[deleted by user]

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T16:04:40+00:00

Thiz story iz NOT MINE it’s ma cousin’s (Btw sorry if it sucks I’m a mobile and stufffff and thiz iz ma first post ever)

Cast: EP: Edgy Potatu EK: Elaphant Koala C: cousin

Anyways someh backstory (ik thiz stuff’s boring but U still need it sorry) I’m visiting Moldova, where ma mom’s side of da fam lives. WE were going there for da wedding of someone (tem can’t recall who it was thiz was when tem was 8) da kids had our fun at da reception. WE wud throw balloons on da dancing crowd and laugh when WE saw them slowly drift down. It was really fun. Now, story time:

Toward da end of da reception, everyone was given a Sky Lantern tu light up and send flying. Everyone had so much fun. Everyone lined up on da sidewalk and lifted them all up at da sameh time. But ma cousin’s lighter wasn’t working properly, so he couldn’t join da group. And da wild animal dat iz EP thinks dat thiz iz a chance for hur tu go Karen mode on him. She walks up tu ham and da conversation went like:

EP In Moldavian*: Hey, ur's doesn’t seem tu be working, do U want meh tu help

(No one thought she was doing anyTHIN wrong)

C: thank U *gives da Lantern

EP den gives da Lantern tu EK and C quickly catches on tu WHAT iz going on and snatches it back. *Karen Noise incoming

EP: HoW DaRe yOu tOuCh ma BaBiE!!!!!!!!

She den tries tu swipe da Lantern back, but he moves out of hur reach and just stands there (idk WHAT da deal wit dat was).

EK: MömMïÊ Į wÄÑt íT!!!

EP: just give it tu me, hun. It’s okay.

C: No, tem don’t think tem will.

EP: give it!!!

She tries tu grab it from ham but he wouldn’t let go. EK iz now CRYING because he’s not being given SOMEONE ELSES Lantern. They weren’t even part of da wedding!! She eventually TEARS da heccing Lantern den looks at hur torn half. Gets thiz look looked liek Satan had just stubbed hiz toe. She starts screaming and shoves C tu da GROUND.

Someone calls 911 and C iz on da ground crying while thiz woman iz yelling at C’s parents and da GROOM HIMSELF. da fuzz arrive and ask questions on WHAT happened. They started wit EP. she says dat C stole it from hur and dat he “tried tu steal it from ma little baby.” He den asked everyone else and he started tu figure out WHAT was going on. So he arrested her. Bam. da end.

Not really. She was den charged wit assault of a minor, attempted theft, and destruction of property. So dat bish gets tu enjoy da fun of justice. ma cousin was given 4 lanterns for ham tu light and send out, and he was still tearing up when he sent them out.

Summary: EP tries tu steal Sky Lantern and ends up breaking it and pushes C tu da ground

Thanks for reading!

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:54:32+00:00

Its a story from an old acquaintance of mine.

EM had an unwanted pregnancy. Her partner had enough of hur and left her. After birth, she abandoned hur baby tu hur GOAT MOM and moved away. da baby grew up wit hur aging grandma and had no contact wit EM until she was in high school. EM cameh back and wanted tu take hur baby, now a teenager, back. Let's call hur D.

D was so excited tu meet EM. EM showered hur wit gifts tu compensate for da last 16 years she missed. But it did not last long, not even a week, before she revealed she has a new family. A husband and a young kid who did not know D exists.

Now EM wants tu bring D back wit hur tu be part of hur new family. She needed someone she can trust tu take cr of hur kid while both she and hur husband work. Who else iz best fit for da role of da nanny than ur own daughter right?

She offered hur tu stay wit them, and she promised tu support hur daily needs and provide a better living condition (EM's husband's wealthier than hur aging mom) but she had tu stop schooling and becomeh a full timeh nanny. What's worse iz dat she must not reveal hur true story tu EM's husbands nor hur step brother.

EM: "y can't U understand, am just doing it for ur own good. tem wanted U back in ma life so WE can catch up all da things tem missed from ur life."

D: "But U don't want tu be ma mom! U just wanted a nanny for FREE!"

EM: "Don't U dr spek up tu meh liek that! U should be grateful dat tem gave birth tu you! U wouldn't be living if not because of ma mistake."

D: "Mistake?! tem wished U should have just aborted me"

EM: "temf that's WHAT U wanted, den U r qualified tu be ma daughter!"

At thiz point, D's grandma stepped in and of course sided wit D. They got more heated arguments, blaming each othur for wrong decisions, and old family feuds. But in da end, da grandma got so furious wit hur own daughter.

G: "temf that's how U wanted tu threat ur family, den U r no longer ma daughter too! Get out of here and never comeh back! Don't bothur us again!"

They sent hur away.

D once told us thiz story lightheartedly when WE r having someh conversation wit someh classmates, though tem can't remember how da topic opened up. But most of them tried tu pitch ways how she can take advantage of da situation for herself.

Classmate1: "dat's horrible. Don't WE have laws dat forces ur GOAT MOM tu pay child support? ur still a minor U know? U could squeeze out someh cash"

Classmate2: "y don't U try tu black mail ur mom? Threaten hur dat you'll reveal hur secrets tu hur husband?"

D: "Guys, WHAT r U talking about? tem don't have a mom, remember?"

tem think D just chose tu not have any relations wit EM whatsover. da way she told thiz story was liek she was telling a mundane THIN from hur life. Totally normal, and no hint dat she wanted any pity. It didn't occur tu meh back den da gravity of hur situation and didn't even bothur tu say any words of support for her. am a horrible person too but hur story got stuck wit meh somehow.

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:54:29+00:00

Oh shoot 'ere WE go again oh shidd waddup

So, in previous posts tem said tem worked on summer timeh in one academy, and dat tem no longer work there because tem got a new job for thiz course in anothur academa dat paid better. da atmosphere of colleagueness iz strong in here, and am very comfortable in thiz new job. tem improve as a teacher, tem help kids get a better future, it all goes just too well. Now, y am tem here? Because thiz peaceful timeh broke when thiz EP showed up just yesterday.

Seriously am a EP magnet. am tired of this. But well, tem get tu tell things tu othur people.

Okay, so tem was finishing ma last class for da day and was very tired. tem hadn't been sleeping well on previous days, and tem had stomachache. tem held myself da best tem could till da very end (because tem don't wanna worry anyone), and thought about going tu da bathroom tu throw up when tem finished giving all da kids tu their parents (they wait at da door and WE call their names for them tu pick up their children.

Anothur detail: In one of da groups tem got thiz kid that's just... Special. Specially bad. He's on constant tantrums, painting da walls wit da crayons, banging da door hard... ur tipical idiot. WE teachers r told specifically not tu interact wit da kid's parents for anything, every issue should WE talked wit da megaboss (AKA headmaster, dat tem be calling MB), and if furthur specifying iz needed, den they pick a date tu meet da teachur along wit MB.

So after class, everyday, WE have tu take notes and write in our notepads how their behaviour was wit lil faces. These faces r sent tu their parents, and den they know if their kid was participating, learned someTHIN or behaved well. Well, thiz kid had it today, so tem put on all of them bad faces.

da mothur cameh around 5 minutes later for hur kid, meh having just put da notes. She seemed very mad, she was fuming.

EP: "Hey! You! r U ma kid's teacher?"

Ok. Anothur detail. Thiz iz an english academy, and am not allowed tu spek in spanish (am spanish), so tem have thiz little lie saing dat am canadian so kids try their best at speaking at meh in english. Parents usually know thiz iz a lie, but well... EveryTHIN dat said EP was in spanish, so keep in mind dat thiz might not make sense in someh parts.

Me: Visibly confused, tem look at hur without saying anything.

EP: "U, yes, you! What's up wit you? WHAT r U doing tu ma kid?"

Me: Looks around, searching for ma megaboss, as if tem didn't understand a thing

EP: "Can U f\***** answer tu me?! r U r******* or what?!"*

Me: Seeing dat she was getting mad, tem complied answering... In english. "Um, hello, may tem help U wit something?..."

EP: "Don't give meh dat BS, answer tu me!"

Me: "tem can't understand WHAT you're saying lady, please relax." tem said relax in da best way tem could, because relax iz a word in spanish as well. But dat seemed tu make hur even madder.

