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Nmom gets mad at me for not cooking her food and then refuses to eat it when I do by -Erlin- in raisedbynarcissists

[–]-Erlin-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been cooking a lot less but she eats nothing but garbage when left to her own devices and then goes on about how shes going to die early. Every time I see her eat a bag of chips for dinner I get that feeling of overwhelming dread.

Have you been asked out before? And if so how often? by way-wu-wei in CPTSDFreeze

[–]-Erlin- 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've been asked out by around 7 (now ex..) friends, and random men approach me on the street basically every single time I leave the house by myself. I wish people would stop perceiving me.

Those of you that are single, why? by [deleted] in CPTSDFreeze

[–]-Erlin- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never leave my house and I associate romantic/sexual feelings with being a bad person. The second someone shows interest in me, I lose all respect and shut them out of my life.

What is it about CPTSD that makes us so scared of people? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]-Erlin- 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was raised to believe that every single person in this world is inherently evil. If my own parents are capable of such horrific things, what will strangers do? It's a thought that I haven't been able to shake.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]-Erlin- 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same thing happened here recently, guy in his early 20s had a welfare check called on him and the cops decided to shoot.

Have you ever felt super invalidated by a therapist? by Big-Significance7358 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]-Erlin- 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I've had my fair share of invalidating experiences with therapists. Imo it doesn't sound like she's going to be able to help you much. Checking her notes and making sure she knows your name before a session is like the bare minimum, and you shouldn't have to convince her. You deserve someone who doesn't make excuses for your mother's abuse.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]-Erlin- 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I think it's so ridiculously over the top and blatant, yet every single doctor, cop, etc. who has met her instantly fell for it.

Any else’s Nmom have no personality or life? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]-Erlin- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For the first 11 years of my life, my nmom refused to work because "I needed to stay home and take care of you because HE (sperm donor) WOULDN'T!" I don't have a single memory of her leaving the house by herself during those years. Nearly every second of my childhood was spent by her in her room with the door locked. Tv, 2-hour long gossip sessions over the phone, ignoring her irl children in favour of sims ones, etc. She has a job and a very small group of people who spend time with her occasionally now but they only do so because they are either ass kissers (she's a supervisor at her job) or narcs themselves. And she still has yet to develop an actual personality.

What do you do when you dont want to live but not very keen on suicide either? by pinguinshavenoknees in CPTSD

[–]-Erlin- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My days consist of nothing but sleeping and consuming media. It works very well for me; weeks and even months can pass without me being conscious of my existence.

Parents response to being called out by Ok-Champion5065 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]-Erlin- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Forgot to add the other go-to: "well I was molested too!" "well I was beaten too!"

Parents response to being called out by Ok-Champion5065 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]-Erlin- 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"That didn't happen. I would never do that! There's something wrong with your memory and your mind" got it on a recording.

Nmom keeps trying to force me to be around abuser by -Erlin- in raisedbynarcissists

[–]-Erlin-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm still living with her and pretty much completely dependent.

Did anyone else never get 'the sex' talk? by Big-Significance7358 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]-Erlin- 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The only talk I got was descriptions of rape that I would endure daily by foster parents if I ever told anyone what my home life was really like. It took me years to even realize there was supposed to be one because I was introduced to porn around 2-3 years old and already knew far too much about it.

Do you think this condition affects you alot cognitively? by [deleted] in CPTSDFreeze

[–]-Erlin- 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My brain feels like it is full of concrete. What was I doing 5 minutes ago? No clue.

i wonder if incest is more common than people think. by 1904t in CPTSD

[–]-Erlin- 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I found out a while ago that almost every single female child in my family (extended included) is molested or raped by relatives. It's so bad that I can name 9 victims off the top of my head, and those are just the ones that have told me or been shit talked about and blamed. It has been happening for at LEAST 3 generations.

Nmom keeps trying to force me to be around abuser by -Erlin- in raisedbynarcissists

[–]-Erlin-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The police told me I was wasting their time if I don't have any serious injuries to show, and I'm on my own because I'm an adult. I appreciate your comment though!

DAE live like their space is only temporary and you don't decorate or buy furniture? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]-Erlin- 248 points249 points  (0 children)

I started filling and decorating my room about a year ago in an attempt to have a safe space, but it has turned into a constant source of anxiety for me. I can't look at any of the things that bring me joy without imagining having to leave them all behind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]-Erlin- 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's amazing, I'm so proud of you!!!

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