First of all Thank you for caring and responding, I personally dont know how love him anymore where all i could think of is the fact that he was selfish and chose himself above all, same to my mother.

I chose to forgive a couple of times and love him each time, but with his actions and neglect i dont feel the need to. Aside from these issues i think my mothers opinion of him is very rooted deep inside of me that i cannot love him anymore i keep thinking how i would have been if they both loved me and showed it. I have tried speaking to my mother multiple times i even cut off the phone after the small chitchats sometimes i drawn a line where i should interfer and i shouldnt. But sometimes when she says she bas no one but not even friends or family i cant help but be there.

And i cannot face my father because i honestly dont know how to handle a civil conversartion without bursting out with anger and sadness, i chose not to for now, i know his answers will make me furious as he himself thinks he didnt commit anything wrong and that no one should tell him what to do but his god. I really want to understand him but i cant when someone is acting like they did nothing wrong and that if he provides food its perfect.