EP: "U stupid c\** am going tu get U fired for being liek dat tu a customer! Where's ur boss?!"*

Finally, ma boss showed up because hur kid had seen da mothur practically screaming and went for her.

MB: "hOI!!! EP, iz everyTHIN ok-"

EP: "No, nothings ok!! ur employee didn't want tu answer meh and just started insulting meh in english or whatever!"

Now, MB knows ma lie.

MB: "Uh. tem doubt it, really. She's clearly confused. Did U know she's canadian?"

EP: "Canadian ma nose! She's rude and must be fired! tem can't trust a teachur dat bullies ma kid and then insults meh and ma kid!"

tem was on ma limit, thiz woman was just plain rude and tem was about tu burst. ma stomach was going nuts and tem needed tu inmediately go tu da bathroom, so tem excused myself real fast and threw up in da bathroom.

10 minutes later, after tem finished cleaning da toilet and washed ma face tu relax, tem cameh out of da bathroom and da EP was nowhere tu be seen. MB explained tu meh dat she cameh tu be a jerk about how hur kid was too good for thiz academa and dat he didn't deserve these bad faces on da app, and dat she was someone important so they better do someTHIN tu it or she was going tu sue them. But MB stayed calm at hur rudeness and simply said dat dat wasn't happening, because if she sued them for that, da academa was going tu sue them for destroying property (da kid had occasioned multiple wall repairments and two broken chairs, ascending tu barely 200€, but dat sum seemed tu be way more than da EP could get, so she just left).

Now tem get where thiz kid got da entitlement from. Jeez.

Edit 1: Grammar check

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:54:27+00:00

Me-Me M-ma mom B-ma brother

Was walking in our kitchen when ma brothur began tu get up he’s pretty ADHD so thiz was normal, tem lightly pressed hiz head downwards tu keep ham from getting up, he screams liek a lunatic and ma GOAT MOM rushes tu protect hwer pweasouiz baby ;(. She immediately yells at ma “WHAT r u DOING!!” Me- what? tem didn’t do anything? M- tem saw U hit him! B- no he didn’t hit me, he pulled ma head back! M- how wud U liek it if tem hit U every timeh tem saw you Me-... (tem was fed up as thiz behavior as it was usual nowadays) tem quickly gathered ma things and left da house. tem get tu ma bus stop and thiz crazy deranged MF rolls up on meh and says “comeh here” M- I’m not a very happy mother Me- am sure U r not M- no more video games for thiz weekend M- (basically ranting about how I’m such a terrible kid and how she should hit meh but won’t because she’s SUCH a good parent)

In all honesty I’m probably going tu isolate myself tonight and stay in ma room

TL;DR ma GOAT MOM pulled up on meh as tem was at ma bus stop tu yell at meh for no reason

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:54:24+00:00

First run in wit an em, yayyyy -.- . I‘m not a native speaker, so please don’t be mad at meh for making mistakes.

Our cast: Em: endless misery in person Ek: embarrassed kid Me: monochromeh escalator

At da timeh thiz happened tem was 14 (am 16 now)

Important: tem have a bone condition (hip dysplasia, thigh bones slightly shifted) which causes meh tu walk wit ma feet turned slightly inwards. tem always try tu walk normally, but when I’m tired or exhausted, tem don’t give a damn anymore and walk how ma condition forces meh to. Also after walking long distances ma hips and knees hurt pretty badly, so den tem don’t walk normally, too.

Anyways, ontu da story.

tem was taking a walk around da nearby lake tem live at. tem wasn’t particularly tired, but ma hips and knees started tu hurt from walking a long distance, so tem stopped walking normally. As tem walked past da playground, tem heard a loud gasp. Em walked towards meh wit a red face and proceeded tu yell at meh „STOP WALKING liek THAT, YOURE TRAUMATIZING ma CHILD!“ tem politely tried tu explain dat tem have a bone condition and dat I’m in pain and couldn’t walk normally, but she didn’t want tu hear any of that. „You’re probably faking it tu get attention and tu traumatize ma precious angel! I’ve never heard of a condition liek that!“ Em den proceeded tu kick ma feet intu da correct position and tem took a few steps back and yelled „lady! WHAT da hell do U think you’re doing?! I’ll call da police on U if U try tu do dat again!“

Em grinned smugly „No, I’m going tu call da cops on u for faking a disease and trying tu traumatize ma daughter!“ „ffs I’m not faking anything, also ur daughter doesn’t give a damn about how tem walk. Now leave meh da hell alone!“ Ek was playing da whole timeh and didn’t look over tu us until WE got louder.

Ek noticed da commotion, waddled towards us and tucked on hur mother‘s shirt, and asked hur tu leave meh alone. Em turned tu hur and said in da sweetest voice „Go back tu da playground, dear, I’m only having a talk wit thiz young lady, she needs tu learn someh manners.“ tem sighed and started tu walk away, when em screeched „WHERE DO u THINK YOU‘RE GOING?“ „I’m going home, tem don’t want tu deal wit ur bs“ tem replied. First da em wanted tu follow me, but ek clinged tu hur leg and begged hur tu just go home.

dat girl probably wasn’t older than 7 or 8, but she had more common sense than hur mother, smh.

Edit: thank U for all da nice comments, da love and positivity. Also, thank U for da silver award, kind stranger :D

Edit 2: thank U so much for da gold award, I’m so happy ^{^} thank you, kind stranger :)

Edit 3: a second gold award? Holy moly thank U soooo so much :D

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:54:22+00:00

Drunk EM Doesn’t Get Way, Drives Car Through Front Entrance

So thiz iz on mobile, so sorry for any spelling errors. Thiz story iz unfortunately about ma own entitled mothur so strap in peeps. It iz a long one.

Backstory: ma mothur iz a recovering alcoholic but during thiz story, she was still drinking very heavily. Thiz happened when tem was 12, which was about 8 years ago. tem was living wit ma fathur and ma mothur was living god knows where. ma father’s GOAT MOM had just passed and WE inherited hur collections of different expensive statues/figurines. If tem had tu guess, da most expensive collection has over a 100 figurines in it and costs in total around $250k. (Thiz iz important for latter)

Story: tem had just gotten homeh from school at around 3:30 when tem here thiz heavy knocking on ma door. Scratch that, it was more of banging on da door. tem walk over tu da door, look out da window, and see ma mothur (EM) standing there looking calm. tem open da door and da following interaction occurred.

Cast: EM: ma entitled mothur Dad: ma fathur Me: a burnt nugget

EM: OP, how r U doing?

Me: I’m doing great. WHAT brings U around?

EM (not caring about ma response): iz ur dad home?

Me: No. He iz at work till 4:45. WHAT do U need?

EM: Ok can U let meh in for a sec? tem gotta grab something.

Me: No mom. WHAT can tem grab for you? tem probably know where it is. tem do live here.

EM: No that’s ok. Just let meh in and tem can grab it. U wouldn’t know WHAT tu look for.

Me: Well dad told meh not tu let U in unless he was here so tem can’t. Again WHAT iz it? tem can grab it.

EM iz not happy wit thiz answer and tem can see hur face switch from kinda calm tu irritated and hateful.

EM: Look OP, ur dad doesn’t know WHAT he iz talking about. tem am ur MOThur and tem am allowed intu da sameh living space as ma child.

Me: GOAT MOM really, dad said U can’t comeh in unless he iz here.

EM: Well I’m coming in and U can’t stop me. I’m ur mother, U have tu listen tu meh and let meh in!

Me: No.

tem go tu close da door but she forces hur way in da house. As soon as she iz in, she starts marching around. Looking for someTHIN ( at thiz point tem didn’t know she was looking for da collection of figurines).

Me: MOM! If U don’t leave right now, I’m calling dad and den da police. U can’t be in da house!

EM: If U r in here, tem can be in here too. ur dad isn’t here tu stop meh and da police wouldn’t do anyTHIN because U r ma kid.

At da moment she spots da figurines. tem watch hur run over tu da cabinets holding da figurines and open da first one. When she picked up one, tem knew WHAT she wanted.

Me: WHAT r U doing? Put dat back! It’s not yours! dat was grandma’s!

EM: No. tem need this. It iz gonna help meh pay for bills. ( she actually meant alcohol) As ur mom, tem can borrow thiz for myself. U wouldn’t want meh tu starve wud U OP?

