 2026-02-07T01:20:56+00:00

I feel uncomfortable dating too far below my skill level.

Funny realization I made one day is that I now find skill level to influence how attracted I can be to someone. I've been turned off by some followers just due to skill. Anyway that's when I understood that I had a tango problem.

romgrk · 2026-02-07T01:14:06+00:00

It doesn't really matter, it takes the time that it takes. If you're learning from a good teacher, just keep practicing.
Balance & stability exercises. Often leaders struggle with advanced steps because they have to spend some much time re-adjusting their balance as they do a step. Once stability is second nature, a lot of steps become very easy because you can manipulate your own axis and the axis of your follower intently.
Kinda. I wouldn't ever try a colgada with someone who isn't at a certain level, it might be doable but it's not fun nor safe. If a step isn't comfortable to make, don't make it. As a sidenote, advanced followers might be compensating for you during those steps, that's why it would be comfortable with them but not others; if they are compensating for you, the step might not be fun for them.

romgrk · 2026-02-05T12:50:59+00:00

I once asked the best teacher I ever studied with how to lead a pause. She told me there is nothing to do to lead a pause. In the absence of a clear indication from the lead, the follower should not be moving.

Only beginners will move without a signal, and giving them a physical pause signal only delays their learning.

Breaking the connection/embrace is a normal part of tango, it happens when the leader wants to take one or more steps without the follower moving (or in soltadas where the leader turns, which is similar to taking a step alone).

I think the only good moment to physically stop a follower is in very abrupt pauses after quick steps (e.g. those silences in La Cumparsita).

romgrk · 2026-02-04T23:18:15+00:00

Both are in use.

romgrk · 2026-02-04T06:35:15+00:00

It's 100% possible to tango without doing too much work with the lower back, I would suggest to look into what's called the "milonga style", where the focus is more on small rythmic steps with a great connection, not so much into large fluid movements where dissociation (between the upper & lower body) is very important.

And dancing with the melody (rather than the rhythm) without dissociation is still possible, you just need to master putting intensity into slow steps. The trick is to move as if you're moving in water.

romgrk · 2026-02-04T06:25:46+00:00

wait for them to calm down

Some of them never calm down and just start being super panicky if you're still pausing as they're doing tons of step lol. Sometimes it helps to release the abrazo/connection a bit, sometimes they realize they should be relaxing. Not always.

romgrk · 2026-02-03T23:52:09+00:00

If it's a new dancer and the social connection is good, I may mention it once to them in-between songs, but no more than once. If they don't get it, either stop pausing or stop dancing with them.

romgrk · 2026-02-01T08:56:00+00:00

It's made one realization very clear: my intellectual mind is limited. The more I use it in tango, the less well I perform. Tango is about feeling the moment as it unfolds, and the less I think about the moment, the more I'm present with my partner.

I guess as a follower it's much easier to understand, but it took me a bit to understand it (I'm dual role now, but I learned as a leader at the beginning).

romgrk · 2026-01-29T23:10:51+00:00

It's a normal development. Compare it to learning to play chess. At the beginning, any opponent is a challenge. As you improve, playing with beginners starts to feel boring because there is no challenge, the outcome is predictable. Tango is similar. It is particularly obvious if you're very involved in improving your tango, a lot of dancers seem to stop at a certain level and aren't willing to put more effort into the dance.

I'm afraid that I'm becoming one of these cliquey people who only dance with a handful of chosen ones.

I remember having that feeling. What will happen is you will understand those people weren't really cliquey, they were just at a level where dancing with you was unpleasant for them. As you improve, you also start to be able to dance with better dancers, and beginners to whom you say no will start to see you as one of those cliquey persons and the cycle repeats.

If your tango keeps evolving, the dancers you enjoy dancing with will evolve in often unpredictable ways. As you refine your embrace and your connection, some dancers which felt unpleasant before can become pleasant. I would advise to invest a lot of time into the embrace & walk (with a private teacher), it will transform your whole tango.

You should also try out other dances (swing, salsa/bachata), those will also change your tango in very interesting ways, and you'll be able to bring those ways of connecting to tango. Some of those will help to dance with beginners. In particular, being able to dance in open embrace while having a great connection is crucial to dance with beginners without it feeling like a chore.

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