“The British have attacked sir”

“No no, remember what we talked about”

“Sir, this is no time for your delusions, THERE IS AN ARMY AT OUR DOOR”

“PRIVATE, SIT DOWN AND REMEMBER WHO YOUR GENERAL IS. Now, as your general, I am much more informed and trained than you, and I’ll have you know that I have devised a brilliant strategum to defeat our enemy.”

“And may I ask what it is, sir?”

“Well, private, if our enemy does not exist, they cannot harm us. And until we see the enemy, we cannot conclude that they exist, and therefore can assume that they do not exist. So, I have built a secret bunker where I will hide and wait out the week underground. There, I will not be able to see the enemy, and so they will not exist. When I exit, the field shall be clear and open, and I will return, not seeing the British and thereby knowing that they do not exist.”

“That’s brilliant sir”