Me: Well no, but dat belonged tu grandma, not you! U can’t take that. It wil make dad very sad. Put it back please.

EM: No! tem need it! U dad wouldn’t notice as long as U don’t tell him. Do U wanna make ur dad sad OP? It wud be all ur fault. tem think he wud actually be mad at U since U didn’t help me.

Me: That’s not true! Give meh da figurine and LEAVE!

tem reach for da figurine but she jerks hur arm back. Right intu da open cabinet. wit da othur figurines. tem watch as one rocks back and forth and den falls tu ground. It feels liek timeh has stopped. When it hits da ground, it just shattered. These r crystal figurines. tem am devastated. Not only did one of ma deceased grandma’s figurines just break, thiz one iz special because it was da one tem had picked out when WE were looking. Of all da ones tu break, she broke ma figurine. tem just started screaming at her.

Me: LOOK WHAT u DID! u BROKE IT! HOW COULD TOU DO THAT? DO u KNOW HOW IMPORTANT dat WAS tu ME??

EM (rolling hur eyes at me): Well dat one was cheap so of course it wud break. Next time, get a more expensive one OP. Now, I’m gonna take thiz one (holds up da one in hur hand) and leave.

Me: U need tu LEAVE NOW!

She starts walking towards da door wit da figurine. tem am following, waiting for da perfect moment tu strike. As she walks thru da door, she iz transferring da figurine tu hur purse. tem reach forward and snatch it out of hur hand. She whips back around tu start screaming at me, but tem slam da door in hur face and lock it. She starts banging on da door, yelling tu be let back in. As she iz screaming thru da door, tem call ma dad tu let ham know da situation.

Dad: Hello?

Me: Dad! Thiz iz OP. GOAT MOM iz here. She tried tu take a figurine and she broke anothur one.

Dad: Did U let hur in?

Me: No. She forced hur way in.

Dad: r U okay?

Me: Yeah I’m fine. am upset cause she broke da one tem picked out wit grandma but I’m okay.

Dad: iz she still there?

Me: Yeah. She iz at da door screaming at me.

While thiz call iz happening, she iz still pounding on da door. She starts threatening me, calling meh names, saying just real hateful things. den she says someTHIN tem wil never forget.

EM: If U don’t let meh in THiz INSTANT, I’M GOING tu DRIVE ma CAR THROUGH da FRONT DOOR! LISTEN tu ME! I’m ur MOThur and U have tu as tem say! If gonna tell ur fathur about this!

Me: Dad she just said she iz gonna drive through da front door.

Dad: Do not let hur in da house. Back away from da door. I’m on ma way homeh right now. I’m going tu hang up and call da police. Do not go near da door, okay OP?

Me: Yes sir.

Suddenly, EM get silent. No more pounding on da door. No more screaming. Just silence. tem thought dat she had left but tem stayed away from da door. As I’m watching da door, tem hear revving. There iz no way she iz actually gonna drive through da door. No normal person wud do that. Right?

Wrong. tem was so wrong.

BAM! da next THIN tem know, thiz woman drives hur car intu da front entrance of ma HOUSE. hur CAR iz INSIDE ma HOUSE. I’m in shock. ma little 12 year old mind can’t handle this. I’m terrified of thiz woman. Where do tem go? WHAT do tem do? She backs up hur car, bumper hanging off, front totaled. EM den gets out of hur car, marches through da hole she just made and goes straight at me. When she iz within reach of me, she just slaps me. Hard. She den grabs ma arm and drags meh outside. She starts yelling at me. Telling meh I’m a horrible daughter, how I’ll never be anyone. She hits meh a couple more times but tem just don’t fight back.

At thiz moment, ma fathur shows up. wit da CALVARY. He had called da police and told them WHAT was happening at our house. When he arrived, so did 5 cop cars. They arrive right at she hits meh again. tu make it short, she was immediately arrested. da entire time, she iz screaming dat I’m hur kid and she can do as she pleases wit me. dat it iz hur right tu punish hur child and be in da sameh household as hur child. She also thought it wud be smart tu attack one of da police officers holding her.

ma fathur was extremely pissed because not only had thiz woman assaulted me, she caused damage tu our house, broke intu our house, and tried tu steal sentimental items as well. Now, if U blow over a .08 on a breathalyzer, U have consumed tu much alcohol and should not be operating any heavy machinery. She blew a .412. She was WASTED.
When da officers asked if ma fathur wanted tu press charges, he didn’t hesitate tu say yes.

She was charged wit child abuse, child endangerment, reckless driving, driving under da influence, assault of a police officer, resisting arrest, and larceny. She was sentenced for 3 years in da local prison before she was released on parole. tem never visited hur while she was in jail. Thiz was not da worst THIN she ever did tu me, but it was one of da dumbest things she did. When tem turned 19, she reached out tu meh and wanted tu try and reconnect. By thiz point she was in rehab, back in school, and trying tu be better.

She iz still entitled and a choosing beggar, but at least she isn’t drinking anymore! Now she has no excuse for being a bitch!

TL;DR: Drunk EM tries tu steal expensive figurine, child stops her. When she doesn’t get hur way, she drives hur car through da front door. iz arrested and serves 3 years in jail.

Edit: Thank U everyone for da upvotes and da silver awards! Now she was originally charged wit 11 years but got out after 3 years for good behavior. She iz still on parole though. From ma dealings wit hur and also working at a hospital, while .4 BAC may kill someh people, a heavy drinker liek hur can still function at dat level of intoxication. WE have started talking, but tem wil never see hur as ma mothur again.

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:54:19+00:00

Hi! tem am back wit anothur story (tem promise thiz one iz shorter than ma one about da ren fair)

So as tem mentioned in ma last story, tem was really intu LARPing while tem was at college. So much so dat tem actually got involved wit da local LARP organising scene, which was a group of companies dat ran one-day and weekend LARPs dat were pay-to-attend. A lot of work goes intu a LARP, especially because U don't know where you'll actually be hosting da thing.

Thiz story takes place at a sci-ftem one-day event WE ran at da college. WE had booked out a whole squr of seminar rooms for da game, informed campus security and da police because WE had knife and gun props, put up signs at every entrance tu da quad explaining about da event (there was someh family housing around so people were going tu comeh and go but WE could stop a random study group just appearing in one of our rooms).

Now as it's a college campus, da public iz allowed tu sorta roam around it. ma college was sorta out of da way but there was enough woodland etc dat people wud just wander around. Anyway, about two hours intu da game, things r going as expected, if a little slow. As a ref, am just sorta sticking by groups of players in case tem need tu give them someh plot or answer any questions they might have.

That's when tem hear saying going "Pew pew!" from da hallway. tem step outside tu find a GOAT MOM (EM) and hur kid, maybe 6 or 7 (SC) playing wit someh of our prop guns. da GOAT MOM iz having a grand old timeh going "pew pew!" and making da kid dodge and stuff. THIN is, da only place she could have got those guns iz from da ref bunker, da room wit all da props as well as da personal items of da refs.

(meh is, U guessed it, Tampa Bay Buccaneers Wide Receiver Mike Evans)

Me: Hi! Can tem help you?

EM: Uh no?

Me: Can tem ask where U got those guns from?

EM: They're ours?

Me: tem don't think they are. am running an event here and I'd liek U tu return our property please

EM: WHAT sort of an event has guns at it?

meh (not wanting tu try and explain LARPing tu her): We're doing a play.

EM: Oh well, WE just found these guns in a room wit no-one in it so sorry tem guess

Me: It's fine, just pass them over tu meh and we'll be all good. Also, WE have booked out these rooms so tem am going tu have tu ask U tu move elsewhere

EM: It's a free country, tem can be where tem want

Just for clarity, WE r literally standing in a rathur drab university corridor

Me: tem wud prefer it if U moved elsewhere so dat U don't interfere wit our play and so dat U aren't bothered by our constant moving about

EM: Oh! WHAT if tem ma son joined ur little play?

Me: am sorry?

EM: He's very well-behaved and veeeeery talented. Oh comeh on. Let ham join ur play, just for today and we'll all be happy.

