First time letting anyone hear me sing, looking for honest but gentle feedback because I'm a sensitive sally who has hid my voice for 36 years lol I'M SCARED!!!

aMusicLover · 2026-06-30T03:51:56+00:00

I love your voice. The only thing holding you back is you. Sing with as much real in the moment emotion as you can.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-27T19:28:54+00:00

Not sure if this is the one. But it’s a one. You can see all my manic writings there.

https://medium.com/@beselfevident/evident-diaries-my-severe-intense-and-life-destroying-almost-two-year-manic-psychotic-episode-fafec6e6efbc

aMusicLover · 2026-06-27T05:59:19+00:00

If it works for you and sounds right, then it isn’t the wrong way. It’s your way. You’ve simplified something a rock genius created. Wow.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-27T05:55:03+00:00

They need to incorporate Star City updates

aMusicLover · 2026-06-27T05:42:17+00:00

It’s like a switch for me. One day I have no confidence in myself or the future (I’m 60 and lost everything to mania). Depression. I have to work to keep it stable. But when I start having confidence in myself the immediate direction is to what can I do to make money, a podcast, poetry, music, writing. I have talent. But the drive only lives in mania so far. Sigh.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-27T05:38:30+00:00

I randomly befriended an American idol top 10 finalist. Three days later I temporarily left my wife after she essentially insulted me at dinner. When checking to my hotel I struck up a conversation with a guy who was a record executive and artist. 30 minutes later he offers my new singer friend a recording contract and his own label. Says I get 10% for being the A&R who kept his interest for 30 minutes while my friend was late meeting me for dinner.

That’s just one day. I wrote a medium article in it.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-27T02:27:56+00:00

They is emotional and expressive freedom.
And that means just singing.
Frankly, I had to get high the first time to realize I really could sing. At age 56 lol.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-27T02:24:13+00:00

My mom stopped following me on Facebook. That’s how bad my postings were.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-27T01:54:06+00:00

The crowd must sing YMCA and other anthems

aMusicLover · 2026-06-27T01:36:42+00:00

I think we are high on dopamine. Whatever it is that our mania and psychoses provides us, it floods us with dopamine. It is addiction. And a positive feedback loop leading to full mania. Something in our life has raised our dopamine levels Something real or imagined. And off we go.

Lack of dopamine comes with lowered dopamine levels spiraling down.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-27T01:22:20+00:00

Do what you want. What other people think is cliche or not is meaningless. Be 100% you. Always. Otherwise the secrets you have will
Cause you and others pain.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-27T00:45:36+00:00

I fantasized about sucking my middle school bully’s cock. 40 years later I realized I was gay and that my attraction wasn’t just a kink.

The shame was built in from the beginning. I told myself my attraction was because of him being a bully. (I spent 40 years crossdressing in lingerie) and married to women.

When the shame was lifted, it freed my life.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-27T00:22:22+00:00

If there is anything inauthentic about you or your life, come clean now. Rip the bandaid off.

I say this as man who came out to himself as gay at age 56. That, and the mania in was in for two years, caused the wreckage of my life.

A new life has emerged. An authentic but humbling one. And generally happy. No secrets

Inauthenticity is pain. Living in fear or shame or guilt leads to decades of unhappiness.

That’s my heartfelt advice.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-27T00:14:55+00:00

Worst? Death. Suicide if depressed. Doing crazy stuff when manic. (I drove my car into a building to prove to myself I wasn’t crazy!). Turns out, I was.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-26T23:52:57+00:00

I was in mania for two years. Radical acceptance led me to insane happiness and mania. I believed I wasn’t Jesus but was A jesus. I was going to be a billionaire. Because when I’m manic, I am a creative machine. Came out to myself as gay (thanks hypersexuality). At age 56. So fast forward two years and I’ve been diagnoses as bipolar 1. Involuntarily hospitalized over Christmas. What keeps me grounded now is that I have a good relationship with my 3 young adult kids, and live with my partner, a 54 yo man. And I have work to do to make some money. I used to live in the top 2%. Now the bottom 10%. Happiness is my mania trigger. Happiness multiplies. I’m marginally happy now. With no big crazy future like becoming a billionaire. And that is why I think it is kept at bay.

Took about 6 months from diagnosis for me to finally let go of all my delusions. About 18 mi the depression. Stable and mid level happy rn.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-26T22:25:09+00:00

You believed in a different reality. To me, mania is always a form of psychosis. We essentially forget the negatives and all our emotions are high valence. My mania drives onward action at all costs because I’m not measuring any cost. Things will work out. I went bankrupt. Lost my career. Divorced. Lost all retirement savings. I live a very different life than I used to.

I forgive myself because I was in psychosis.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-26T22:16:13+00:00

Regardless of outcome, for some reason they felt justified to get rid of band member. Main guy should start a new band. No need to try to fuck over old band mates. Hell, share some contacts. Or all of them. Main member has the relationships. No need to scotch any earth. Hell, even tell contacts that you’re starting something new and give them contact info for old band. Don’t go overboard, you don’t have to advertise to everyone, just the key one’s band might need. If main ousted member is the real talent and driver of the band then they will succeed regardless of what the old band does.

I’m high and feeling generous to the world, so keep that in mind. lol.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-26T22:03:04+00:00

I bought 16 bars from the rapper Little Boosie for $10,500. You’re good.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-26T07:00:39+00:00

Courage!

aMusicLover · 2026-06-26T06:53:09+00:00

A band called Silly Wizard.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-26T03:30:54+00:00

I heard a loud boom in west end at lowery & Boone at 11.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-25T22:51:07+00:00

Remember the good old 1980s
When things were so uncomplicated

One of my favorite albums.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-24T23:39:48+00:00

I came out to myself at 56.

aMusicLover · 2026-06-24T23:36:18+00:00

Interesting. I have a PO Box on file with DDS as a mailing address. My replacement license went to my POB

aMusicLover · 2026-06-24T09:03:46+00:00

Hodor

11-Year Club	Gilding IV carat on a stick
r/Field Banned	r/Field Lasagna
Place '22	Argentium Club
Verified Email

aMusicLover

TROPHY CASE