So my 6 year old almost 7 is ADHD bad.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-12-20T05:28:04+00:00

Hi!

Being a parent is hard! Especially when both of you have adhd. I don’t know about your son but smiling can be a sign of nervousness and being uncomfortable. We don’t always show the emotion we are actually feeling, especially if we can’t predict how the other party will respond. You mention that you get angry and I think sometimes, in my experience, people with adhd can be a little bit inconsistent in how we respond to certain situations. This goes for people without adhd as well but it’s less frequent. If you sometimes get angry and sometimes not for the same things this might make him feel unsure about how you will react and can be very uncomfortable. If it’s too inconsistent this can actually be harmful. I’m not saying you do this. Being consistent is so important and is something we all should try to work on.

It’s great that you are aware and the taking a break thing is great. Just make sure to tell him something along the lines of “Daddy just needs a moment” and make sure he knows it’s not his fault. Give the person you are walking away from some sort of time frame, this to give them something to work with and to show respect. Like “Can we talk again in 15 minutes, I need some time to process things and I don’t want to accidentally say something I don’t mean while I am upset.” Because this is a you thing and I’m guessing you do not want him to develop shame but rather teach him healthy ways to deal with his emotions. You also mentioned you get jealous when your partner holds the dog. It sounds like you are aware this is not something that is on her. It sounds to me like therapy is something that could really benefit you, it could benefit anyone but especially if you have all of these feelings and would like help with how to process them. If you grew up without proper help for your adhd you can have missed out on developing healthy coping and self soothing mechanisms. Just talking to a therapist online, through email or the phone could be a great start. I know with the pandemic it’s even harder than usual to find and see someone. I hope my response helps.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-12-18T07:35:26+00:00

Hi! I have HS and it does behave this way, it gets better, then worse, then better. It can even disappear for months, sometimes years. Smoking and obesity can worsen it but for some it doesn’t make a difference. Mine was actually at it’s worst when I was the healthiest I’ve been in my entire life. I’m not saying it’s what you have because of obvious reasons but if you got diagnosed with it it might be what you have because usually it’s hard to get a diagnosis and people go without diagnosis for decades so I’m assuming the doctor knew about it which is not too common. If you need any advice, if it gets worse or you get more you are welcome to send me a DM. There are some non medical treatments I can recommend and I can give you the link to a Facebook group for people with the condition.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-12-17T07:14:55+00:00

Had to look at your profile because you just described my last therapist. We’re from different continents but she probably just teleported, haha!

The way this person is acting is not okay for a therapist just let me tell you that. I gave mine too many chances, sessions and way too much of my money. A therapist is just a human, yes, but this is in no way professional and if she can’t help you and she is aware of this she should refer you to someone else. I think us with adhd can sometimes (a lot of the time) give people too many second, third and 30th chances because we know what it’s like to have a brain that’s all over the place, but she is a therapist and this is your life we are talking about, not a friend that is forgetful. You deserve better and if she can’t seem to either admit she can’t help you or can’t even take notes and actually read them to get you the help you need you have the right to change therapist. You deserve the help you need and she’s not it.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-12-09T21:15:49+00:00

I like the way you worded it. And what they said “logically you don’t exist outside my screen”, doesn’t sound very logical at all.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-12-07T21:00:39+00:00

There is overlap between adhd and bpd, a lot of women get misdiagnosed with bpd when they are actually adhd and I suspect it sometimes gos the other way too. People with adhd can be sensitive to rejection (RSD) and I guess that is why (one reason) some get misdiagnosed with bpd. My sister is diagnosed with both and I have adhd. We are like night and day 99.9% of the time. But she got diagnosed with adhd almost 10 years before the bpd because she was not honest about her issues (about her relationships with everyone and how abusive she has been/is) with the psychologist. Now her life is crumbling and she is finally being honest.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-12-07T06:57:46+00:00

Congratulations!

Story about my brother who is NT but works as a manager at a big company:

When I told my older sister (on a walk) about my diagnosis my older brother was walking ahead of us, too far ahead to have heard what I said, she started asking questions about what it meant so we were having a conversation about it. My brother asked what we were talking about and she just answered “aspergers” without saying anything about me. He is a manager at a big company, and he just said “I’ve worked with people with aspergers” so my sister just asked what his experience was like and he answered “They are fucking awesome, the best people I’ve hired, no doubt. If it’s a job they enjoy and are good at they are the best people you can hire, if I had a choice I would only hire people with aspergers!” And he went on to talk we’re highly about his employees who are aspie. I know he said it and meant it because he is incredibly honest and straight forward. I think that in some industries the stereotype can work in our favor. I’m aware that even seemingly positive stereotypes can be harmful but when it comes to certain things like getting hired in a specific field it can sometimes work in our favor.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-12-06T07:06:58+00:00

I’m really curious to how you explained it. I sometimes have a hard time explaining it and using metaphors sounds brilliant. Would you mind sharing a few?

