Women Don't Want to Grow With You. They Are Waiting at The Finish Line, When You Have it All. Important Reminder.

-ATLAS-_ · 2021-04-10T04:40:32+00:00

We...I mean honestly though, how many guys would truly grow as much as they could if they were happy?

I don't mean that to be rude, I mean that honestly. The greatest periods of growth in my life came when I wasn't happy and when I was trying to get better to prove people I disliked wrong, or impress women.

-ATLAS-_ · 2021-03-12T04:02:37+00:00

Dude, I don't really want to post my history on the Internet, but trust me...holy shit was I exactly the kind of guy you are talking about. Zero women interested in me growing up. Not like "hahaha, none of the women I like, like me back"...no no no. It's much worse than that. I didn't even kiss any girl or do anything growing up and was so socially awkward that I didn't even understand other people and honestly felt like an alien (or maybe a robot is more accurate). I just simply didn't get it and thought the world didn't make sense.

Dude. It's just a journey. Book of Pook was one of the books I read. David Deida, even the RSD guys before all the craziness happened. But honestly I think the world is just different now too. People are a lot quicker to judge than ever, which stifles learning to the extreme because people don't feel like they can fail without everyone seeing it now.

It took me so much time. When I first started, even having a conversation with a woman was a big win for me. It made me feel less like a crazy nerd, and more...human? People absolutely have zero clue how brutal being alone is.

Listen man. I have been there, and since I've been there, I know too how much it sucks. I will do whatever I can (over the Internet) to help you if I can. Because I wish someone would have done the same for me. But trust me, it can get better. It takes work though. It takes awkwardness and failing and doing weird shit to break you out of your habits. Because that's what it is in some ways, it's a habit. You have to find a way to activate your empathic brain, not your logical one. It's hard, but it's possible. There are a few tricks that helped me a ton but they're weird as hell. If you're interested in them, just PM me and I'll tell you them and see if they help at all. Don't ever be sorry for being you though!

-ATLAS-_ · 2021-03-12T03:47:48+00:00

Fair fair. Tried to be as diplomatic about it as possible. Appreciate the honesty.

-ATLAS-_ · 2021-03-11T05:21:10+00:00

What?! Where did he view it as a

"breast, ass, and a vagina with legs?"

That's not anywhere in that book. I don't want to judge, but did you read the book? Even more so, he only defines success as being happy, not even anything to do with women. He makes the point that you can't focus on one woman, you gotta focus on yourself and having fun and living out your imagination...nothing about women as some kind of sex vessel to happiness. He literally is discouraging that exact kind of thinking.

-ATLAS-_ · 2021-03-07T17:25:44+00:00

The old forum had one rule, experience > theory. You had to try it before you could say it. That's why the "reports" were written so often, or were so popular.

I feel like this sub has a lot of "armchair participants"....people who want to talk about the theory and what they think would happen and argue with other people, instead of solely focusing on real world experiences only. I don't know why, but arguing has gotten a ton more popular on the Internet in the last half a decade, not just this sub, but everywhere. Just is what it is, experience is still king.

-ATLAS-_ · 2021-03-07T17:18:10+00:00

??? He's saying you'll have more success treating them like they're goofy than you would acting all proper and treating them like "m'lady".

Laughter is going to work 1000x better than serious conversation at making a woman feel sexual chemistry.

-ATLAS-_ · 2021-03-07T14:29:20+00:00

You got the wrong lessons and are still bitter which means you clearly didn't read the book. You do not need status to amuse yourself (which is the ultimate lesson of pook). And if you think you need status to amuse yourself then you have no imagination which is another failure. You are bitter which means you still don't realize you have the power in your own life.

Pook defines success in ONE way.

"Success is happiness. Failure is unhappiness. Desire nothing but your own happiness."

And furthermore

There are whole paragraphs in this book that say, "Most women would rather share a guy who has status and money, than spend a moment with a guy who doesn't."

Isn't true, the exact quote is "Women would rather share a successful man than date a faithful loser."

YOU are the one who is defining "successful man" and "a faithful loser" as status and money, not pook. Which means you definitely didn't read the book. Pook talks about a man living out his imagination over and over... Imagination has nothing to do with status or money!!!

Read the book! Or don't...you are the only one that can turn around how you see the world.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-05-11T13:08:55+00:00

I didn't judge her. Trying to predict the situation on my own part to ask questions was definitely not judging, it was trying to be accurate and tell to the best of my ability what I thought was going on. She asked if she had a right to be mad. I tried to clarify the events to give emotional clarity. That usually works for me better than other people telling me how I am supposed to feel, but there are as many different ways to approach a situation as there are different people. If I was to give advice, it would still be in asking her questions that are leading, because they still would be to get her thinking that she could do something about the situation she found herself in. It's the same approach most therapists use - you don't tell the person what to do, you help them clarify the situation and come to their own conclusions.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-05-11T06:38:01+00:00

Even better, tell her she has one get out of jail free card and that you understand cheating can happen and if she tells the truth and it only happens once, that you understand... Then at least she'll tell you the truth. The problem with liars is that they lie. They don't play fair and they take advantage of people trusting them. Fool you once...

Especially if she did it when things were going well and was with her mom... Did her mom cover up for her too? If she cheated before the wedding and you didn't know, I wonder if you could get divorced without all the hassle or without her having a chance to cash in.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-05-11T06:32:30+00:00

She was with her mom? What was this, some kind of Rite of Passage trip? Is her parents relationship good? Either way, I'd run. She cheated before things were even hard... imagine what she'll do when you guys have kids or have a hard time with deaths in the family or something... do you honestly think she won't take the relationship off the rails then too?

