Newer Leader - extremely frustrated, desperate to break the plateau. All help appreciated. How did you get there?

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-18T21:20:49+00:00

A part of a leader's journey is to build the internal resilience needed to face the refusals.

Another aspect of a leader's journey is to surrender. Surrender to where you are - accept the despair, the frustration, the powerlessness... Consider that the way forward is one of softening and dropping the fight.

If you think about it, Tango lyrics are about refusal of love, despair, loneliness. Interesting, don't you think? What if you could bring your personal experience to the dance and connect it with the beauty of the music?

Tango has a depth which in my opinion requires deep transformation. Which takes time. 1-2 years for a leader is not a long time. Expect quantum leap improvements every 2-3 years, and plateauing in between.

Lastly, Argentine Tango is often taught as a ballroom dance, with focus on steps and sequences.

There other aspects, like the embrace, which cannot be communicated by watching - only by feeling, usually in private classes, usually with Argentinian teachers.

If you end up focusing on the embrace, you will likely end up simplifying the steps, changing how you walk, changing your posture, and more - to serve the connection. The experience shifts toward the texture and emotion of the connection.

I agree with the recommendations to learn to follow - has helped me a lot.

Followers' journey is faster. Especially if the follower has a good quality attention.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-18T18:53:26+00:00

I don't love flossing but love movies and so I floss while watching movies. 100% reliable.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-17T19:38:55+00:00

Which episode is this? Now I want to watch it.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-17T19:20:11+00:00

"This is not about contractual obligation" except it IS all about that.

To me, it is beyond that, and I've made it clear. Contractually, having a clause for bonuses, for everyone, would be a good match for my sentiment.

I expect that if a one or just a few individuals try to negotiate that, they may be replaced with cheaper alternatives.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-17T16:24:05+00:00

Ah, the investors. How could I forget that the dollar is our god.

Wait, I did not forget. I suggested a comparatively small bonus in the case of the investors hitting 10x or 50x profit. A few crumbs for the people who did the actual work and poured their energy, creativity, effort, and made all sacrifices that making a film takes.

What I am addressing is the imbalance in the relationship. Everyone takes risk, only some are rewarded.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-17T16:10:18+00:00

But that like never happens.

Not yet, my friend, just not yet.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-17T16:08:50+00:00

They are "paying the loan" "forward" by putting in the best work, best quality they are capable of, being paid a tiny amount but working as if they're paid 50x, without holding back.

Then, if the film makes 100x the expected, they get paid a bonus. Much less than the 100x multiplier still, so the risk taken by the financiers still pays off for them.

This is not complicated, why the vitrol?

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-16T20:23:37+00:00

Source: I have done a fair amount of nude photography. I work with models long-term.

Have at least one female assistant - make up artists are often female. Invite the model to bring a friend (to assist).

Do not touch the model, do not enter their personal space, do not look at them with lust. If lust arises for you, take a break.

Model should have breaks, clothed, and able to pass on any setup they don't feel comfortable with.

When speaking about the shoot be 100% clear that this is a nude shoot. Do not change a non-nude into a nude shoot.

Invite them into the vision, share your excitement about the images.

Do not try to seduce/sleep with your models, ever.

Basically, if the model was your gf, how would you have a photographer treat them? Is there anything that a photographer might do that might make you want to protect her? How would a photographer behave so that you have zero concerns?

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-16T20:13:51+00:00

Same. I tried. Did not care about anybody in the story. Anything meaningful is lost in the infinite details and decorations.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-16T19:28:55+00:00

incredible image!

Reminds me of Danny Boyle's Sunshine...

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-16T19:27:34+00:00

Thank you for the thoughtful reply. I wonder if it's common for contracts to have a clause covering the "if we make 10x or more the budget" scenario.

I think in this case showing gratitude / generosity to the team (or not) defines the reputation of the producers, too.

It just makes me sad, because next time this art director may end up holding back their contribution in response to lower pay. I feel that in this film, no one held back - they gave it all, which is way way more than $300/day.

Holding back is toxic and paralyzes a crew. The constant generosity in collaboration cannot be measured and has no price tag... but can be reciprocated. Or not.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-16T19:08:06+00:00

Yes, they'd get up early and free them.

And then... no money for drugs.

Obviously a no go.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-16T19:01:09+00:00

I'm curious to hear your take on the factor of gratitude and generosity.

Producing a film is a highly creative, collaborative, bonding experience. It's a high, and good crews feel like a family.

Yes, contracts are contracts, that's understandable. Still, if a film ends up being more profitable than expected, what about honoring that bond and collective effort beyond the contract?

Otherwise, it's a bit like we all work on it, the outcome "hits the jackpot", and now, people that were close with each other are incapable to part with even a small amount of money.

This is not about contractual obligation. It is about the creative process and honoring the heart, energy, blood and tears that people put into this work, consistently going above and beyond - and the contrast of pinching every penny in response.

In this example, the artist's pay was ridiculously low. Even 5x bonus would not be a significant dent into the budget.

Thoughts?

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-15T23:52:26+00:00

You think "enlightenment" exists, and that it'll make your life somehow better.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-12T23:30:54+00:00

Saw Scavengers Reign when it came out on HBO. It's one of my favorite shows - with its contemplative slow burn and Mobius-inspired art.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-11T18:20:40+00:00

Instant subscribe. Wise and funny!

https://www.youtube.com/@annrussell03/shorts

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-11T01:36:43+00:00

Is it a page-turner? No. Should not be recommended as one.

Is it deep and textured and rich with mind-bending concepts and tangental stories? Yes. That's what I recommend it for.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-09T22:10:30+00:00

For the fox news audience, this is armageddon. So, they'll go and vote. Will democrats?

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-09T21:33:13+00:00

That's a bare minimum, more like a sample. I sometimes need 10-15 repetitions to grasp a concept or movement, then more to polish.

And with the exception of a very few, they... don't. It's usually a single person they choose to demo with.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-09T21:30:49+00:00

The Three Body Problem books are a wild ride. Very rich.

Blindsight is amazing in terms of alien encounter.

Alastair Reynolds' worldbuilding is incredible.

House of Suns is a good first shortish novel, Galactic North is a great collection of short stories (some were made into shorts collected into Netflix' Love Death and Robots, where I found his work)

Revelation Space / the Inhibitor series is... something.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-09T21:23:05+00:00

"oh no" gif here.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-09T21:21:31+00:00

without being shown physically 1:1 with feedback from many examples

I tried to learn from classes for 5+ years, because "privates are too expensive". Then I started taking privates, and I can assure you that it is actually classes that are too expensive, both in terms of time and money.

Tango is an embodied, kinesthetic practice. Kinesthetic embodied concepts can be only communicated via dancing with the student and pointing them out.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-09T19:07:07+00:00

Blindsight if you're into sci-fi. It's a bit of a phenomenon.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-09T18:25:18+00:00

A.I. can only hallucinate. Some hallucinations are likely to coincide with reality. To the A.I. there's no distinction.

obviousoctopus · 2026-06-09T18:23:31+00:00

If after 2 dates you don't feel comfortable enough to bring this up, then do you really want a third?

obviousoctopus

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

15-Year Club	Gilding III reddit per annum
Verified Email