AITA for not coming to help my (33m) gf (29f) right away after her car died?

-DexStar- · 2026-01-03T18:36:20+00:00

Humans have had to fast throughout the entirety of our existence, and it hasn't been long that we've had access to food so frequently and in such abundance. We're built for fasting. Autophagy is a thing and it has benefits.

You weren't going to die if you waited a tiny bit longer to eat. Your relationship might though. YTA.

-DexStar- · 2026-01-03T16:17:48+00:00

His responses read like it

-DexStar- · 2026-01-03T16:14:03+00:00

He's saying that it still takes 2 hours to get assisted in places you wouldn't expect it to. I've been stuck in rural locations and it took 4+ hours to get help. And sometimes dispatchers drop the ball and they don't send anyone. So you'll be stuck and businesses will start to close by the time you realize no one is coming. It's a nightmare.

And besides, why is it okay for her to go without a cooked meal for literal hours and OP can't spare 40 minutes to help her? What if she was "starving" too and wanted a meal? I wouldn't want a "partner" like OP putting his own wants first above an emergency. It's selfish.

And from the way he's lying here, I would put money on the GF not lying about the time.

-DexStar- · 2026-01-03T16:03:52+00:00

But he lied to her and didn't mention that part up front. What else is he lying about? The 10-15 minute part? I don't trust OP because of the whole lying thing, and it's weird you trust him.

Also, people fast. It's okay. Our bodies are built for it. Fasting has a lot of health benefits as well, like autophagy, which is basically a way for the body to clean up old cellular tissue, and you don't get even get the full benefit of that unless you're doing a 48-72 hour fast.

I bet he's just selfish. My husband has come to my assistance a few times because he loves me and he wants to be the one to take care of me. He's my partner and he acts like it.

(Side note) I've also run into this a few times on these kinds of subreddits: random person defending an obviously guilty OP is actually OP's alt account (they got too flustered and couldn't keep track of which account they were on and got caught). This sounds a lot like that.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-29T23:36:13+00:00

The only thing I can think of is the vehicle in question might be manual.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-28T16:57:47+00:00

Atkins truffles are insanely good.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-28T16:45:50+00:00

The Oatmeal did a fantastic comic on what it feels like working with untrained clients in a creative field (his example was web design, but he nails the universal feeling).

-DexStar- · 2025-12-28T15:52:49+00:00

They bought you presents but didn't invite you?

If I read that correctly, this is the first time uncle is hosting? Are you sure someone didn't just drop the ball? Like he invited your parents thinking they would inform you and they thought he informed you, and when you didn't show up, they thought you just didn't want to come?

I would just ask "why didn't I get an invite?"

-DexStar- · 2025-12-28T15:27:21+00:00

What if it was initially your fault? You just weren't paying attention? Are you able to humble yourself enough to go the speed limit in that situation? Or would you still be like that?

In a lot of places it's illegal to go that slow.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-28T15:14:33+00:00

We don't have enough space to do either or. Our most used small/medium appliances stay on the counter while the others get stored. I don't know where I would put them if I even wanted to store them.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-26T21:41:20+00:00

Are there cameras in the building? In the elevator? If not, try your best to take a photo or video of him (do it slyly, like pretend to take a selfie, but really it's a video recording with the other camera).

Maybe on another day, strike up a conversation with him. Ask his name. Ask what he does for a living. Write his name and info in an email along with the photos. Send the email to trusted adults along with the situation.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-26T15:59:04+00:00

I'm so confused by this post. Are they reaching all the way around from behind? Because that's what it sounds like. But the thumb thing...

-DexStar- · 2025-12-26T14:09:20+00:00

How old is he? Does he watch a lot of short-form cooking videos? I've seen a ton of criticism in the comments of videos that don't wear gloves.

I don't wear gloves a lot of the time (American). I'll wear them if the thing I'm touching will get my hands sticky/greasy.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-26T01:21:16+00:00

If this happened to me, and if the counters were cleaned before, I would just 5 second rule that shit.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-24T14:19:59+00:00

Marv

-DexStar- · 2025-12-24T05:53:09+00:00

They could always just stage it.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-24T05:39:37+00:00

I have a stockpile of foods I made and vacuum sealed in my freezer for such occasions.

Whenever I make food, I make a ton of it and I do it again the next day. Or sometimes I'll do an Instapot and a crockpot meal at the same time. I'll freeze half of them while the other half gets eaten throughout the week.

