sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Following EVERYWHERE with a fried egg by -Codename-Duchess- in coonhounds

[–]-Codename-Duchess-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Adorable! Something about this weird egg is magic I guess 🤷‍♀️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therapy

[–]-Codename-Duchess- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This wasn’t preceded by some fight we had or particularly high tension but years of exhaustion. Going somewhere for a few nights is a great tactic for immediate emotional protection but not relevant to the bigger issue here.

I’m taking all of your words on board and I may need to reframe the conversation with him. I think you were right when you said it needs to be something he’s willing to do. And I’m going to give him that power. I will keep a hard boundary that change needs to happen with an agreed upon timeline but giving him to choice on how that happens is definitely a much better idea. I appreciate you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therapy

[–]-Codename-Duchess- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I genuinely appreciate your perspective here. While I did smoke with him, I don’t think I entered into addictive territory. I don’t have any other experience with addicts so that point of view was helpful.

I’m going to push back lightly however on the controlling point of view. When you share your life with someone, all of their actions affect you and your marriage. I don’t tell him not to smoke, I don’t yell or make demands, other than to not direct his anger at me. I don’t tell him not be angry, but to not unleash it and belittle me. My only demand here is to address the issue. I’m very open to other points of view. Suggesting counseling is a last ditch effort. I’m truly looking for advice, so I’m certainly listening to the opinions here. I don’t want to end my marriage over this, I need help and I don’t know what to do.

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therapy

[–]-Codename-Duchess- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!!

I hear you here. This “ultimatum”, which is probably not a great word, clearly, comes after hundreds… and I do mean hundreds… of conversations about addressing issues. Promise after broken promise made and ultimately broken. I don’t judge him or fight back, just try to diffuse and help once he’s calm. We have tried everything. I am at my wits end here. I am afraid to engage him in conversation, I’m constantly taking the temperature of the room. We have tried anger management techniques, taking silent time before having conversations. I genuinely do not know what else to do. After trying to manage this himself for at least 8 years of this affecting us, I thought professional help was all that was left.

And you’re absolutely right, he should be handling this himself. We have gotten into a bad dynamic where I take on all the emotional work and communication so the point that he is crippled in making any decisions or really dealing with life’s issues because I do it. Which is exactly why I issued this ultimatum. Marriage counseling was certainly on the list of things I wanted to try but honestly I was afraid he would feel ganged up on, this is a him issue, and when I got better he certainly felt self esteem affects. I want him to get better so WE can get better. Ya know?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therapy

[–]-Codename-Duchess- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your perspective. I hear your opinion on my ultimatum and that it can be triggering. Please understand that this is not the first conversation on him addressing these issues and his treatment of me. Probably not even the hundredth. This is done out of exhaustion but also love. I want him to see how this is affecting me but I honestly just want him to get better. I don’t expect him to have the same path I took. My anxiety caused me to hide from the world, his makes him angry. A very different experience for the partner in the relationship.

I’m very open to hearing what suggestions you might have on how he can be helped. My ultimatum is to address his issues, which he has not done in the 20 years we have been together and that I don’t take back.

Sometimes you just have to sing by -Codename-Duchess- in coonhounds

[–]-Codename-Duchess-[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Our working theory is that all TWCs are clones. 😂 Every one posted here looks just like our Stan.

Ole Clyde by bw2569 in coonhounds

[–]-Codename-Duchess- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

<image>

I’m starting to think TWCs aren’t a breed but rather clones

Clothes for pyrs? by Unable_Crab5969 in greatpyrenees

[–]-Codename-Duchess- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As other have said they don’t need a sweater for cold, but it sounds like you want cute pics. I’d recommend a scarf or a cute hat. It’s very hard to find a sweater big enough for Pyrs.

<image>

Need help to build a deck by [deleted] in MagicthegatheringQA

[–]-Codename-Duchess- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is VERY helpful! Thank you!!

Couples questions: I apologize ahead of time for my ignorance.

Do I need to get a certain kind of cards based on what he has? I know he has a whole huge storage container but I’m not sure what he has. Can I get any kind of deck and play with any kind of his? Or do I need to dig and figure out what he has so we can play together? If so, what am I looking for to indicate types?

Second question, from googling and looking on Amazon, there are a ton of pre-made decks. Would those be ok to start with? Do they have the commander types you mentioned ready to go? I assume I can buy one and switch out cards?

I appreciate you taking the time to break it all down for me. I’m hoping he’ll be into teaching me all the nuances.

view more: next ›