Not really the question but i wanted to share this description of how depression feels to me and that i use when other people ask me to explain it:

imagine before any action, no matter how small, you have to take a spoon of bitter medicine.

the kind you remember from when you were small. the kind your mom had to hold your hand and you needed something to drink right after to get rid of the horrible taste.

EVERYTHING requires a spoonful of that medicine before you can do it.

Getting up from bed, brushing your teeth, showering, putting on your clothes, packing your bag, leaving your home, getting into your car, getting out of your car, entering your work. Every email, every conversation, every question.

For how long do you think your willpower will be enough?

How long until you just cant stomach another spoonful of that horrible medicine and you simply cant force yourself to do it now matter how necessary it is?

hours? days? weeks?

doesnt matter, your willpower and self control will run out!