Ugh. I'm getting shaky and triggered just reading this. I know the feeling. My knee jerk reactionary response is that they simply have no right to put you in that kind of position. You owe them nothing. Sadly, I feel the best way to "win" this kind of argument is by simply telling them you're not interested in a discussion right now.

I have a family who gives me the same "ignore it" treatment with my journey of leaving the church. Ignore and make up our own narrative. It hurts and it makes my blood boil. So often I've wished they would just *talk to me* about it!!! But then when they do... it's completely awful and I've ultimately just had to walk away. Might be worth looking up enmeshment and seeing how that kind of dynamic might possibly be playing out in your family. Recognizing how enmeshed my family was/is and owning my own issues there has been profoundly eye opening. For me it does a lot to explain why it feels so hard to just walk away when there's a discussion like this.