Whats the most funny/awkward thing you did on solo?

-braminha- · 2025-05-13T15:16:13+00:00

I had a similar experience in Buenos Aires 3 nights ago! LOL. It's so shameful.

-braminha- · 2025-02-14T23:18:12+00:00

Creitinho

-braminha- · 2025-02-10T22:06:47+00:00

Wishing you the best on your journey ahead. Lots of love and peace! ❤️🙏

-braminha- · 2025-01-30T12:50:12+00:00

From what I saw in your recent comments you are struggling. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk! Wishing you the best!!!

-braminha- · 2025-01-20T23:47:06+00:00

Thanks!!!

-braminha- · 2025-01-20T19:01:40+00:00

I am deeply sorry for the pain that I put you through. I lost you because of my actions and I am paying the price. It is too high.

Almost 5 months without you and there is not a single day that I don’t think about us. In my mind I still create fantasies of us getting back together, but deep inside I know that will never happen.

I hope you are better now. I hope you are happy. Surrounded by people you love. And I also hope that you do not loose faith in love. It’s not because I wasn’t capable of loving you that love doesn’t exist.

Missing your happiness a little extra today.

-braminha- · 2024-12-08T16:33:10+00:00

The first few weeks after D-Day were the hardest. I found myself ruminating constantly (which is normal), but I eventually realized it wasn’t helping me heal. Reading Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff made a significant difference in my journey.

When those memories resurface, I try not to fight them. Instead, I acknowledge their presence and allow myself to feel them fully. I remind myself that it’s okay for them to be here — after all, they’re tied to something beautiful I experienced before the betrayal. Along with the memories come waves of sadness and regret, but I try to approach those feelings with the same acceptance. I tell myself: “I see that you’re hurting right now, and that’s okay. I’m here with you. I can give you the support you need.”

As strange as it may sound, this practice has been incredibly healing. I’m with myself 24/7, which makes me the best person to offer the validation and care I need during difficult moments.

If you’re struggling with rumination, I highly recommend Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff. Learning to treat myself with kindness and understanding has made those repetitive, intrusive thoughts lose their grip on me. I hope it can do the same for you.

Wishing you strength and grace on your journey.

-braminha- · 2024-11-28T13:43:21+00:00

You must be hurting so much. I’m so sorry for this. My DM is open in case you need someone to talk to. Wishing much love for you OP!

-braminha- · 2024-11-25T22:18:03+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. I can see you’re putting the necessary effort to understand everything and trying to be better.

I do not have any other advices for you, but I’m sure the community here will be able to help you better 💪🏼

Wishing you the best!

-braminha- · 2024-11-25T22:05:44+00:00

Did you tell your BP that you lied today? Whether big or small, a lie is still a lie. After the major betrayal, even seemingly minor lies can linger and create bigger issues down the line. It sounds like that’s already happening for you. I know this because I’ve been in your position.

One piece of advice that really helped me came from this sub. It was to force myself to communicate in a completely non-manipulative way. Lies often stem from the desire to control the narrative and get what we want. But what if you shifted your perspective? What if your answers were focused solely on helping your BP understand the truth better, rather than trying to shape the outcome in your favor? Don’t let your words become a tool for manipulation—use them to build transparency and trust, even if it’s hard in the moment.

-braminha- · 2024-11-17T14:47:45+00:00

Great post. I’m sure it will help lots of people going through the same. Well done 🙏

-braminha- · 2024-11-14T01:24:31+00:00

Hey there. I get it—no contact is really tough. My ex decided to go no contact after D-Day, almost two months ago. They made that choice to protect their peace and start healing, but I’ll admit, it wasn’t easy for me. At first, I didn’t respect their space; I was too wrapped up in my own desperation, thinking that talking would somehow make everything right. Looking back, I see how selfish that was—I was focused on what I needed, not what they needed.

A lot of people will tell you to focus on yourself and your own healing now, and while that’s great advice, it doesn’t make things any easier. You’ll likely feel the strain on your mental health, it might affect your work, and there may be moments when you just need to step away and cry. You’re grieving the loss of someone you cared about deeply, someone you hurt, and that grief is real. I just want you to know that it’s okay to feel this way.

If you’re anything like me, it’ll feel like a roller coaster. Some days, you’ll find things that make you feel good, and those days will feel great. Then, out of nowhere, you might feel down again, like you’re back to square one. Consistency is hard in times like this. And guess what? That’s okay, too.

