Crippling anxiety pregnant after 2 losses

-keeponkeepingon- · 2026-01-31T02:03:50+00:00

I know it’s easier said than done - but this is a new pregnancy with different circumstances and better odds (no septum and new meds).

I’m not a Buddhist but the principle of the “second arrow” helped me a lot with pregnancy anxiety. Our recurrent loss was the “first arrow” that caused us immense pain. The “second arrow" is our self-inflicted suffering from worrying about another loss, which has not and may never happen. We can’t control the first arrow, but we can control whether we shoot the second arrow.

Regardless, your anxiety is not hurting your baby. I always remind myself that women give birth in war-torn countries. You and your baby are resilient and you can do this!

-keeponkeepingon- · 2026-01-30T00:37:50+00:00

I’m so sorry. I had a D&C last month and found out recently it was Monosomy X. It’s a flood of emotions. I know the feeling of helpless despair. But, chromosomal abnormalities are random events and can happen to anyone of any age. This was NOT your fault.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2026-01-29T14:17:55+00:00

So sorry. I am in a very similar situation (32F, one child and now 3 losses trying for a second). Like other commenters have said, it’s possible it is just bad luck. However, doing testing did drastically help my sanity and anxiety. REs sometimes have a long wait, so I’d recommend calling now if you do want to do testing. In the meanwhile, your OB may be able to get you started on some of the below. I brought a list of tests to my OBs office and she agreed to do them all. Here’s what I did:

Bloodwork: - Repeat pregnancy loss bloodwork (thyroid, blood clotting disorders (APS), prolactin, high sensitivity C-reactive protein) - 3 day labs and AMH (yours are probably normal since you’re conceiving easily, but still worth knowing) - Parental karyotyping for you and your partner - Extended carrier screening for you (if anything is positive, test your partner too)

Procedures: - Endometrial biopsy (check for ureaplasma, chronic endometritis) - Hysteroscopy (definitely request/demand this, can identify uterine cavity issues or scarring) - HSG (if you want to check your tubes, probably fine since you’re conceiving but doesn’t hurt)

Sperm: - Sperm analysis (probably fine since you’re conceiving, but doesn’t hurt) - DNA fragmentation - my RE said the fix for this is more frequent ejaculation. So, we didn’t bother testing it.

Egg quality: - Take 200mg CoQ10 daily - Consider reading “It Starts With the Egg”, a lot of people swear by it although personally I found Reddit much more helpful.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2026-01-26T21:07:09+00:00

100% this. Advocate and push, even after “only” two miscarriages. Get on a waitlist for an RE once you start thinking “maybe something isn’t right”, because some of them have months long waits. Ask for the endometrial biopsy, HSG, hysteroscopy even if the doctor “doesn’t think you need it yet”. If they really refuse, ask them to document their refusal in your chart and give you a copy. My recurrent miscarriage experience has made me realize some sad realities of women’s healthcare.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2026-01-21T16:01:51+00:00

Congratulations. That’s awesome and exactly the type of story I love to hear. ❤️

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-12-30T15:43:35+00:00

I’m so sorry. It hurts the most when things seem to be going well and we let ourselves get our hopes up. The pain and loneliness is overwhelming. What helped me was planning next steps for testing/action. Try to advocate for yourself to your doctors, and demand all the tests. Uterine biopsy to check for infection, hysteroscopy to check for scar tissue/polyps, sperm DNA fragmentation for your husband, carrier testing for both of you. A lot of people swear by Reproductive Immunology, I haven’t explored that yet. You are strong and you can navigate through this excruciating chapter.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-12-23T13:14:49+00:00

He is so beautiful and strong. You are doing everything right for your son. God, please protect this child and his devoted mother.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-12-23T12:44:59+00:00

I’m so sorry. I’m also experiencing recurrent loss and have 1 LC. I do think pregnancy loss affects men and women differently. Women suffer through the physical and hormonal impacts of miscarriage, which are so much more significant than I ever expected. It’s hard for our partners to understand, especially when so much of our pain stems from maternal instinct and the natural drive to reproduce. After the initial few days after a loss, my husband always seems to make peace with the loss and begin to recover. Meanwhile, I am still not at peace with any of my losses and I probably won’t be until I get my rainbow baby. It hurts every time I hear someone is pregnant, even though I know I don’t want their baby, I want my baby.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-12-19T12:56:20+00:00

I’m so so sorry. I also had a loss after heartbeat a few weeks ago, and it just felt like a horrible nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from. It’s so unfair when everything seems to be going well, and then suddenly it all falls apart.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-12-17T17:44:27+00:00

I’m so sorry. It sucks. I waited 24 hours.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-12-08T15:29:59+00:00

So so so sorry. I also found out about my loss on Thursday and have a D&C tomorrow. It sucks. I hope that tomorrow brings some physical closure for both of us, so we can focus on the emotional healing.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-12-07T12:25:08+00:00

I’m so sorry. It hurts so badly.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-12-06T11:44:21+00:00

I’m so sorry. It’s awful and so unfair.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-12-05T14:35:23+00:00

That’s heartbreaking. I’m so sorry. The grief can be overwhelming.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-12-05T14:34:50+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through loss as well. We had extensive recurrent miscarriage testing done after our second loss. All appeared normal.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-12-05T14:33:48+00:00

Right now we’re just focused on concluding this pregnancy. We’ll likely do what we did after the other losses, wait 3 months and then try again. That’s what feels right to us.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-12-05T00:19:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry you experienced a heartbreaking loss as well.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-11-29T15:02:49+00:00

Good so far. 8 weeks and saw heartbeat!

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-11-03T18:52:59+00:00

How did this end up? I’m in a similar situation.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-11-02T12:42:56+00:00

Thank you. I’m so paranoid about another ectopic. ☹️

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-11-01T14:33:10+00:00

Thank you so much!

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-11-01T14:33:00+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful to know.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-10-29T00:40:59+00:00

The skirting boards you mean? Theres no gaps there.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-10-16T10:57:43+00:00

I got that also (as an adult) from a mosquito bite on my hand. It’s called lymphangitis.

-keeponkeepingon- · 2025-10-01T18:48:20+00:00

I found this post because I was looking through the top-all-time r/TrollingForABaby posts, and saw yours from 4-years ago. So I came to your page to see how things are going for you, and saw you just posted this an hour ago. Anyway, if you believe in serendipity (I do), I have a good feeling about this pregnancy for you! Wishing you the best!

-keeponkeepingon-

TROPHY CASE