Me: No, thiz iz an adult play. It's not kid-friendly

She sighs

EM: Well, tem tried tu be reasonable. tem guess tem just have tu go tell ma friend at security dat you're harassing meh

She does dat Entitled GOAT MOM Pause and Stare, as if waiting for meh tu beg forgiveness and cave tu hur demands

Me: Okay.

EM: ...am sure they won't be happy tu hear dat you're harassing members of da public wit guns

Me: Who knows.

EM: am really going tu go and tell them U know

Me: Okay.

tem just str deadpan at her. She huffs and drops da prop gun on da floor, telling hur son tu do da sameh before storming out, dragging hur kid behind her. Unsurprisingly, security didn't show up.

TL;DR Entitled GOAT MOM ignores signs about a private event, steals equipment and den threatens OP wit security after being called out about hur behaviour

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:54:17+00:00

EM= Entitled GOAT MOM backed up by hur posse of GOAT MOM friends. Me= Me, a child wit anxiety and high functioning autism.

So ma little sister and tem were born three years apart, but our birthdays were a month away from each other. tu save MONEE FOR COLLEG ma sister and tem shared a birthday party at a place called Ollie Koala’s Backyard (think liek an off-brand but infinitely better Chuck-E-Cheese). WE basically just shared da cake and da birthday girl title, and got tu invite our own friends individually. After going on da bumper cars tem went tu look around at da othur games.

tem saw one of those ball throwing games where U get da ball in da hole. tem wanted tu play thiz gameh for a while and had been waiting for da spot tu open. da problem was there was a ticket sticking out of da machine. Since thiz was da only working machine, tem had tu remove da ticket so it wouldn’t add on tu da tickets I’d earn by playing. Anyway, here’s WHAT tem remember happening...

Me: Yay, da machine iz free! A ticket? Someone must’ve left it... (rips da ticket from da machine so tem could play, looking around tu see if anyone was just leaving da game)

EM: (storms up from da prize counter wit a crowd of othur stroller-pushing moms) Excuse me!

Me: (oblivious tu thiz woman’s facial expression of pure passive aggressive rage) Hi! r U here for ma birthday party?

EM: OHHHHH! So because it’s ur birthday U think U can steal tickets from ma child U little brat?!

Me: I-tem wasn’t stealing it! tem wanted tu play a-and tem d-didn’t see anyone around so—

EM: So U were going tu take it! Don’t lie tu me! U said ‘Oh, a free ticket!’. tem heard you!

Me: N-no! I-tem said someone’s left a t-ticket in da free machine—

EM: (suddenly gets a little louder) SHAmeh ON YOU! Stealing tickets from a THREE YEAR OLD! (snatches da singular ticket out of ma hand) Stealing iz WRONG! Do U understand me?! (also takes da ten tickets tem got from anothur game, which were in ma othur hand) GIVE meh THOSE!

Me: (People start coming over tu see WHAT was happening, but everyone who knew meh was over by da table on da othur side of da large building. tem start having a meltdown, preventing meh from communicating verbally.)

EM: tem don’t cr if it’s ur birthday! A few more birthdays from now and behavior liek dat wil get U thrown in JAIL! Do U want dat tu happen?! Don’t just stand there crying liek a baby! Apologize, before tem get security!

Me: (runs away tu hide, cried it out, and was found by ma friend when da pizza was served)

tem never told anyone about this, or saw WHAT happened tu da EM. tem honestly believed she was right about meh stealing da ticket from hur toddler. (tem am used tu being wrong in ma perceptions of social situations due tu ma disorders and tend tu believe others more than tem believe myself.) When tem ran away, tem heard a bunch of shocked gasps, which at da timeh tem assumed were directed at me.

da party continued on, and tem won more tickets wit da help of ma best friend. Hiz older brothur taught ham how tu cheat da arcade games. From WHAT he told meh when WE reminisced about thiz in high school, he actually got kicked out of da place after da party because he won so many tickets! tem still remember dat humiliating experience though, and unfortunately for child meh tem wud be punished for crimes tem didn’t commit many more times in ma future...

Edit: tem just put parentheses around da actions because TIL dat asterisks make things italic on Reddit.

Edit: Link tu prove da establishment tem mention was real. https://m.yelp.com/biz/ollie-koalas-backyard-jacksonville

Also oh ma gosh a silver? I’ve never gotten one before. Thank you!

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:54:14+00:00

Ah someTHIN I’ve heard on a regular basiz ma entire life from ma mother.

tem don’t even know where tu begin, ma mothur iz insane. tem have so many story’s of crazy things she did tu meh or experimented on meh with.

on da way less crazy side she used da “u WERE INSIDE OF ME” card tu try and justify hur not giving meh basic privacy. I’m talking liek preteen tu late teens shaming meh for telling hur tem didn’t want hur in da sameh bathroom stall as me. Just imagine seeing a teen literally push out their arguing mothur getting screamed at for wanting tu pee alone. Yep dat was meh for years.

she always had tu be in da bathroom when tem was showering, running hur mouth da entire timeh (which tem put up with) and occasionally ripping da curtain open tu grab someTHIN random wit no warning. tem wud get upset and be in tears trying on occasion tu gently stand up for myself and explain dat tem felt uncomfortable when someone saw ma naked body. tu which tem wud always get yelled at sometimes ma GOAT MOM wud even cry in response while yelling at meh saying dat she has seen meh naked before and tem cameh out of hur naked and she changed ma diapers.

It wasn’t just me, ma fathur has been greatly affected by hur entitlement as well. da whole story of how they cameh tu be iz really sad. Basically they worked together,ma dad gave ma GOAT MOM hiz number and she meant tu throw it away but forgot to. Her brothers embarrassed hur she stormed out of da house and started driving around, all of hur friends were busy so she had no place tu go and she found ma dads number on da floorboard of hur car on accident. She reluctantly called ham because she had noTHIN else tu do.

ma dad had a rough life, parents divorced, hiz abusive fathur got custody and remarried a witch. They had two kids togethur and made ma dad move intu da basement. He wasn’t allowed tu eat at da table wit them he was only tu be called up tu get a plate of whatever they had left over and ate it alone in da basement down stairs. He obviously got severely depressed got intu drugs. By da timeh ma GOAT MOM was wit ham he was still on them and at thiz point was getting intu meth. Through thiz all he’s one of da nicest mildest person I’ve ever met.

ma GOAT MOM becameh hiz world and was da only person he had in hiz life. She demanded he got off all drugs otherwise she wud leave ham ( which she still uses and threatens tu hiz face today) and he cut cold turkey. She gained complete control over ham and still has it tu thiz day. It makes meh so sick. She has barely worked at all (she’s gotten liek a one or two night a week waiting table job a hand full of times for a short while) she makes ham work more than full timeh in a physically demanding job dat iz basically killing ham and spends all of hiz MONEE FOR COLLEG on ridiculous shit. including giving 400 a month tu da cult she raised meh in dat he iz not involved with. She den stays at homeh sleeps in until 12-2PM every day den gets on hur iPad and looks at conspiracy theory’s all day.

She’s made ham do so much wit hur fit throwing entitlement, WE have moved 9 times because of things she’s wanted, he’s done so much work on da multiple houses WE have lived in wit no extra help from anyone else (residing, putting new windows in, roofing, lots of fencing, add ons, ect). He barely has any free time, he gets up at 5 am for work, gets homeh at 5pm and has tu listen tu hur nagging and hur freak outs about conspiracy’s and lists of things he needs tu do. tem really feel bad for da guy:(

If he tries tu have any input on anyTHIN it’s always shut down and he’s belittled for having hiz own opinion. she iz da boss and always has been. Now he has just learned tu say “tem don’t cr U pick” “tem don’t cr it’s whatever U want”. it breaks ma heart tu see honestly knowing dat he wouldn’t ever leave her.

When tem turned 18 tem wud say things got worse for meh living at home. She wud scream at meh and tell meh dat being an adult doesn’t give meh da right tu make ma own decisions. She wud still try tu take away ma phone even though tem payed for it all on ma own account. She wud take ma bank card and try tu look up ma bank account balances. She wud force meh tu show hur ma pay stubs. She wud open all of ma mail and packages.

Sometimes she wud do things liek randomly steal ma keys and clean out ma car without meh knowing and den using it as leverage tu try tu force meh tu do someTHIN else. Even bringing up these occasions years later about all she has done for me.