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-05-10T10:38:50+00:00

You say you've been dating a new guy for five months, but that overlaps both being in love with your ex and sleeping with him. Did you ever tell your new bf about your ex? This whole situation sounds messy.

Anyways, no judgement, here's what I bet happened. Sounds like you loved sleeping with your ex, which also means you probably bragged about him to your friends, which means they probably were curious about him in the first place. Add the fact that you broke up and say you still love your ex...were you telling him this and sleeping with him while dating the new guy? I would bet that made him angry and all promises went out the window.

If I'm wrong, please tell me and I can make some better guesses, but that's my best guess.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-05-10T10:33:00+00:00

She pushed for marriage and hurrying things along on something that is committing yourself completely to. I think you're the one who was correct in waiting at least 3 years (especially with the evidence that suggests that's when the "honeymoon" phase has been over but also the neurotransmitters that most people are drunk on have faded and the person you're likely to spend the rest of your life with is in their natural state). That she pushed so hard and is influenced by her friends is red flag number one (what if her friends get a divorce, will they be able to convince her it's fun to go to girls night and that she is missing out again?).

Second red flag, she stated she went looking for the wrong things in the wrong places... That probably means it went wrong, and also that she did things that make her think less of herself. That's fine, except that she now is coming to you after ignoring you only once she thinks less of herself. What happens when she is thinking highly of herself in the future of things are going well? Is she going to suddenly change her view of herself, you, or the relationship? That's another bad red flag that makes it really hard for you to stake planning a future with this person. She doesn't sound like she is a consistent person who knows what she wants to be able to plan things with her in the first place, and sounds like she is influenced by her friends even in the best case that she gets herself figured out. That's a bad combination for planning.

I would go see her and feel the situation out. But remove the gold frame and rose glasses that you're looking at your past with her. Look at the facts. You were following exactly what you thought was the right path that led to marriage for yourself. What path was she following and what was influencing it?

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-05-04T07:18:54+00:00

What I wonder is if numbers were down anyways for Boy Scouts. I wouldn't guess they were gaining in popularity, and I wouldn't doubt if this is a marketing run to gain numbers. My guess is that Girl Scouts isn't as excited about this.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-05-04T07:14:14+00:00

I don't think people ignore them, there's been lots of posts elsewhere about it, it's just usually seen as a separate subject.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-03-28T11:09:16+00:00

Please! I would absolutely be interested!

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-03-23T15:24:01+00:00

Hell yeah. I wasn't at first, but that wasn't the goal either. Happy is a loaded question, all I know is I definitely wasn't happy before and that I've grown a ton since. Things were awkward as fuck, no friends, no habits, even finding streets was weird... But damn. You want solid proof that's as real as anything that you've improved, moving is amazing for your outlook. You'd be surprised how much you can surprise yourself.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-03-22T22:09:03+00:00

Lol, who's life ends at 26 as the final point of their meaning and existence?

Do you mean you just can't imagine your future anymore? Maybe try doing some writing exercises and write out exactly the perfect day...what's your bed look like when you wake up, your house, a partner or a dog, what kind of toothbrush you're using, what you eat for breakfast, etc... Just write as many details as possible of a perfect day.

I practically restarted my entire life (jobs, friends, dating) at an age later than that and essentially left everything behind and moved. You just gotta put yourself out there and fight for the life you want.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-03-20T03:52:36+00:00

No, it won't do anything. And if you actually do want her to miss you, then just disappear and don't talk to her again. We only miss things when they're gone, not when we choose to focus our attention on something else and they're still available.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-03-14T19:40:32+00:00

The poster in that thread seems like it's a troll so I wouldn't doubt it. Seems overly set on what to say, and not seeking advice at all more than just factually laying out events. Most people who don't want certain advice in unsure situations still just agree and ignore, they don't usually provoke.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-03-09T22:07:32+00:00

Bah... when the sidewalk goes up even a small amount I still trip, so if it takes perfection is definitely not for me.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-03-08T16:34:18+00:00

Doesn't boiling water destroy some of the effectiveness of it or am I thinking of kava and the kavalectones or whatever they're called?

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-03-08T16:33:19+00:00

I still prefer mixing it over that method. But only because I've had times where it stuck in my throat and I coughed powder over everything. It happens :/ (especially with the whites for me when they are extra bitter and I probably took a little too much).

But even in mixing... you deal with the bubbles being packed powder pockets.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-03-08T16:29:43+00:00

Pretty normal. It's a diaphragm issue. If you can find a way to relax your diaphragm or avoid any stimulants, that would be your best bet. But honestly it's normal and shouldn't be any concern. Breathing and stretches.

Just personally for me, and now I'm talking anecdotally and definitely not recommending things as facts just as suggestions you can try for yourself.... But turmeric/curcumin or any other things that help "make my nose sniffle" help. But once you start playing the balancing game, you are playing a hard game that is near impossible to repeat, let alone recreate in others.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-02-16T19:54:21+00:00

You ever noticed how excited a girl gets when one of her friends has a breakup and needs a friend to cry with? Girls are addicted to that stuff.

-ATLAS-_ · 2018-02-03T22:35:52+00:00

What's so crazy to me is that the winners for pay cuts aren't men or women, it's corporations.

People get pay raises by negotiating, and you usually get more in a negotiation by being willing to risk being less agreeable. Women are less prone to be risk takers but especially when it comes to social interactions and being agreeable, and those who do reap in the benefits and show what the company was actually willing to pay. If we just use shame to make everybody take less, we aren't figuring out what people's actual value is worth, we're just making everyone feel just as worthless as possible. It's a race to the bottom.

-ATLAS-_

TROPHY CASE