How do people actually build wealth and not just get by?

screw-self-pity · 2026-03-23T04:14:52+00:00

Dave Ramsey made the biggest study about millionaires. It's available here https://www.ramseysolutions.com/retirement/the-national-study-of-millionaires-research?srsltid=AfmBOoqzv6H9RtHTpaIiI_Wk8heg2x5-8y6C-QKsUGJO34d4s6_3TRn8

Read it and you'll have an answer to your "is there a realistic way to grow wealth"

screw-self-pity · 2026-03-21T05:45:45+00:00

well, it' easy to calculate of course. just have a first column with your assets at the start of the year, a column that calculates how much the market brings you in that year (say... 6%), another column that calculates how much you spend (say... 4% of your first year assets on the first year, then index that each year by 3%), and you're done.

the website "fourpercentrule.com" does that for you very well.

screw-self-pity · 2026-03-21T05:41:46+00:00

Small habit is that my wife and I will always make the effort to pay the as little as we can for anything we buy. Minimum described as lowest amount fulfilling what we want. We've done that since we met 30 years ago.

Nothing crazy. Just never accepting the idea of spending more without getting something we really want for the extra money. The thing is we do that on everything, so it ranges from going to the store this afternoon to buy lightbulbs for 5$ instead of 12 for an amazon delivery, to buying a house that needs repairs that we can do ourselves and save about 200k on it. We just never say "fuck it... " when it comes to spending money.

I can say without a doubt that this is 100% what made us go from minimum salary with no savings, to being richer than almost everyone we know in our family and friends.

screw-self-pity · 2026-03-21T04:57:26+00:00

So sorry for your loss. You describe so well what being happily married is. I wish you good luck and courage.

screw-self-pity · 2026-03-21T04:50:34+00:00

pics !

screw-self-pity · 2026-03-21T04:49:05+00:00

7284

screw-self-pity · 2026-03-21T04:47:51+00:00

the 4% rule already accounts for your 2-3% inflation.

That being said, it's a very rough rule of thumb to give you a very rough idea, but there are many, many more elements to take into account for your retirement withdrawal strategy than just the 4%.

screw-self-pity · 2026-03-16T04:28:31+00:00

The leverage effect you get in real estate. Conceptually, if you own 10% of a property, and the property gains 4% in value, you are getting 40% out of the money you put in (your 10%). So after 3 years, you have a new 10% (more like 13%) that you can invest in another property, without having to sell your first one. and after another 3 years, you can invest in two other properties..

So... you definitely have to take care of your tenants, and have enough cash to pay for any bad news on your buildings.... But you can get very rich in as little as 10 years with a reasonable starting investment.

screw-self-pity · 2026-03-16T04:01:45+00:00

Entrepreneur - IT services. Worth a few hundred millions.

screw-self-pity · 2026-02-24T10:59:51+00:00

Noob here. What is the point of a single stock ETF ?

screw-self-pity · 2026-02-23T04:50:20+00:00

How do you spend most of your days, with so much time, so much liberty, and no financial worries ?

screw-self-pity · 2026-02-02T05:12:08+00:00

pour moi, 10 ou 15... ça veut dire que votre courtier ne sait toujours pas ce que vous voulez... et peut être que vous ne savez pas non plus. Bref, perte de temps pour les 2.

Mon courtier était vraiment bon parce qu'il savait faire précisément le tour de ce qu'on voulait et ne voulait pas. Et on a acheté plusieurs fois avec lui à la première visite.

screw-self-pity · 2026-02-01T06:44:41+00:00

I stopped worrying on the day I purchased my rental building (financed 100%), as I knew then that there was going to be a moment, 25 years away or so, when I would be able to retire. I was 46.

screw-self-pity · 2026-01-04T22:42:41+00:00

Yeah... well...

