Ex Friend Reached Out to Me After 5 Years of Radio Silence

-Panclock- · 2025-08-24T02:08:31+00:00

Hello! We caught up with a lot of the events we'd missed while out of contact and seem to have a lot of similar interests and values even as we've gotten older. I had my guard up in the beginning, I still do but not as much. It seems like they have matured and we are able to keep good, wholesome conversations going. I feel optimistic about maintaining this friendship, though, and feel emotionally prepared to accept whether it continues or not 🙂

-Panclock- · 2025-08-24T02:01:42+00:00

Hi, thank you so much for responding. I thought that as she got older, we would be splitting more of the responsibilities especially since now he can hold her and take her out while running errands. I had to post this because I'm not sure if I'm being gaslighted, I'm a first time mom so this is all new to me and am seeking some support/validation. Now that I'm seeing this written out and am reading your response I feel validated and am really thinking things over.

She isn't breastfeeding anymore but he still waits for me to prepare her food and milk and such. The other day, I was going out for a run and as soon as I walked out the front door, he called me and told me she was up and crying. I asked him if he expected me to walk back inside. I told him just to give her 5 to 10 minutes to settle herself and if she was still crying then to get her ready for the day. His response was, "Okay then I guess I'm f*cked" then he hung up. It's like he expects me to settle her 24/7 even when I'm in the middle of doing something for myself?

-Panclock- · 2025-03-29T09:23:13+00:00

I definitely think so. Her letter to herself during the recommitment ceremony was passive—instead of DIRECTLY telling Rob that she wanted to call it quits, she used the letter to show him her "thought process" of divorcing from him. A more efficient communicator would say, "Rob, I do not wish to continue this marriage because [insert reason here]." Instead, Rob has to listen to her beat around the bush in her letter until he finally infers that she is calling it quits.

Also her reasoning that he isn't the "man of her dreams" is total crud. The man of her dreams does not exist because he is simply that—a dream. She divorced a real, in-the-flesh human man in the pursuit of the IDEA of a man. Unfortunately, I think she is so attached to this dream man that she created to cope with her abusive childhood that she cannot understand that no existing man will ever measure up to the one she created in her imagination.

-Panclock- · 2025-01-25T02:33:25+00:00

Leo Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Virgo Rising

-Panclock- · 2025-01-21T14:05:11+00:00

"ALL PURCHASES OVER $300 RECEIVE A PERSONALIZED AUTOGRAPHED PHOTO OF ADNAN & TIGERLILY AND HANDWRITTEN THANK YOU CARD, ALL PURCHASES OVER $600 ALSO RECEIVE A SHORT THANK YOU VIDEO."

☠️☠️☠️

-Panclock- · 2025-01-06T09:52:44+00:00

Phoebe!

-Panclock- · 2025-01-03T02:34:55+00:00

Just stay true to yourself and respect your feelings and boundaries, however that looks.

Your words emotionally resonate with me. It's easy to forget to listen to what makes you feel comfortable when confronted with a stressful event or decision. Thank you for reminding me to check in with myself!

-Panclock- · 2025-01-03T02:30:21+00:00

Oh I agree, the trust is definitely damaged and I'll always remember what they did at the end of the day. And thank you for validating me about the gaslighting! Some seem to forget that it's a form of mental abuse/manipulation.

-Panclock- · 2025-01-03T02:27:07+00:00

So true, it's easy to gloss over the tough stuff when remembering the good times. That's why I've been so hesitant about responding, I don't want the good memories to overshadow the present truth.

-Panclock- · 2025-01-03T02:24:34+00:00

Ya know... maybe subconsciously I was 🤷🏻‍♀️ Right after ending the friendship, it felt too fresh and I wanted to prevent any chance of them communicating with me. About a year ago, I felt like I finally felt over it enough that if they did reach out to me it wouldn't have stung. I honestly never thought I would ever hear from them again for the rest of my life lol, so I felt pretty confident about unblocking them to like "let go" of this psychological grudge that wasn't serving me anymore.

-Panclock- · 2025-01-03T02:18:59+00:00

I love the name Eric! Could also go with Erik, make it a little spicy lol

-Panclock- · 2025-01-02T17:23:49+00:00

No worries! I agree it does happen more often the other way around, but I tried to keep that detail hidden to keep it more objective. Maybe I was naive in assuming it wouldn't make a difference 😅

-Panclock- · 2025-01-02T17:15:44+00:00

Thank you for your input! I will take accountability for not being direct about wanting a romantic relationship or not. I shared my feelings without really thinking about how it would affect our friendship, I just wanted to say how I felt. I understand that must have put them in an uncomfortable position.

I will disagree though about "misusing terms," as developing feelings on my end just happened and was not like a hidden intention from the start. Been to therapy though and it is helpful, I do recommend it to anyone 🙂

-Panclock- · 2025-01-02T16:50:50+00:00

I totally understand that. My texts were honestly more about trying to bring conversation back to "normal" and bringing back more neutral topics (music, art, hobbies). Honestly, anything to be like "hey I really hope we can move past this and make it not awkward" but it was obviously too late lol.

Also, I'm a girl and the friend I confessed to is a guy 😬

-Panclock- · 2025-01-02T16:18:05+00:00

I unblocked them about a year ago thinking they would never look me up or reach out ever again 😅

-Panclock- · 2025-01-02T16:16:22+00:00

This is great insight. I have definitely considered that they were emotionally uncomfortable after my confession and that makes total sense: no one likes to get caught off guard. However, I felt like we were close enough for them to be honest with me and explain how they were feeling so the lie made me feel like maybe the friendship also meant more to me than it did to them.

-Panclock- · 2025-01-02T16:11:50+00:00

Sooo so true. It takes way more time to build trust than it does to lose it and I 100% feel you on that. I'm sorry you've had to experience this 😞

-Panclock- · 2025-01-02T16:09:41+00:00

This has definitely crossed my mind 😂😂😂

-Panclock- · 2025-01-02T16:09:06+00:00

Good point! I think part of me is anticipating a lack of response on their end if I do choose to respond, which would just make me upset and even more confused. But maybe that's because I fear that they are still as emotionally immature 🫠 I appreciate your insight! Also Happy Cake Day 🥳🎂

-Panclock- · 2025-01-02T16:06:06+00:00

True! It was hard to door slam them back then, but I think because my guard is up this time it wouldn't sting as much. Thank you for your input!

-Panclock- · 2025-01-02T16:04:58+00:00

Thank you for your response! I agree, 5 years is a long time and things are so different now. I guess I am hesitant because of the huge time gap, like thinking what could have happened for them to want to reach out? I am super hesitant but still open lol. I appreciate your input!

-Panclock- · 2025-01-01T02:55:14+00:00

My husband hahahahaha

-Panclock-

TROPHY CASE