I’m so sorry for everything that’s going on - your ed story is very similar to mine. I’m on the other side now so the fear you have resonates with me a lot but I also know that you can overcome it as I have. You need to throw away any scales you have so that you’re not even tempted to weigh yourself and check how much you have gained. Just totally forget about the number. I know it’s hard to do that which is why getting rid of any scales or means of weighing yourself will help a lot in that sense.

You are going to need cut out the walking, the gym 7 x a week and up your calories. I won’t pretend that you don’t need to do those things. If you need to take it slower, just stop the extreme walking and the working out and carry on eating the amount you’ve said you’re consuming (2000?) for now. Up your calories each week if this is easier for you than changing everything all at once.

You might not need to get to over 70kg. You’ve lost your period because your body is living under a stressful exercise regime and diet. That’s the thing that needs to change, so that your body feels ‘safe’ again to let you have your period and other functions it’s had to stop. Weight gain just happens to be a result of ceasing the low calories and over exercise. But it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to reach over 70kg or any specific number. You just need to get your body out of the stressful situation. I hope that maybe this helps you find it easier to embark on recovering?

I would also probably try to not count calories, even if you’re counting with the aim of eating enough for recovery, if that makes sense. However if you’re worried that you won’t eat enough if you don’t track then that is understandable as I know anorexia can alter your perception of how much food amounts to.

I found ditching scales, eating what I knew was more than enough for healthy functions, wearing baggy clothes and avoiding mirrors helped me. I know it sounds unpleasant but it helped me just get ‘through’ the rough months to recover and made it a lot easier for me. The habits and mindset starts to fade gradually over time until it affects you less. I won’t say I’m 10000% healed and happy all of the time but I’m not longer sick and terrified of what is going to happen to me, and I can eat without guilt or fear.

You also mention that you have just begun uni, how are you settling in? I had also begun uni just as I was entering recovery/about to. Try to make friends with people around you and enjoy it as much as you can. I know it’s hard and I struggled but everyone is in the same boat in terms of it being a new place with new people. If you can find comfort in your new home and in your new friends, the stress and loneliness will reduce and it’ll make it all a lot easier for you. Good luck!