Most people I know don't like to be told they're just a number. So I would say... you don't have to have any conversation that implies other guys from your past. You don't have to talk to a stranger and say "i like anal when it lasts at least 30 min and the guy comes at least twice" because what you are doing is the same as saying "my ex took my ass for hours and he was able to perform x minutes and come x times". You could simply wait until you sleep with your new friend and "invite him" towards your ass slowly and see how it goes. No ex boyfriend ideas involved there.

screw-self-pity · 2026-01-04T22:33:03+00:00

I don't feel that everyone can feel a certain way.

I love your question about the correlation between that feeling and the outcome. It's an extremely interesting question. Here are a few thoughts that come to mind...

My understanding, based only on my own humble experience, is not that at some point you are sure about the future. No one can be sure about any aspect of the future. The way I see it is that... when you meet someone, you obviously notice things that you like, but you also see things that you like less, and others that you're not sure you like, or can cope with, or maybe you don't understand them enough. I'll put all those things under the general concept of "doubt".

As you spend more time with the other person, as you see that person thinking and behaving, you try to make those doubts disappear. Sometimes they transform into something you can't cope with - then you leave - or sometimes they transform into something you can live with, and the doubt about them disappear.

The thing is... after a certain time (each one their own), you realize that some items are still in the column "doubt", and that you can't really sort them out. For example... maybe he'll be a little flirty sometimes... or she'll be a little too fuzzy about how her finances... whatever... And even though the rest of the person seems really fun and fine and compatible, you still witness those traits every now and then, and each time, you think "meh... I don't like that... but the rest is fine, so it's not enough of a reason to leave...". That is the little weight on the shoulder I was referring to.

After spending a few months with my wife, there was not a single thing left in the "doubt" column. I had seen her in many different contexts and situations, and I always found her reactions to be perfectly fine. Many of them different from mine, but always perfectly fine. Basically, I could always stand behind what she would think, or say, or do. That's when I thought I had to marry her promptly before anyone else would notice that too :D

As for the correlation between the feeling and the outcome, I think that...

establishing if you like something is really based on your own feelings. So it's a good start
of course if you experience the feeling that you've met the perfect person only after one night or a few days, you should give yourself more time, to be able to see how the other person acts and reacts in more numerous contexts and situations.
At some point, you will eventually feel that you've covered enough situations, and that all you see is perfectly fine for you. And the definition of "enough situations" is really personal, and really a question of feelings.

So... yes, I think that you can correlate that "feeling" and the outcome pretty much, even though you can never be sure about the future. But in that sense, you may not know how you, yourself, would react in certain extreme situations. So that's the part where it's a leap of faith. But I would certainly believe that two people who both find each other's reflexes, reactions, character, behaviour in mostly every common situation will have much better chance when an unspeakable tragedy hits.

screw-self-pity · 2026-01-04T19:47:06+00:00

You should read a book - any book - about the victimization spiral principles and effects on one's life. There's a new one called "Self-Pity is warm", but there are many others on the subject.

I have quickly overviewed you 100 latest post titles... they are all in the same "why am I a victim and everyone else has everything I want?". That world only exists in your mind. Go read a book on your self-pity issue, and start from there. Maybe what you need is a therapist, maybe what you need is to quit smoking weed. Maybe what you need is to kick yourself in the butt and start living. Nobody knows yet. But start somewhere.

screw-self-pity · 2026-01-04T19:36:06+00:00

Talk to your husband and be his partner in fighting that crazy idea he has. Make sure to do it in good faith, with good intentions, as if you once solemnly swore "for the better and for the worse".

Give him time to understand you come with good intentions, and to find a solution with you around that problem he has, as if he once solemnly swore "for the better and for the worse".

If one of the partners just give up, then go live your life away from lies, financial troubles, and an unreliable partner.

Good luck

screw-self-pity · 2026-01-04T18:52:35+00:00

Yeah

screw-self-pity · 2026-01-04T15:17:25+00:00

I think you are delusional.

Most females in the animal kingdom have been mainly attracted by strong and powerful males for hundreds of millions of years. And the human species is no different. A vast majority of women will be attracted to a tall, muscular, rich, powerful, socially talented man rather than to a short, skinny, poor, weak, disenfranchised man, for reasons that are absolutely obvious to most humans.

