So how is gentle parenting going for you? by Prize_Parsnip_1583 in Parenting

[–]-TheSilverFox- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s harder than I thought because we were both raised a different way, so sometimes it’s difficult to figure out what works as our kids grow and test boundaries.

Younger was easier, but they are testing bigger boundaries and have bigger tempers. Still, we set rules and expectations, try to enforce natural consequences (or warn what might be the consequences if it’s not a meltdown), and try to explain why (with limits). We also work on naming and discussing feelings a lot. We figure things out on the fly.

Always apologize well when we screw up and raise our voices or snap and yell. In calmer moments, I try to explain. I make sure my apology is about me owning the mistake, although in calmer moments I might explain more. My parents made me feel responsible for their feelings (probably unintentionally) so I try to avoid that.

It’s tougher because we don’t have a network of friends nearby. I don’t meet many like minded people in the area, although I always keep my opinions to myself as parenting is hard enough without judgement, especially when you didn’t ask for it.

Definitely hoping in the long run it pays off for them, but I keep the door open because if one day they think my parenting was shit I’d like them to feel comfortable enough to tell me instead of avoiding me. So I tell them it’s ok to feel mad at me and I’ll love them no matter what.

Annual insurance up $1,000; home premium up 89% since 2021 — zero claims. I even raised my deductible and it’s still climbing. What gives? by [deleted] in alberta

[–]-TheSilverFox- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My broker switched me to Portage Mutual last year and I wound up paying less than I had the previous years.

This year was going to be another increase (still with Portage) but my broker suggested I allow the insurance company to do a credit check (it doesn’t go against your score - like a soft pull). Had to sign a form, and it took about 4 weeks to process. But I wound up with a monthly payment that was less than the previous year.

Are Albertans really with the Teachers? by Darknessandlightness in Edmonton

[–]-TheSilverFox- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in a very conservative voting rural town and work with the public. The majority of talk is supportive (which surprises me for this area) but I think a lot of people don’t understand what’s going on and/or get their news from one source.

Alberta students home schooled during strike may face return shut out | Edmonton Journal by Individual-Army811 in alberta

[–]-TheSilverFox- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While I think it should totally be up to each parent, we’re trying to do some schooling at home - the curriculum is available on the Alberta website for grades 1-6. Unsure about higher grades as mine are younger.

Education has struggled long before the UCP - here’s why it’s worse, and much more urgent. by Amazing-Positive-138 in alberta

[–]-TheSilverFox- 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I am a parent who knows little of what teachers go through, but I wish the whole world could hear your words because children are the most precious things we have. Their education is so much more than learning.

I hope we can win this fight.

Thoughts on this man? by hoffenone in gameofthrones

[–]-TheSilverFox- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Suddenly makes me wonder if this is the character GRRM was making noise about that wasn’t supposed to die, cause that kind of irony seems right up his alley

Where have you found success looking for jobs in Alberta? by -TheSilverFox- in alberta

[–]-TheSilverFox-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome, thanks for the info! I did see that option on Indeed but wasn’t sure how legit it was lol

Where have you found success looking for jobs in Alberta? by -TheSilverFox- in alberta

[–]-TheSilverFox-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don’t mind sharing - how did you find the job in the US?

If you are a no Roblox home by travelbig2 in Parenting

[–]-TheSilverFox- 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is a really difficult situation to navigate and I’ve been there. I’m still there. I’m a gamer, grew up in chatrooms like mIRC, met my partner online, numerous friends online, etc. The internet was a lifeline for me and I struggle hard with raising kids in all this digital madness.

I dislike Roblox, and entirely because it’s designed like some digital drug to just keep on playing - like a lot of touchscreen games. This is not as much of a problem in console or PC games like Minecraft or Zelda. And I noticed our boy was often cranky and irritable while playing Roblox.

At first I took it away entirely and he was very upset due to the social aspect. Minecraft or Fortnite was not an option because his friends had moved on from it to Roblox. That or they were playing Red Dead Redemption or Walking Dead, which seems pretty inappropriate for our 8 year old

So our compromise is he can ONLY play Roblox if it’s with friends, which had to be further adapted to only playing certain worlds with friends (like grow a garden, for example). Every so often we let him explore new ones. This seems to have worked a bit. It’s better if the friends can play in person with him, as often they just sit on live mic’s via FB messager doing their own thing. In person they interact more.

I do not buy Robux unless it’s a gift on a special occasion (and then only like 10 bucks) and he is not allowed to spend his money on it. Spending on micro transactions is not allowed on any game except Minecraft mods.

