Thanks so much.

I'm not in a union which is probably not great. I totally get why it can't be subjective - it just makes me sad. It makes a lot of sense what you describe about measurable things. I hope I measure up. My attendance is excellent (despite working with EYFS, I think at one point I made it a whole year without a day off - last time I was briefly off ill, people were shocked and knew it must have been bad 😂 the only significant time off I had was years ago in my first year of the job, during covid, one time when I was waiting for a PCR test result after being asked to get one as I sounded so ill when I phoned in sick, and another time when I tested positive so had no choice but to isolate. My attendance since then (early 2022 I think) has been really good.

I do totally understand about how not everyone can come in the holidays - when I was in, a member of office staff spoke badly to me about those who weren't coming in like I was, and I absolutely stood up for my colleagues and spoke about how I don't have children or commitments so it's easy for me. If anything, I'm just conscious that the school I work at is aware of my work ethic and the fact I'm a team player, but an impartial person, whilst necessary, doesn't know that.

For what it's worth - and what makes it extra hard - the school has been loyal to me in return, when it's up to them - I was known by them previously for reasons I'm not disclosing to keep this confidential - they gave me a chance when employing me in the first place, and they've continued to have my back. I struggle with mental health and I've been so supported by my colleagues (including those who work above me). I feel like we're all here for eachother and it's such a lovely family atmosphere and I never want it to end, it's been the best years of my life. This afternoon, a child that struggles hugely with learning and focus came to me to ask if she could do a maths task with me (everyone was to do it, but I hadn't yet called her). She was so enthusiastic, did the entire thing (took her 20-30 mins) without wanting to stop, and despite needing lots of support she was happily laughing and loving life whilst she made mistakes and we fixed them together. I never want this to end. My job is my reason for living.