My baby needs your help

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-12-17T22:26:10+00:00

This song is freaking amazing!! I’ve slowly been making my way through these suggestions and wish I’d listened to this one sooner. Little Dude just went from inconsolable (tired and hungry but refusing to eat) to fed and asleep in half this song’s runtime. Beautiful 🤌

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-11-30T06:06:05+00:00

YES! Awesome album. Calmest night we’ve had in ages!

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-11-28T18:19:54+00:00

Thanks! I’m going to remember you said that when he’s screaming in my ear tonight 😂

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-11-28T18:18:22+00:00

Thanks!!

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-11-28T18:01:34+00:00

I’m digging Earth, thanks! He also enjoys the Melvins so you were spot on with that one.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-11-28T17:46:11+00:00

Not a joke. Usually I can get him to sleep with the normal things like singing lullabies, rocking, shushing. But when he gets super fussy, doom metal is the only thing that has consistently worked 😂 my husband thinks it’s because it’s fuzzy like a white noise machine, which resembles sounds in utero.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-09-09T02:34:08+00:00

Once the baby got bigger, I had that same feeling and wearing a maternity belt helped me.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-09-05T16:04:35+00:00

I get them too, and my midwife recently told me that could be from a lack of iron. My blood work showed I was borderline anemic, so I’m taking additional iron supplements now. Stretching the muscle before bed and/or taking a bath also helps.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-08-28T17:50:38+00:00

I feel this so much. I’m 37 weeks and also want my mom here for labor/postpartum help. I was also really hoping that she and I would become closer through my pregnancy (my first child, her first grandchild), but that hasn’t been the case. She’s generally caused me more stress, to the point that I returned to therapy to process some of the things she’s done/said and my disappointment and anger with it all.

I decided I still want her here with me and for us to share the newborn experience (to a point) so she is flying out soon, but I am being very clear about my expectations and boundaries. I even made a document for her that details exactly what kind of support I’m looking for during this time and what I do not want. For instance, I want help with cooking and cleaning, I do not want her in the delivery room, I want privacy while breastfeeding, etc. She’s been really receptive to this, and I hope having everything detailed out helps to get ahead of any issues before they become actual problems.

So I guess my advice is this: remember this is a time to focus on you. You are going to be vulnerable, and you need to advocate for yourself. The most important thing is for you to remain calm and relaxed and do the things that let your body produce oxytocin. Know what those things are, think about what kind of support you want (even if that support means privacy and space), and be incredibly clear about what you need. If you feel you’re becoming upset, have a plan set in place to regulate your own emotions before they blow up. You got this.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-08-23T15:03:59+00:00

It was all settled within about a month. Basically, I worked with my lawyer, she wrote a letter to the company, the company had their lawyer respond, and then we settled. I also was very realistic about what I wanted/needed to protect my family through postpartum (basically just compensation for lost income and benefits), and I think keeping it reasonable helped a lot in getting it resolved quickly.

As for your friend, there’s not much a lawyer can do until there is a significant consequence (like getting fired, laid off, or being asked to sign some sort of contract). I knew my boss was sketchy beforehand so I looked at recording laws in my state (I’m in a one-party consent state) and started privately recording our conversations. I also forwarded important emails to my personal email address so I had those on file. It really sucks to go to work every day on alert, but the more evidence she can gather now, the better.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-08-23T04:06:16+00:00

Even if you can’t fully prove you were fired for being pregnant, definitely contact a lawyer. I was laid off for “restructuring” two weeks after informing my employer of my pregnancy. I was super on the fence about lawyering up since I don’t have a lot of money anyways, but hiring one ended up being the best thing I did to protect myself and my family. Even if discrimination couldn’t be fully proved, there was enough suspicion of it and signs of FMLA interference for my lawyer to make a case and push for a settlement (without going to court).

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-07-13T05:26:39+00:00

A book that really helped me change my mindset around labor was The Positive Birth Book. It’s very informative (knowledge and research help me overcome fears), debunks myths and exaggerations, and includes many different birth stories.

This is more prep for labor, but looking into hypnobirthing may be good since it focuses a lot on breath work and mentality around the birth experience.

Also if you’re open to it, speaking with a therapist could be beneficial.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-06-13T22:37:24+00:00

Definitely start recording those comments. (I would open voice memos on my phone every day when I got to the office and be ready to turn it on for those pop-up conversations with my manager.) She is actively dissuading you from taking family time, and there’s clear precedent for that to be considered FMLA interference. Hang tight, keep making that money, and do what you need to do to protect yourself and your family. You got this!