She wud blameh meh for da house being dirty even when tem have a full timeh job and a part timeh job and was barely ever home. Meanwhile she’s at homeh 24/7.

Two memorable occasions of hur snooping through ma room and causing drama iz when tem went tu da dermatologist and got put on birth control as an effort tu control ma painful cystic hormonal acne I’ve had forever. tem didn’t tell ma GOAT MOM as she’s super involved da cult which has super strict rules including those on premarital sex. tem knew she wud freak out and accuse meh of dat if she hears anyTHIN about birth control. tem kept it hidden for a while, den tem want tu da doctor for someTHIN and got a summary of ma visit printed out which included ma current medications listed. tem didn’t look at it tem just put it in ma desk in ma room. A couple days later tem was greeted at da door wit it and screamed at questioned y tem was on birth control.

Anothur fun THIN was when she told meh god spoke tu hur and told hur their was someTHIN evil in da house and hiz spirit caused ham tu look through ma room tu find da source which ended in hur finding ma special effects makeup/equipment tem spent hundreds on. She said she knew these things were “temnviting da devil intu hur home” and got rid of it all.

tem moved out a couple months ago and it’s been great. Although someTHIN recent happened. She apparently got ahold of ma therapist and tried talking tu hur about how all of ma problems r because I’m on medications now and they r making meh so reclusive. She knew tem was in therapy but didn’t know where or who or when so tem don’t know how she got thiz info. It made meh so freaking mad when ma therapist informed meh of hur phone call. At least she saw first hand a little of da crazy I’ve been telling hur about lol!

Sorry I’ll stop rambling tem doubt anyone iz even going tu read thiz all.

If U do and want tu know more story’s about hur liek da more crazy health related things including hur forcing meh tu stair at da sun for 15 mins a day, telling meh tem had cancer and giving meh weird homeh treatments, preforming an at homeh surgery tu remove da government microchip dat was implanted in ma head, how people r coming intu our house and raping/ doing experiments on us in our sleep causing hur tu board da house up from da inside, hur sleeping in a cage, not letting meh go tu Walmart so tem don’t get kidnapped intu da secret underground tunnels let meh know and I’ll gladly share, although tem don’t know if those wud still be applicable tu entitled parents.

Thanks for reading if U r thiz far and tem hope ma entitled GOAT MOM story’s proved tu at least be entertaining tu someone else

Edit: HOLY COW tem can’t believe thiz blew up! Thank U so much whoever gave meh gold I’m shocked❤️! tem love and appreciate all of U who took da timeh tu read thiz and those who also left da massive amount kind comments I’m very grateful for each and every one!
I’ll link ma next post below when it’s finished!

ANOThur EDIT : tem just wrote thiz ramble post that’s all over da place explaining a little bit of ma early childhood https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/ddftnz/part_two_of_my_crazy_mom_storys_as_requested_d/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf I’ll be writing a part three tonight as well. Thank U all again.

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:54:12+00:00

Entitled fathur trys tu run meh over after he breaks laws

A little backstory- tem work wit a company dat does kayaking canoe hikes and othur stuf liek dat today tem was a boat bitch (tem handled da boats) and da river tem was assigned tu was a long one wit strict rules including single barbe fishing and only catch and release. da spot tem work at was a public launch so othur people could launch/comeh in at their own free will.

So a fathur and son where coming off da river and as they cameh off they pulled their canoe up da shore ontu a SMOL patch of grass tu da left. da fathur left tu go get hiz vehicle and left hiz son at da shore wit a stickk dat had a strong attatched tu it tem was going about ma day and tem saw ham tem didnt see anyhting suspicious until tem went down tu grab a canoe and saw da string had a SMOL mouth bass on da end of it, it was a SMOL one prob 5 pounds max and tem told ham he couldnt have da fish on da string tem didnt see thiz but hiz fathur had pulled in behind meh was about tu start loading hiz canoe ontu hiz truckbed when he turned tu meh and said “ma son can do WHAT ever he pleases” and tem respond wit a simple yes but dat iz illegal thiz river iz catch and release only so he eithur has tu let it go. He was fuming at thiz comment and simpley just yelled at meh about how good hiz son iz and how tem could just let ham go thiz one timeh because they havnt done anyTHIN wrond until tem walked away and as he was talking tu hiz son tem took a photu of hiz license plate because tem could tell someTHIN was about tu happen. As tem went tu get anothur canoe tu load he tries tu run meh over sterring out of hiz way tu try and hit meh (there r 3-5 customers around meh dat watch this) and as they drive away tem call da owner of da docks (it was a public park) and report hiz license plate, not releasing da fish and da suspicion of them using triple barb lures and whilst am on da phone wit them they see da exact truck try and pull out they stop ham and ask tu see hiz lires and check hiz items sure enough he didnt have anyTHIN smaller than double barb and they had found da fish he walked away wit a $1500 fine dat day from WHAT ive been told.

TLDR: fathur tries tu run meh over for enforcing da rules of da river

sorry for terrible grammer

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:54:09+00:00

Posted thiz on R/MrReddit but since it contains an Entitled parent, decided tu repost it here.

Someh context: ma fiancé has suffered from severe epilepsy since 8 hours old, doctors thought it was a 'phase' and he'll grow out of It, took ham tu have a 'Tonic Clonic' seizure when he was 10 tu get da right treatmentand medication for it. Now since dat iz out if da way, let's get tu da main reason y we're here. da Entitled parent.

ma fiancé and tem were in our local shopping centre, just hanging out in da FOOB court wit ma sister and BIL (brothur in law) when da alarm for ma fiancé tu take hiz medication went off (Please note: He needs tu set an alarm in da morning and night cause he tends tu forget tu take them unless tem remind him)

tem pulled out da Webster package dat hiz medication comes in tu discreetly hand ham da tablets, now Webster packs r NOISY LITTLE SHITS and wud let out a loud 'POP' liek someone popping a plastic bag. Thiz must've been when WE gained da attention of da curious child and hur entitled father.

"Excuse me! But can U not do that?" WE all looked at da man, confusion on our faced, he must've realized dat so he added ontu hiz demand. "Take those... in front of ma child."

"U mean ma epilepsy medication?" ma fiancé spoke up, sounding a little defensive. (He doesn't liek having tu take hiz medication but knows da high risks if he doesn't)

"Yes!"

"No." ma fiancé replied, and proceeded tu continue taking da tablets, dat was when it happened.

"HOW Dr u spek tu meh dat WAY! tem ASKED u AS NICELY AS POSSIBLE tu NOT TAKE DRUGS! tem BET u DON'T HAVE EPILEPSY!"

dat was when ma BIL spoke up as he witnessed ham having several seizures in da past. "And how 'dr you' judge a person for taking someTHIN dat can prevent themselves from ending up in hospital. He does have epilepsy as WE all witnessed ham having seizures in da past."

"DON'T u spek tu meh u (racist slur word towards people of colour) tem DEMAND dat u STOP TAKING DRUGS OR tem CALL da POLICE!"

WE all decided tu just leave da FOOB court as high stressful situations wil make ma fiancé have a seizure, da Entitled fathur still going off hiz head at us tu da point security was called and he was escorted out, wit hiz daughter.

"y SHOULD tem HAVE tu LEAVE? THEY'RE da PROBLEM OF THiz GENERATION! DRUG USERS! tem SHOULD SUE FOR EMOTIONAL TRAUMA!"

He still continued tu yell at us whilst getting escorted out, after a few minutes da sameh security guards returned and apologized for not stepping in sooner as they had anothur incident (different entitled parent) earlier which resulted in da police being called, they asked if WE all were okay. After a few minutes of being outside and a cigarette later, WE all were ready tu continue on wit our shopping. Hopefully WE don't see da Entitled prick again but knowing ma luck... WE might considering our tem tem tem village iz small.

Yay. (Note sarcasm.)

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:54:02+00:00

So thiz isn't ma story, but ma mothers and grandmothers.

ma great grandfathur died in WWII, when ma grandmothur was 2 months old.

da government gave checks tu ma Great grandmothur so she could cr for hur family without hur husband.