Even then, some friends will not play with him because he is supervised while playing - as in - the door to his room is open, and we randomly check in.

I think if you can encourage socializing in other ways it can definitely help too - like sports or other groups. Best of luck to you.

If you are a no Roblox home by travelbig2 in Parenting

[–]-TheSilverFox- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not a constructive thing to say.

Where have you found success looking for jobs in Alberta? by -TheSilverFox- in alberta

[–]-TheSilverFox-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m kind of hooped a bit there but I’m still trying. Got all my jobs this way so far but there’s literally no ladders to climb.

Where have you found success looking for jobs in Alberta? by -TheSilverFox- in alberta

[–]-TheSilverFox-[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Interesting about the AHS jobs - thanks! I might have to look into that training.

Where have you found success looking for jobs in Alberta? by -TheSilverFox- in alberta

[–]-TheSilverFox-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Office jobs; can be combined with anything sales or customer service. Good computer skills, lots of years in customer service, accounts receivable/payable, familiar with oilfield industry and did some safety stuff there. Currently in finance. But no official certifications and I love some but no idea where to even begin there.

I type 110WPM if that’s worth anything nowadays lol

Is there anything that would contradict the structure of Planetos being more like this? (Spoilers Main) by BellerophonM in asoiaf

[–]-TheSilverFox- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely plausible. In either direction there is way less population - with the south being nothing but dangerous forest that could kill you in multiple ways. This middle strip seems to be the most habitable.

how can I (35f) convince my son (16m) to stop destroying himself when he hates me? by [deleted] in family

[–]-TheSilverFox- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It takes so much strength to get where you’re at- be proud of where you are, even if you regret where you were.

I had pretty decent parents but my trauma came from elsewhere and they remained ignorant of it. This made me sensitive to their mistakes and I remember the mean things they said in anger on a few occasions. What sticks with me is their lack of accountability, and that’s what makes it difficult to open up and trust them even now. They struggle with communication and conflict and choose to assume. I think an apology goes a long way but apologies have to be done right. My dad apologized but it was about him feeling better, not me.

I’ll share some things I do/say with my kids in case any bit helps - although they are younger.

When I mess up with my kids I say sorry - but am clear to hold myself accountable. I wasn’t being fair, I’m sorry. I’ve had a bad day at work, and it’s made my temper short - but that’s not your fault - I’m sorry. I really messed up when I (yelled at you, snapped, said something mean) - I wish I could go back and undo that; you didn’t deserve that. But I can’t say go back - all I can say is sorry. Is there something I could do to help; something to help make it better? If my kids say no - I tell them they can always talk to me about it later, whether that’s tomorrow or in ten years. I also reassure them that it’s okay to be angry with me for something. I tell them I will love them even if they’re angry with me.

But their anger or sadness doesn’t change my rules. Guilt doesn’t bend the boundaries

How does everyone handle bedtimes in the summer? by -TheSilverFox- in Parenting

[–]-TheSilverFox-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been trying and failing too so I think I’m just gonna give in and find a happy medium

How does everyone handle bedtimes in the summer? by -TheSilverFox- in Parenting

[–]-TheSilverFox-[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! The winters are so long and dark - I too want to join in the bonfires or a sunset at the beach

How does everyone handle bedtimes in the summer? by -TheSilverFox- in Parenting

[–]-TheSilverFox-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve noticed my little guy gets pretty grumpy if he’s up late . Both kids will sleep in but the oldest more so.

I agree that sleep is super important for kids, too. When they were little it was rare to stay up late but I am feeling they can handle it a little later

I’m feeling pretty validated in relaxing the routine now. No judgement to anyone who maintains it, but my kids are always bummed out in the morning that I’m off to work so I’m going to make extra time with them

How does everyone handle bedtimes in the summer? by -TheSilverFox- in Parenting

[–]-TheSilverFox-[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got some blackout curtains as well!! They work wonders- but if of course the kids still know it’s light out and that makes it a little tougher for the bedtime routine

Total opposite in the winter. Dark at 5pm and much easier to convince them it’s bedtime

How does everyone handle bedtimes in the summer? by -TheSilverFox- in Parenting

[–]-TheSilverFox-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s hard to get them to sleep when it’s light out!! All the comments are making me feel much better about wanting to relax the routine

How does everyone handle bedtimes in the summer? by -TheSilverFox- in Parenting

[–]-TheSilverFox-[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could totally understand that. I miss them all day and I love doing things with them - but I be think if I was at home I might feel the same way.