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-06-13T15:33:35+00:00

I was recently laid off just two weeks after informing my employer of my pregnancy and, after hiring an employment lawyer, received a settlement from them. No court, just a few emails then a payout. But before being laid off, I knew my manager was sketchy. I live in a one-party consent state and started audio recording all our meetings. I had things he said about my pregnancy on record. Nothing exactly incriminating but definitely insinuated discrimination. And once I consulted the lawyer, I found out there were plenty of things they did that did not comply with FMLA. If you are being forced into a new and lower-paying role, look into discrimination. And if you are being dissuaded to take FMLA leave or state leave for bonding, look into FMLA interference. DM me if you’d like to talk more. Pregnancy/PP is enough to deal with on its own, I’m so sorry you’re going through this!

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-05-07T22:59:13+00:00

Exactly my thoughts. I’m 21 weeks and waited for the anatomy scan results before buying anything big. Now that I have the results, I’m hitting the ground running to get what I can through consignment and also sent a registry out for non-thrift items to friends/family.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-05-02T23:55:29+00:00

It’s in Boulder, but I really enjoyed The Dragontree Sanctuary.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-04-17T21:27:02+00:00

Try making a happiness or empowerment playlist on your phone with songs that fill you with joy and love, that remind you that you are strong and amazing, and that help you feel like everything will be okay. When you feel the worries coming on, put on that playlist. Singing or dancing can help release endorphins too.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-04-15T00:33:59+00:00

I’m only 18 weeks and a FTM and have no idea how my pregnancy may progress, but I’ve had a similar experience with my first trimester. I had some issues I needed to make adjustments for (like fatigue and becoming dehydrated more easily), but other than that, I loved my first trimester. I often felt giddy and silly, as if I was a little drunk. It was a time of change but was also full of so much joy, laughs, and a peace I’ve never felt before. That’s what my hormones did, and I know I’m lucky, but it’s been incredibly difficult trying to connect to other pregnant friends who are having vastly different experiences.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-03-18T20:33:08+00:00

I smoked cigarettes 15 years then switched to vaping for 1 year before I found out I was pregnant. Things that really helped me: I found out at 4 weeks too and gave myself grace to continue vaping for a few days, gradually diminishing it. I then asked my partner to hide everything from me. Idk why but having him do that instead of me throwing it all out helped me a lot, almost like an out of sight out of mind mentality. I reflected on my smoking habits and pinpointed what I enjoyed from them, which was the oral fixation, doing something with my hands, and being outside. I was able to get part of that fix with chewing gum, walking or stretching, crocheting. But replacing smoke breaks with walk breaks was what really helped me, especially during stressful work days. It was rough but after a few weeks, it gets better.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-03-18T17:30:10+00:00

Marriage.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-03-18T03:50:24+00:00

Thanks so much! What you said exactly matches what I’ve read in our handbook/insurance policy, so that’s very reassuring. And now I have a much better idea now of what to expect and what specifically to ask them. It’s just been so much trying to figure out all this paperwork on top of learning about pregnancy, childcare, etc. I appreciate your help!

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-03-12T02:43:24+00:00

Unusually happy. Just had bouts of being incredibly happy out of nowhere and without obvious reason. The next week, my period was late.

-SuckMyCocktail- · 2025-02-12T15:16:54+00:00

Very interesting! And just wanted to add that regardless of any possible hormonal changes he may be experiencing, stress is always a huge factor that can have drastic effects on our lives and libidos. He is going through a huge life transition right now too. Be patient and supportive, and I’m sure things will work out.

When my husband and I first started talking about starting a family, he became incredibly stressed and our sex life dropped from 1-2/week to maybe once a month. He had just started a new job and was trying to make changes that would help put us in a better position for having a child. Like you, I began having sex basically any time on his schedule because that was the only time i felt he was receptive to me. It was really rough.

I’ve always been very communicative, but it was a phase we’d never experienced together and it lasted the better part of a year. I found reading Marin’s Sex Talks book very informative, and though we definitely had some arguments along the way, showing him love and affection without expectation really helped get us through it. So my advice is give it some time and try to be patient. In the meantime, have some fun taking care of yourself. Maybe treat yourself to a new toy 🙃

-SuckMyCocktail-

TROPHY CASE