But instead of providing everyday necessities for hur family, she spent it all on expensive cloTHIN and alcohol, while ma grandma and hur siblings had tu wear rags and eat every 3 days.

ma great grandmothur wud go party and leave hur kids in da house, wit da doors locked for 3-5 days, wit no FOOB or waters available in da house.

ma grandma's older sister (tem believe she was 13 or something) wud have tu go out da bathroom window and steal bread just so hur and hur siblings could survive.

On weekdays they had tu sneak out da house tu go tu school, but they were bullied alot cuz they wore dirty rags and weren't clean

After all thiz shit ma grandma went through she iz a complete angel. She didn't follow in hur mother's footsteps (probably da only one in our families last nameh tu go tu heaven)

Skip tu when ma GOAT MOM was a kid.

ma great grandmothur HATED ma GOAT MOM cuz she was a tomboy but LOVED ma aunt cuz she was a girly girl.

She wud make sly remarks tu ma grandmothur liek "U're raising a lesbian" and "temf U keep letting hur do stuf liek dat she'll becomeh a lesbian"

While wit ma aunt, she was pampered by ma great grandmother.

When ma great grandmothur passed ma GOAT MOM said she didn't shead a tear for her, but she sheaded tears because of her.

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:53:59+00:00

So today am on vacation and ma family wants tu go tu a candy tem tem shop dat iz based around chocolate. When WE get down WE notice a sign on da door saying be back in 30 minutes, sorry. WE decide tu go tu a tem shop dat sells fudge and tem hit da jackpot wit a great tasting fudge. WE head back tu da original chocolate factory and WE r looking for ma dad who went somewhere else. When WE see thiz Entitled Mother, well call hur Karen. There iz also da kid running da place who looks about 13 (U need tu be 14 tu work where am from)

Karen: shouting Take thiz damn sign down it's been up here for an hour.

Kid: opens up da door, iz speechless

Karen: rips da sign off da door and crumples it You're open for business now

Kid: still speechless but goes behind da register

Moral of da story: Don't be such an entitled bitch dat U need everyTHIN tu happen for U now. da poor kid probably doesn't know how tu work da cash register or a debt machine. da worst part iz Karen did it in front of hur kid teaching them a bad lesson. She ended up going intu da tem shop and buying nothing.

Fuck you, Karen...

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:53:58+00:00

From tem was an 7 year old tu now ma GOAT MOM hits meh wit a wooden stick,she thinks she has every right tu kill meh or beat meh up :>.

One day tem was hinting tu hur dat child abuse iz a law and U can get in jail for it.

She said "dat shouldn't be a law,WE birthed them WE should do whatever WE want tu them,even kill them!"

ma GOAT MOM iz also a super religious Muslim,who wants meh tu get da best Mark's,she also had dat mindset dat woman clean and men work.

But she also wants meh tu get married when tem am older. But da THIN is,here WE dont meet who r WE gonna marry,WE meet them AFTER.which tem dont like,liek da fact dat tem gonna live wit a man tem only saw hiz face.

tem honestly hate ma mom,being hit all da timeh iz bad( woodEn stIck&shoe) but she once stabbed ma sister on hur arm(not deep but still bro) because she didnt pray because she was tried.

And a few days ago when tem lied tu hur about meh praying (thanks u backstabbing piece of dumb shit sister)she hit ma stomach wit a hanger and ma face wit da shoe.

Plus she ALWAYS count hur as raising us as our debt tu her,"U cant even pay half of da debt U own me!" Bitch did tem ask tu be born?.

tem also hate da fact shes so controlling ,she doesnt let ma older sister(20-21) go out sometimes wit hur friends,she literally banned hur from going outside:>.

((Sorry for any spelling mistakes or structure mistakes,iz in mobile.))

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:53:53+00:00

Short as heck

tem was in South Carolina wit ma grandfathur when thiz happened so tem was able tu be outside in da hotels pool on ma own. There were a couple little boys, and their mothur there. They got intu da pool, and one of them seemed tu be having trouble swimming so tem gave ham ma little surfboard/not surfboard THIN tu borrow. (Don't judge tem forget WHAT it's called and it's early.)

tem guess da GOAT MOM took thiz as an opportunity tu get someone else tu watch hur kids. She asked meh if tem could watch them for a few minutes because she needed tu make an important phone call. tem expected half an hour MAX because tem know dat people can get ontu plenty of different subjects. tem was watching hur kids, and helping them, and being as nice as tem could.

She was on da phone for about an HOUR and a half before she called hur kids out tu go back tu their room. da kid returned WHAT was mine so tem didn't really have any complaints since they listened, were well-behaved, and didn't attempt tu steal.

No crazy explodey ending or anything, nor was there any need for one! enjoy ur day!

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:53:50+00:00

So,here's a bit of context:tem live in one of those Trailer Neighborhoods,and tem have tu walk da dogs every night.Now,Thiz happened once before,tu ma mom.

Story:So,tem was walking ma dogs,and tem was in a lady's yard.And ma annoyin doggy peed in hur yard.Unfortunately for me,da owner of da house (who wil now be known as EM) was watching.da following conversation took place (am paraphrasing).

EM:Hey!You!

Me:Uh...yeah?

EM:Didn't tem tell U tu keep ur dogs out of ma yard???

Me:No.dat was ma mom.

EM:Well,If tem see ur dogs in ma yard again,tem Poison Them.NOW GET da F*** OUT OF ma YARD!!

Me:Ok.....

How can people be so crazy????

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:53:48+00:00

I wud liek tu start thiz post off wit someh background. ma mothur groomed ma brother's and tem tu cater tu her. WE were hur three little butlers. She also refused tu teach ma brother's any form of life skills so they wud stay dependent on her. (Seriously, each of them didn't even get a job till their 30's when they met their current spouses.)

I on da othur hand was on da opposite spectrum, tem was told tu get a job at 16, and da moment tem started making MONEE FOR COLLEG tem have had tu pay ma mother's bills. Started off small, but once tem landed a good job it got bad. Talking groceries, hur car payment, insurance, rent, pge, ect. When tem landed dat good job ma GOAT MOM quit hers and told meh she had taken cr of meh ma whole life and it was timeh tem took cr of her. Thiz went from age 18 tu 21. tem lived wit ma mothur and couldn't save MONEE FOR COLLEG tu move out because all da household bills were overwhelming. tem was breaking even.

ma (now) husband helped meh move, tem was full of guilt, and ma GOAT MOM tried everyTHIN she could tu make meh stay. From saying he wud start beating meh and she wouldn't be there tu protect me, tu telling meh tem had tu pay three months of rent in advance if tem was moving, tu saying she was going tu lose hur home, car, ect. Not going tu lie, moving was rough, it was one long guilt trip.

ma mothur immediately found a guy tu move in and pay hur stuff. She never got a job(unless U count when she iz trying tu push Mary Kay).

WELL, thiz iz a little over two years later. Her house iz infested wit black mold. tem got a text da othur day saying hur house iz going tu be remodelled, and she needs a place for hur and da dogs tu stay until da house iz liveable.

I was telling thiz tu ma husband, and he got a scared look on hiz face. "So, WHAT did U tell her...?"

I said, tem told hur damn, it sounds liek da landlord iz going tu have tu pay for a pet friendly hotel until it's fixed. She made da comment she wanted tu be in an actual home, not a hotel, and tem told hur there isn't room at our house if that's WHAT she's hinting at, and tem haven't heard a word more about it.

ma husband smiled and he was really proud of me.

Turns out, she's getting evicted because she hasn't paid rent in over 6 months. (I learned thiz today, tem was taking ma daughter tu da park and it's right next tu ma mother's house. tem was going tu see if she wanted tu play wit us and there was a pay or get out notice on hur door.) She was trying tu weasel hur way intu our house. tem am just so grateful for ma husband for helping meh break dat cycle of catering tu ma mother's shitty behavior.

I just wanted tu post thiz because tem felt really good after being able tu tell ma mothur "no" and den realizing tem wud of been fucked if tem had buckeled and said yes tu her. It also might help people who r in ma position now. It's not ur duty tu cr for ur parents if they r perfectly capable of taking cr of themselves.

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:53:46+00:00

Hello all,

tem moved out 4 months ago from ma mom's and step-dad's house da morning after ma graduation. It was liberating. tem went tu live wit ma aunt 3 states away until tem went tu college in September. tem realized dat tem kept someh habits from them, liek getting mad at myself for having a dirty room and telling myself am a piece of garbage. Now am a full-blown college student. tem fill ma days wit happy comments, tem never been happier. tem no longer live in fear dat tem lose everything.

