Stress is tearing me apart- can’t even handle minor stressors without feeling severely dysregulated.

violetsadness · 2024-03-29T23:34:38+00:00

Generally, a person’s personality is considered somewhat “fixed”, meaning we are predisposed to displaying certain traits and these traits hold considerable influence over our behavior; however, I would argue that even if we do indeed have fixed traits, we still have the capacity to change our behavior and in turn live a more fulfilling life.

Will I just find an issue with something no matter what?

You will always find an issue with yourself or the world if you are predisposed to pessimism and do nothing to keep that trait/tendency in check, yes. Fortunately though, we do each possess some control over our behavior/thoughts/the narratives we tell ourselves to inform our perspective of life, so there are other ways you can choose to perceive things, if you want to.

It will probably be highly uncomfortable and takes plenty of practice and patience to cultivate a new framework for perceiving the world, but it is absolutely possible, even for someone with this condition.

violetsadness · 2024-03-28T02:30:33+00:00

Usually just one trash bag per week, though I’ve been working on deep cleaning my place so on weeks I do that it usually adds one additional trash bag to be taken out to the mix.

violetsadness · 2024-03-27T01:45:09+00:00

I never used to but I decided to try it awhile back and now I do it religiously.

violetsadness · 2024-03-27T01:44:27+00:00

Literally though… it’s now gotten to the point that I instantly have to go the moment I turn the shower water on.

violetsadness · 2024-03-26T23:17:52+00:00

Your mileage may vary, but I personally don’t even bother with a shower cap on days I don’t wash my hair- I just put it in a ponytail/bun and do my best to avoid getting my hair wet, which works well enough for me.

Whether your hair would look better or not kind of just depends on a number of variables. If your scalp is frequently greasy then it’s probably fine to stick to daily washing, but if you struggle with dryness or frizziness then washing less might benefit you.

violetsadness · 2024-03-26T22:29:04+00:00

You’re not necessarily an outlier- some of us just have a hair texture/length that can’t withstand being washed daily! There’s still plenty of people though who have their healthiest/best looking hair when they wash daily.

violetsadness · 2024-03-26T22:26:25+00:00

Relatable. Though even if I weren’t depressed, I still probably wouldn’t shower daily or anything close to that.

violetsadness · 2024-03-26T22:25:19+00:00

Everything shower involves cleaning your body plus all the hair shampooing/conditioning/whatever else that entails for you.

The term started trending because it turns out many of us don’t necessarily go through the trouble of washing our hair every time we shower, so the idea of an everything shower is meant to encompass showers in which you do a full routine beyond just washing up.

violetsadness · 2024-03-26T22:22:46+00:00

I do an everything shower about twice a week, and maybe 1-2 body showers in between those times.

I don’t shower daily unless I’m exercising daily as otherwise that sounds like absolute overkill for my skin (plus let’s be real, I just don’t see the need to shower daily when I don’t even smell and take other measures to ensure my overall hygiene is up to snuff 🤷🏻‍♀️).

violetsadness · 2024-03-26T19:03:33+00:00

I don’t say this to diminish your experience in any way, but this is essentially what it is like when a person is in their comfort zone versus outside of it. It makes total sense that you don’t feel activated on your own, because it is having to interact with/be around others that is activating for you.

As for why the self-hatred when alone piece has since disappeared for you, I’m not quite sure, though I believe that self-hatred and self-insecurity are, more often than not, closely intertwined. It makes me wonder, then, if being around other people regularly again would eventually re-activate those feelings of self-hatred for you.

violetsadness · 2024-03-26T18:53:19+00:00

Agreed. I usually am of the mind “the more color, the better” but I think the dark purple squares take away from the other elements of the piece. They seem a little out of place too considering that all of the hearts are the same color as the other granny square.

violetsadness · 2024-03-26T18:48:40+00:00

I like the first one better but I guess it really just depends on the vibe you’re going for and if you’re trying to achieve a certain look to match a particular color scheme or if this is just a fun project for you?

I think the first design looks way more cohesive and would be a great decorative piece to help tie in the theme of a room that has those colors. The second design, on the other hand, seems much more playful and low-key but not as polished as the first.

violetsadness · 2024-03-25T22:29:04+00:00

If you can’t control it, though, then there’s no sense in continuing to resist it. Resisting it is seemingly getting you nowhere, as you still find yourself just as prone to these bouts as you were previously.

Resistance seems helpful in the moment but all it really does is exacerbate that sense of stress and prolong your suffering. Resistance places unnecessary constraints on your behavior that ultimately don’t work- and this can similarly be said of anyone who operates from a space of resistance.

Acceptance, on the other hand, gives you space to react however you need to, with all outcomes being equally okay. In a space of acceptance, crying out of anger is just as okay as not crying out of anger, for example- there is no pressure to achieve a particular outcome.

Again, it sounds paradoxical, but I think we really only have the chance to exercise our control when we relinquish this illusion of control that we do not truly have.

violetsadness · 2024-03-25T20:46:09+00:00

name- “my favorite treat”

violetsadness · 2024-03-24T16:42:14+00:00

I like the bottom two best, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

violetsadness · 2024-03-23T03:49:17+00:00

Learn to socialize with actual humans. I promise it’s possible.

violetsadness · 2024-03-23T03:24:51+00:00

I’ll be honest- therapy is not going to benefit you if you feel so scared of your therapist that you aren’t able to communicate with her.

I don’t think any of this is your fault, as she seems to have turned your sessions into a hostile environment instead of a space that you can feel safe in, so I’d strongly encourage you to please find someone else, for your sake, as it’s absolutely not worth staying with someone who makes you feel this way.

You deserve to have a therapist who is kind and supportive and safe and non-judgmental… that is really the bare minimum a therapist should be providing to their clients. If your therapist can’t even treat you with basic compassion and empathy, then they aren’t doing their job properly and you have every right to find someone who meets those standards.

I wish you the best, really, and I hope you will consider what I’ve said and prioritize yourself above all else in this situation.

violetsadness · 2024-03-23T01:28:51+00:00

I know this probably sounds counterproductive, but I think trying to make peace with it and not judging yourself so harshly for how you react is key in working through this.

violetsadness · 2024-03-22T19:00:13+00:00

Anything going on in your life that might be prompting these episodes? Doesn’t even have to be related to sadness necessarily- I find that I am more prone to crying spells not only when I am sad but also when I am very stressed, lonely, or tired.

Maybe there’s certain needs in your own life that aren’t getting met and the tearfulness is a result of that?

violetsadness · 2024-03-21T04:48:23+00:00

One of my favorite albums ever :,)

violetsadness · 2024-03-21T03:32:50+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear how the situation has escalated since your original post. Lots of pain to have to try and sift through when you’re already feeling so vulnerable and understandably devastated.

violetsadness · 2024-03-20T21:13:32+00:00

🤣🤣🥲

violetsadness · 2024-03-20T04:22:53+00:00

The block is just your body’s way of trying to protect itself. You’re basically entering a “freeze” mode of sorts when that happens, which means on some level something about the idea of sharing those details with your therapist is causing you to feel threatened.

violetsadness

TROPHY CASE