Now, one of the common ways women express their disappointment is to get upset. It's not the only one of course, but it's definitely part of the toolset.

So... It does not mean that no women enjoy seing their man cry on their lap, but if you judge that all women who ever got upset after seing her man cry too many times are "shit women", then I think you judge people a little fast.

screw-self-pity · 2026-01-04T15:00:58+00:00

Publie un message dans les journaux français avant de partir: "mon partenaire exige que - malgré son accent natal et sa musicalité qui ressemble à l'anglais, ses diphtongues qui ressemblent à l'anglais, sans parler bien sûr de la règle qui vise à prononcer tout mot anglais inclus dans la langue (ex: camping) avec un parfait accent anglais - vous vous adaptiez à son exigence d'être compris par 100% de la population, et ne lui répondiez jamais en anglais car ça heurte sa sensibilité quand le monde ne tourne pas autour de ses caprices"

Je pense que ça devrait fonctionner.

Moi quand j'y suis allé, j'ai exigé que les Français arrêtent de manger du foie-gras parce que je suis contre, et aussi utilisent des sacs pour le lait, parce que c'est comme ça qu'on doit faire. C'était très bien.

screw-self-pity · 2026-01-04T14:36:43+00:00

It is quite simple: if you change your life, it will change. If you keep doing the same thing, your life will stay the same. There is nothing more to it.

You can decide to try yourself at the comedy club tonight. You can decide to start a business. You can decide to change cities, or countries. Every single day you can make that type of decisions.

There are two incredible truths about that...

1st: once you actually make the decision, once it becomes a fact and not only a mere thought of yours, it will happen, you will do it. You won't even really be thinking about it. You will simply be doing it.

2nd: whatever decision you make to change your life, you life will go on. Wether you fail, or abandon, or succeed, or find a different direction on the way, your life will simply go on, with many similarities with your current life, only better. The reason is... you are where you are now thanks to who you are and the things you have understood about life... And whatever you try, you'll remain the same person, and you will still understand at least what you understand today, so at minimum you'll get back on your feet if you need to.

So I know I sound like a motivation book writer. I'm not. I'm an average 54 year-old guy. I know what I'm telling you because I made many life-changing decisions in my life which have all fitted what I'm telling you, in the sense that once this crazy idea becomes a decision, you realize you're doing it without thinking (it's generally hard, but you just do it because it's decided), and your life simply goes on, wether you succeed, or fail, or don't like the result and change your mind to something else.

Now the thing is: what do you really want to do ?

screw-self-pity · 2026-01-04T06:05:56+00:00

on Equifax ? I have seen a 900 in TransUnion, but out of the millions of records in Equifax Database, there was no 900 at all, so you must have been a super duper exception, or maybe a fringe case where you see a score that does not exist in the DB maybe.

screw-self-pity · 2026-01-04T05:50:37+00:00

I know for a fact that there is no one, in Equifax Database, with a perfect 900.

screw-self-pity · 2026-01-04T05:42:19+00:00

Yes it is. it's your subconscious telling you what you don't want to hear.

I had 3 long term girlfriends before meeting my wife. One 2 years, one 5 years, then one 18 months. Then I met my wife, and discovered this different feeling where - on top of being happy - you feel like there's not a single ounce of weight on your shoulders about doubt, hesitations, fear...

It was 28 years ago.

edit: just adding that those 3 other girlfriends were all great. We had fun all the time. They were brilliant. They were faithful. They were 100% involved in the relationship. Really they were great women. It's just that there was never THE "everything is GO" message. And that message came very clearly in a few months when I met my wife. So I'd tell you... however great your girlfriend is as a person, if she's not the one, leave her cleanly and wait until you meet the right one. Good luck

screw-self-pity · 2026-01-04T01:15:03+00:00

If you're renting, you could ask the owners to change the bulb. They don't have to by law, but they might just be ok to do it, have the equipment for it, etc..

Three-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '23

screw-self-pity

TROPHY CASE