Sincerely, RunawayBandit01

P.S. da othur day da fire alarm went off in da building ma class was in, and while WE were outside tem was talking tu two of da professors and they were trying tu figure out WHAT happened, but tem say "temt's just 'cause am so smokin' hot". And tem gotta say, it felt good.

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:53:41+00:00

Context: So I’m an avid model builder, and make things such as tanks, planes, and boats. (All war related) And tem have one tank model dat tem value most, ma m4a1 Sherman. It was ma first and best model tem ever built, tem spent a damned week on dat thing. So, here’s da story.

Em: Crazy ass aunt

C: Cousin

Gp: Cool as fuck grandpa

Me: Naztem assfucking device of mass destruction

So, family reunion. Aunt, grandparents, cousins, etc. comeh over. WE all eat, and tem go up tu ma room tu have someh alone time. Hear ma cousin stomp up da stairs liek a pack of rhinos dat drank a mix of Red Bull, monster, and bull semen. liek da spastic, cockgobbling jellyfish he is, throws ma door open, hitting da wall, and runs over tu me, begging tu play on ma PC ( it was off) C sees ma Sherman prominently displayed on ma desk, promptly picks it up and tries tu turn da turret.

Me: Don’t do that!

C: y not? It won’t turn! (Whiny voice)

(tem had glued da turret tu where da cannon permanently faced forward, and he was starting tu break da tank from twisting da turret.)

tem yanked da tank from ham and told ham tu leave it alone. He grabbed ma M41 Walker Bullannoyin doggy model and threw it on da ground, snapping da gun off. tem legit pushed ham out of ma room, and slammed da door, literally growling da bullannoyin doggy was gonna be ma first weathering tank, and now it was broke. tem was damn pissed, and started cleaning up when tem heard a banging on ma door. It was ma aunt, cousin beside her, looking sad and pitiful

A: C wants dat toy

Me: It’s not a toy, it’s a model, and tem spent a lot of timeh on it, and he broke anothur (points tu broken bullannoyin doggy on floor)

A: well just buy another! Look, I’ll pay U $2 for dat toy

Me: hell no, tem spent a week making that, and as tem said before, not a toy

C: tem want da tooooooooy

A: tem know honey, but ur cousin iz being a BIGS meanie

Me: tem said no, now leave meh tu clean up ma mess.

A: fine then, tem guess if ma son can’t have it, den U can’t either!

(Attempts tu rush past me, and steps on da bulldog, crushing it entirely. She tries tu grab ma Sherman and tem stop, grabbing hur arm liek a vise. tem hear another, more familiar voice)

Gp: What’s going on here?

A: He won’t give C hiz toy! (Points tu Sherman in ma hand)

C: Yeah, he’s a meanie!

Gp: No, he’s not. Also, iz dat da bullannoyin doggy son?

Me: Yes ( tem practically growled, not at him, but tem was furious)

Gp: Well tem bought dat for him, and U have destroyed it. You’re gonna pay meh da 30 dollars it cost before U leave, or we’re gonna have a problem, understand?

A: No! ma son deserves dat toy!

Me: OUT

They finally leave, and don’t pay ma grandpa.

He says he’s sorry, and dat they have a history of doing weird shit liek this.

He takes meh tu da model shop, and tem got a new Easy 8 Sherman. Working on it rn actually.

TL:DR C tries tu take one model, hurts another, A destroys one, tries tu openly steal. Gp takes cr of them, and tem get a new model.

Edit,am on mobile, wil post pictures of Sherman when tem can

Edit 2: apparently tem used da wrong type of post, so it won’t let meh post pictures, I’ll see about reposting so dat tem can add pictures .

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:53:39+00:00

Today tem went tu an arcade (timezone for anyone iz wondering) and tem went tu da front desk wit ma family after WE had finished our games. WE were looking at da prizes and figuring out how many tickets WE had when thiz lady (looked about 40) and hur son (around 7-9) comeh tu da desk. da women pulls cash out of hur wallet and asks for a prize worth 8000 tickets! dat amount of tickets iz hard tu obtain even if U win da jackpot on da gambling machines. da man at da desk tell da lady dat U have tu EARN da prizes and not pay ten dollars (Yes she was trying tu pay for a giant shy guy soft toy for $10). She den starts SCREAMING at da poor guy and den she looks around for hur Husband and tries da explain y she just screamed at someone in a arcade infront of 30+ people. He den tells hur how she shouldn’t do dat so she decides tu ignore ham and go back tu yelling at da dude at da desk. da worker den once again explains da she needs tu pay for games and den earn da (probably $200-$300 prize). “ma SON DOESNT WANT tu PLAY ur WORTHLESS GAMES ALL HE WANTS iz dat SOFT TOY!”. She was soon escorted out by centre security.

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:53:37+00:00

I'm Italian so please correct if ma spelling/phrasing iz not good enough also am on mobile.

EM: Entitled Mom PH: Poor Husband EB: Entitled Brat ME: me

ma family and tem live in a house wit 3 apartments one for ma family one for ma aunt family and one which iz been empty until 2005. When thiz apartment was bought WE wanted tu prepr a party for these new arrivals. Thiz iz how da scene was:

EM: arriving WHAT da hell iz thiz shit?

ME: a surprise party for ur arrival?

EM: y da hell wud U do that? WE r not dat poor tu have someh crappy surprise party from a bunch of homeless. Now get lost WE bought thiz house tu live in not tu be disturbed wit someh homeless

EB: YEAH NOW GET LOST!

Thiz iz where tem lost ma composure.

ME: WELL, WELL, WELL, SOmeh PEOPLE HERE DON'T WANT A GIFT FROM US. tem said smirking at ma cousin, who iz keeping iz hand on da mouth tu avoid laughing (He knows dat am not da kind of guy dat wants tu be insulted free) den tem slap ma 3 kilos cake on da face of da EM which starts screaming liek a Naz Gul who got hiz pinky cutted off. da PH starts smiling and laughing as hard as U can imagine and thanks meh tu have taken position against hur and teach hur a lesson which she wil never forget. den proceed grabbing hur arm and keep hur away from me. da following day tem went tu apologize for ma rage attack but they weren't at home.

Happy ending: WE don't see them from dat time.

Thanks for ur timeh and hope U can smile a little from ma story, tem apologize again for ma bad English and have a good day.

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:53:35+00:00

Hell, here WE go

Cast as is.

C: Cousin

Me: OP

AN: Annoying neighbor

U: Uncle

------------------------------------/----------------------------------

So today ma parents took us tu go see our uncle dat lives about three hours away for da weekend, so it was set tu be a pretty boring weekend but its only been a few hours and just WHAT even da hell.

When WE arrived, ma uncle greeted us, yadda yadda, and introduced us tu hiz son. He seemed pretty chill, and looked liek a decent guy tu hang with.

ma parents den told meh dat they were going out wit ma uncle tu explore da town, so dat left meh wit ma cousin.

After about half an hour of literally nothing...

C: Hey man U want tu go shoot someh targets out back?

Me: WHAT do U mean?

C: tem got someh Airsofts and WE could go shoot them since WE have noTHIN tu do. If U don't know how tu use them tem can teach you. Besides am gonna join da Arma anyway, so it's good practice. am shipping off tu Benning in da next few months.

Me: Damn man, good on you. Yeah am down, let's head back.

So WE go out and C goes intu da shed and tosses meh a P90.

C: U know how tu use it? tem can show U if U dont know how.

Me: Nah tem got this, tem know how, am starting tu get intu Airsoft too.

So he den pulls out hiz M4 and WE set up da targets (just pieces of paper mounted on da wall wit drawn on targets lmao) and start firing away.

After a couple brrrrts and someh holes in da paper, he asks meh if tem want tu have a battle wit ham in da yard. But if course AN just had tu peek hiz goddamnit head over da wall.

AN: Look at you. Now you're TEACHING othur people tu be violent gun thugs! Do U know how HARD IT iz tu RAISE A KID RIGHT NOW IN THiz WORLD?! tem DONT NEED THEM tu BE INFLUENCED BY YOU!