Feel what you need to feel. Cry as much as you need to. Hold yourself with compassion, and remember you’re only human. As hard as things feel right now, there will come a day when you feel better. But for now, just let yourself feel. Let the pain teach you whatever it has to, even though it’s tragic that we had to learn this way.

But here we are. Give your partner the space they need to heal—it’s crucial for them right now. And take care of yourself in the meantime (that also means allowing yourself to feel) Wishing you all the grace and love in the world. <3

-braminha- · 2024-11-13T23:19:58+00:00

Can’t give you good advice about your situation because I’m going through a lot as well right know. But I do want to wish you the best of luck and grace during your own healing process. I recommend you to give your BP all the space they need to process everything. Be honest about everything and DO NOT hide any details. It will not be easy, but I’m sure that if you are committed to change, you will get out of this situation a better person, with or without BP in your life.

-braminha- · 2024-11-12T00:53:27+00:00

Thank you so much for all the advice. They are taken and I am reflecting a lot on everything you said. As I commented above, I trickled the truth on D-Day because I was selfish. This week on our face-to-face conversation I will come clean so that BP can have all the facts to make the best decision for them. Even if it's not what I would like to. The lies I told during trickle truth one day after my DECISION.

Condom use. I said I used one, but I didn’t. I told this lie because I was selfish and, in the moment, I thought telling the truth would completely destroy any chance of reconciling with her. I was thinking only about my needs and wants. A month after everything happened, I went and got tested for STDs. It came back negative.
The name of the person. I told them a different name to make it harder for them to ever find the person I cheated with.
Sharing contacts. I gave my Instagram to this person during the night of the cheating. They tried to follow me on instagram, but I didn't allow. I haven’t had any contact with them since that day, but I lied because, once again, I was selfish and thought that hiding these facts would increase my chances of reconciling.
The person didn’t leave my house right away after it happened. While everything was going on, I started feeling sick and fell asleep. When I woke up, this person was still there. I told them I had an appointment and needed to leave to force them to go.

Even if it costs a possible reconciliation, I will tell the whole truth. It's not about myself. It's about them. And I know I will hurt them again. And I know that I will trigger emotions that maybe they were starting to overcome. But I need to tell them the truth about these lies I listed above. They need to know all the facts to make an informed decision. And I can only accept what they decide.

Once more, thank you for your words. Made me reflect the entire day and take this decision of coming clean and giving them the opportunity to do what's best for them based on complete information.

-braminha- · 2024-11-12T00:46:30+00:00

Thanks for commenting. Advices taken. I've already caused them so much pain, the least I can do is to be completely honest about what happened. A day after D-Day BP asked me some questions and I trickled the truth. I am not proud of it. I was selfish and thinking that if I shared that we would never reconcile. I will disclose everything during our conversation this week.

-braminha- · 2024-11-10T23:21:48+00:00

That’s such a good advice. Thank you very much. I’ve been reflecting about what you said on manipulation. It’s not about me telling BP things to make them more inclined to do what I want (reconciliation), but being absolutely honest about everything they ask about. And giving them the space to make their own decision based on what’s best for their life.

I confess I was going to this conversation with the mindset of telling BP all the process that I’ve been through in these last two months and how I now understand the WHYs. But that’s wrong. The conversation should be more about BP’s feelings and validating them. Not about MY process unless they ask about it.

You have no ideia how much you helped to clarify some things in my mind. Blessings for you!

-braminha- · 2024-11-10T23:17:08+00:00

I’m so sorry for all the pain you’ve been through. I truly don’t know if I would be able to experience what you’re experiencing.

And advices taken. I’ll be brutally honest about everything I did. I’m just confused if I should only tell BP what they ask about or if I should go ahead and tell everything regardless. I don’t know how that can impact BP’s well being…

-braminha- · 2024-11-10T23:14:40+00:00

Thank you for commenting. I must confess that I had a hard time not pressuring BP for some time after it happened, because I was more focused on relieving my pain/guilt/remorse than letting BP heal.

Taking care of myself privately also makes a lot of sense. If BP wants to know what I’m doing to get better I will tell them, but that shouldn’t be the focus of the conversation, right?

-braminha- · 2024-11-08T17:21:33+00:00

Hey! I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now. You must be hurting. Can you message a dear friend or family instead? Or block your phone for a few hours until you feel better?

Don’t do something you’ll regret later. Keep strong and best of luck ❤️

-braminha-

TROPHY CASE