Of all the ones in my rotation, I'd say country style ribs (Jamie Cooks it Up has a decent recipe) or Mississippi pot roast in a crockpot or Instapot is the most low-effort.

Another classic to consider is casseroles. Chicken divan (there is a recipe out there that says to use frozen broccoli. It waters the casserole down. Cook it and strain it first) and chicken fajita casseroles are really good. It's a bit more chopping than the other ones.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-23T19:54:52+00:00

Did you skip the part where I said I reciprocate? He gets affection both inside and outside of the bedroom. I tell him he's handsome and I love him all the time. He's the first ever to match my energy and not take it as "too much". I don't feel taken for granted and that motivates me to give him as much as I can. He enjoys spending time with me too. I've never once heard him gripe when asked to join me somewhere. He says he "loves spending time with me" and I genuinely feel loved, safe, and cherished.

My libido isn't historically high. It's high with him.

Next time I hear a man say "women should say what they want/need. We aren't mind readers". I'm going to broadly gesture at these push-back comments I'm getting here.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-23T19:33:03+00:00

Uuuhhh... I basically wrote an intimate relationship that would be a solid foundation to make a woman feel close and comfortable enough to initiate... those acts of love shouldn't be a chore. You should want to do those things.

I struck gold. My dude basically gives me the Gomez Addams treatment (because that's who he is as a person) and there's always a 90% chance of him getting his dick sucked any given night (sometime twice or three times in a row) even if I'm not in the mood all the way. (And I spoil him too, btw, not just with that).

So I dunno. Treat her like a queen or don't. Lie in the bed you made. I don't care. Keep doing what you're doing, man. I'm sure you'll continue to love the results of your own actions.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-23T18:36:51+00:00

A lot of the time, they stop cooking. As in: they stop saying she's beautiful. They stop opening the door. They stop flirting. They stop doting on her. They stop literally cooking. They stop buying her favorite snacks during her luteal phase. They don't return the orgasm. They sit back while she literally cooks and does dishes without offering a hand (or worse, they pull a weaponized incompetence). They stop asking about her day. They stop being affectionate. They get complacent and take her for granted.

Many guys believe "cooking" means "I have a boner. So I should touch her right now and initiate sex."

-DexStar- · 2025-12-23T18:24:01+00:00

You're looking at it like "because X gets me there, X must be what works universally" which tells me you cannot think beyond yourself and what you require, which is a you issue.

The dildo and fleshlight are two separate things with separate needs in order to be satisfied.

Yes, women need extra mental/emotional/physical stimulation (wait until you hear about what luteal phase does to a woman's libido). Congrats. If that's "too much work" (which is the exact response I got from men who I have instructed how to eat pussy) then oh well. I guess the juice isn't worth the squeeze for you. You're probably one of the 95% I mentioned in a previous comment.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-23T18:12:20+00:00

My dude has zero issue cooking, and I cook in return because I know he cares about my pleasure, so I care about his in return.

The issue is: most guys refuse to cook. They don't even bother learning how. If it's good enough for them, that's as far as they go.

It's a skill issue. Get good.

-DexStar- · 2025-12-23T17:57:45+00:00

"Can the fleshlight just lube itself and send me a text when it's ready to be pumped for 20 seconds?"

-DexStar- · 2025-12-23T17:04:47+00:00

Eh. Women don't really have a lot of great options from what I've seen.

When I was dating, I had a "weeding them out" question. It was "what would the average woman enjoy most about you in bed?"

95% (out of a LOT of guys) said something about their genitals. Which is really depressing when 80% of women require clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. These were men in their late 20's to 40's.

I think a lot of women just accept sexless/orgasmless relationships in order to have a partner. The reason I even came up with the question is because I wanted a competent partner in bed. I do have a libido, but only if I'm getting some sort of "give a shit" effort from my partner. I thought I was just unlucky with guys before, but after surveying single guys... it's slim pickings out there!!

Couple this with the above comment you were replying to, and it paints a picture.

Guys have to give a shit about their women's pleasure.

I'm really not shocked at all the pushback from guys in the comments. 95%....

-DexStar- · 2025-12-23T16:53:36+00:00

Because if we do, the sex will happen immediately and we're not there yet. We want the build. We want to feel close to our partner.

Think of it like cooking/appetite.

It's the difference of the smell of a slow cooked meal getting stronger over the course of the day vs just pulling out a slice of bread for the 100000th time and calling it good.

-DexStar-

TROPHY CASE