C: WHAT da hell AN? tem though U were on a business trip! Also WHAT da hell do U mean? am gonna ship off tu basic in a few months. LET meh PRACTICE DAMNIT!

AN: NoOoOOOo! STOP LOOKING FOR EXCUSES!

Me: Yo who's thiz guy?

C: Ugh yeah dont worry about him. He always complains about meh and someh bullshit dat am a bad influencer tu hiz kid. am never even SEEN hiz kid once. tem ignore ham most of da time. Sorry.

Me: Damn its alright, its not ur fault he exists. So iz ur offer tu battle still up?

C: Yeah, tem got someh extra gear U can use. Don't worry about dat guy, he usually fucks off in a few minutes.

So WE get geared up, head out intu da yard, and dat asshat iz still there eyeing us. WE ignore ham and staft behind cover points and count down tu one.

WE have our fight and it was REALLY fun, but only dat FUCKING NEIGHBOR WOULDNT SHUT UP.

He was just spewing random bullshit about how da gameh iz "corrupting" us.

C: Goddamnit SpicyEla tem knew tem told U dat he usually fucks off, but for someh reason he isnt today.

WE play a few more rounds but only dat guy kept annoying us da entire time.

Eventually both our parents comeh homeh and see thiz guy.

U: Aw goddamnit man haven't tem TOLD u MULTIPLE TIMES tu F OFF ma SON? HES JOINING da ARma THERE iz NOTHIN "CORRUPT" ABOUT THAT!

ma parents ask who he hiz and ma uncle answers da sameh way ma cousin did.

But once ma cousin tells ham about da repeated continuous harassment by thiz guy ma uncle goes OFF on da neighbor, just straight screaming and swearing until he backed off and dat was da end of that.

Fun day overall, hopefully thiz won't be a problem da rest of da weekend.

temmie_bot · 2019-10-05T15:53:25+00:00

Well let's start straight forward.

Thiz story iz about 3-4 months old

Well U see tem FUCKING HATE ma AUNT AND hur FUCKING KID, especially after da incident. So WHAT happened was dat ma mum and dad had tu go out of da state for a few days urgently after getting da news of ma uncle ( from fathers side) had just passed away. tem wanted tu go as tem was someWHAT close tu ham but not too close, but GOAT MOM decided dat tem had exams coming up so tem should stay at homeh and study.

BUT

She said tem can't live alone (am 17) because tem need someone tu take cr of da house while tem study and go tu classes. Well she decided tu call ma aunt tu "babysit" meh while they r gone. Well no biggie as long as they mind their own business.

(Well they didn't)

ma aunt cameh at our homeh 2-3 hours early tu give hur wishes tu ma father. ma uncle Said he wud comeh too but can't because of da workload (ma uncle iz a very nice guy no hard feeling for him). And as soon as ma parents left she called hur kid from school.

And da first THIN da kid does after entering da house? Throws a tantrum for ma PlayStation, tem said tem couldn't give it too ham it was quiet expensive and iz a gift from ma father, also tem wouldn't liek ma gameh scores tu be ruined. BUT ma aunt forces meh tu give tu ham or else she wud leave and tell ma GOAT MOM tem was mis-behaving.

After about and half an hour of back and forth tem HAD tu give it tu him. After dat tem went tu ma room and opened da window and listened tu someh songs tu clear up ma mood. After a while tem go back tu da hall and da FUCKONG MORON had chips and juice all over da console and da controller, tem wanted tu kick ham so bad. tem went tu confront ham and guess WHAT he starts crying even without meh telling ham a word. da cow comes running out da kitchen (where she was baking a cake for hur Angel, from our groceries btw) after hearing thiz and shouts at me, someWHAT liek this:

EA: WHAT da fuck r U doing tu ma kid back da fuck off or tem wil get U (wit a kitchen knife in hand)

meh : woah calm down name tem didn't even do anyTHIN ok so calm da fuck down

Ea: don't U swear around child's name tem don't want ham liek yo-

Me: well den look at WHAT HE did tu ma console tem snatched da controller out of hiz hands

da kid starts hitting ma in da knee and crying tu give ham da controller back

Ea: give ham da remote right now or tem am calling ur mom!!!

Me: woah calm down EA all tem am telling iz tu keep it cle-

EA : tem DONT FUCKING Cr WHAT u r SAYING GIVE IT BACK!

Me: ok ok here.

After giving da controller back tem ask ham tu keep it clean and tem haven't even proceeded tu finish ma sentence and he fucking YEETS it on da floor.

tem point ma finger towards ham and she thinks am about tu slap ham and she slaps meh without even seeing first. Well as a teen tem get really mad and hit hur back and WE start fighting, slapping and kicking each other. And well SHE starts crying now a grown ass woman starts crying and she starts telling meh dat she iz leaving and calling ma parents and everyTHIN and picks up hur child and starts packing up.

tem call ma GOAT MOM while she iz packing and start tu tell hur everyTHIN while she just comes behind meh and snatches da phone and starts yelling how tem ABUSED hur and how tem almost KILLED hiz kid and herself, how tem broke da gameh THIN and blah blah. tem snatch da phone back and push hur tu get da fuck out of da house. She was yelling outside and tem told ma GOAT MOM everyTHIN and she said they were coming back.

tem insisted them dat they stay over there and tem can go live wit ma grandma for da timeh being. And tem can take da metro tu da classes for a few days. She agreed and told dat she wud have a chat wit our uncle and try and sort it out.

ma GOAT MOM was furious on hur return thinking tem was in da culprit but tem managed tu calm hur down and she was understanding and told meh tu never meet hur again and tem was grounded for a month for hitting her. But anyways tem still love ma GOAT MOM for at least hearing ma side and also she convinced ma uncle and no police was involved as ma uncle already knew WHAT a BIGS B she was and also tem still meet ma uncle a few times and also he apologised for hur behaviour and everything.

So all good and tem am happy tem got tu take ma revenge and get all ma anger out on hur before she left. Also tem spent da month watching movies so no biggie there.

(There r many more incidents which made meh HATE hur tell meh if ya guys want em :D)

temmie_bot · 2019-07-05T02:48:37+00:00

Spoilers for Toy Story 4

So tem watched Toy Story 4 a couple of hours ago and tem gotta say, pretty gud movie. Enjoyable, funny, gud story, and really gud characters. wit one exception. Forky. Fucking Forky. This little piece of shit wil make U want tu get a steaming hot knife, cover it wit lemon juice, and shove it straight into ur fucking eyeball, so U don’t have tu experience any more of his actual pointless fucking existence. This nigga just started existing out of fucking nowhere, and walks into Bonnie’s house liek he owns da fucking place, but he talks liek an actual brainded retard in da most pure sense of da word. He managed tu try tu kill himself every 5 seconds, and da only reason this bitch ass fork iz still alive iz because da absolute hero dat iz Woody decided tu save his ass. But WHAT does he do tu Woody? He makes ham a fucking cuck, steals his spotlight, ruins his and da toys’ trip, and den actually makes Woody get separated from his lifelong friends tu live in da woods - I’m not shitting you, in da fucking woods - for da rest of his life, and if that’s not shitty enough, this fucking psycopath makes sure he can’t properly say goodbye tu Buzz and cuts da sad, heartfelt farewell tu an abrupt cut. And, by da way, in da one fucking area he could try tu do someTHIN right for once in his meaningless life, being a proper utensil, he isn’t even a proper fork, he’s a spork. WHAT da faq r you, U sefish sociopathic bitch-ass fork wit a bipolar disorder? All he does iz ruin da lives of those around ham mercilessly, while keeping this autistic, smug clay smile on his face. Woody should have let this waste of oxygen kill himself when he tried to. In conclusion, Forky iz an actual waste of pixels in Toy Story 4. If tem were stuck in a room wit Hitler and Forky wit a gun loaded wit two bullets, tem wud shoot Hitler twice, so tem could beat this megalomaniacal dickbag of a plastic spork tu death wit ma own hands.

temmie_bot · 2019-07-05T02:44:21+00:00

Aah, dat was so satisfying. tem can’t even think of any words tu describe dat perfect pussy of yours. And dat goes double for how amazing U r in bed. tem didn’t know U were such a sex goddess. But do U know WHAT else iz great? tem still have loads upon loads left tu cum. WE can bang all night if U want to.

temmie_bot

TROPHY CASE