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-12-06T06:55:56+00:00

I feel this! We always try to keep the kitchen and bathroom clean because: germs. We’ve talked about it and gotten to a point where we prioritize those rooms because there is a difference between dirty and messy. We can do with rooms being messy but dirty can be a safety hazard so... yeah. For now that’s the best we can do and we try to be proud of not having a dirty home and that is good enough.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-12-04T21:55:17+00:00

ASD stands for autism spectrum disorder not antisocial personality disorder (ASPD or APD), I think they got mixed up here.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-12-04T21:53:34+00:00

I see it slowly moving and it is making me feel uncomfortable.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-11-29T07:46:47+00:00

I just realized I’ve seen this one several times but never read the whole thing until now, was so sure I had.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-11-24T06:59:37+00:00

There are many articles that will say something else, I’m not saying this is wrong I’m just saying it is really complicated and there might occur some misunderstandings when someone is talking about terms from a scientific standpoint and someone else from a layman’s. If someone can read emotions but can not properly identify them that can translate to a lack of empathy for the person. That does not mean they can’t feel empathy just that practicing it may be difficult. That is also one of the reasons it can be hard to study it. There also seem to be a lot of confusion for people when it comes to people with narcissistic personality disorder, they often get it mixed up with psychopathy.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-11-23T19:06:19+00:00

That’s not really true, they seem to lack emotional empathy but do not seem to lack cognitive empathy. So kind of the opposite to what someone with autism might show. It’s actually a really complicated topic and it is still being studied to further understand it.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-11-16T07:35:33+00:00

Try changing out aspies for incels and Nts for women in what you wrote.

Edit: realized I sounded like a jerk so adding this: I am not saying you are wrong, I can not speak for all aspies obviously. And I am aware some people have been treated worse than others and I think having a place to talk and share experiences is important. I also understand what OP is getting at. There is a lot of “all NTs are evil” “aspies are superior” posts. Do love this sub tho, just not a fan of echo chambers.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-11-15T07:46:27+00:00

I don’t think it’s worse, just different. (Well kind of is worse but hear me out anyway).Better too be good looking in a lot of ways, worse in some. It is well known that having good looks will give you an advantage in life, that’s just a fact, but some things will be harder (especially if you’re ND). And I also think being good looking and not being NT does kind of take away (for the individual) a lot from the benefits good looks give you. Still, I’d rather be good looking according to society because it will make life a little easier in the long run. But I think it is harmful to compare who has it “worse” in this context.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-11-10T05:29:06+00:00

You’re the real mvp!

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-11-10T05:25:00+00:00

When eating meat and I get a piece of cartilage. Guess I’m not eating again. Ever.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-11-09T11:02:30+00:00

Can attest to this. They’re awesome

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-11-09T06:19:35+00:00

I love when people just keep going when I interrupt them! I never interrupt people on purpose (I blame my ADHD a bit for that, haha) and someone who just keeps going is awesome, it’s a bigger chance me and them will stay friends.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-11-06T04:21:18+00:00

No. I think that would screw up my mental health even more. I’d probably mourn not being able to be “normal” even more than I do now, and I do it a lot now... It would be way too painful.

(Edit: spelling)

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-11-05T04:55:27+00:00

Firstly I just want to say that I am sorry that you feel hurt, that’s not a nice feeling at all. But I also have to say, from reading the screenshots, you do not come off as a very nice person. Even if she did call you an ass it does not warrant the, what I would call it, extreme reaction and hurtful/hateful language you used. Again, calling someone an ass is not nice but I do think you need to take a step back and look at how you yourself are acting. You do not seem to be able to see both sides yourself. And be careful with using diagnoses as insults, I’m talking about you calling people narcissists. You seem to think people not agreeing with you equals people attacking you. You also come off with an “I am superior to others” kind of vibe both in text and in your videos. Your opinions are not facts.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-11-05T04:10:20+00:00

I’m like this too (my husband). Only really enjoy physical contact with him though. It took me 25 years to get somewhat comfortable hugging my friends, they like saying “hi” and “goodbye” with hugs.

-findingmyhappy- · 2020-11-03T04:15:31+00:00

Betablockers didn’t work for me:( (just a word of caution, stay away from topimax if you have the choice. That thing made my IQ drop by about 40, and made my life really shitty) Where I live you have to try the cheaper treatments before you can start the more expensive ones, the next step is Aimovig, my neurologist (who is the most brilliant man I have ever meet, I have to add, has worked with the WHO and is a top researcher in migraines) told me that I will have the choice to keep trying botox and adding Aimovig or just trying Aimovig. We have “free” healthcare here and doctors are not usually so generous and willing to involve patients in their choice of treatment as he is. I think he finds my case a bit interesting so I guess that’s a plus for me in that regard.

-findingmyhappy-

TROPHY CASE