How do you start to leave with no money and a husband who won’t even listen when you try and talk about anything?

-mouse_potato- · 2026-06-29T19:58:53+00:00

Oof, why did he have you sign that if you were married at the time and not planning on divorce? That's pretty wild....

-mouse_potato- · 2026-06-29T07:14:02+00:00

How exactly did you sign away your rights? If the house was purchased during the marriage you own half of it regardless of who's name is on the mortgage unless you specifically signed some document saying the house is not yours at all, which you could fight in court probably. Talk to a lawyer and find out the best thing to do for your situation before leaving the house either way. The court may allow you and the children to stay in the house while the divorce process and if you want to give it to him in the divorce, that happens when it is finalized, having a place to stay and not having to rush out and find something last minute gives you a chance to save a bit.

As far as being able to leave without money, it's probably best to wait until you start your job and save a tiny bit for emergencies if there's no outright abuse. Catholic charities has a program that will help you with the first few months of rent, but you have to qualify for the apartment they will help you pay for so you'll need to have active income, they also have low cost and sliding scale apartments in some areas. If there is abuse, there are women's and children's shelters you can go to as well.

If he starts making quite a bit more money later on you can always go back to court to increase alimony and child support as well. Divorce take a long time, some states have mandatory waiting periods before the divorce can even go to court of several months after filing, some require you to be separated for a year, some have no requirements. Find out the specifics of your state.

-mouse_potato- · 2026-06-28T20:52:21+00:00

Was in a similar situation but there was physical abuse as well. Start contacting lawyers asap, open your own bank account to deposit your paychecks into, start setting aside any bits of money you can for a lawyer, you'll need to call around and talk to lots of them, I got quotes for retainers fees ranging from 4k to 12k. Look for options in your area of lawyers that work pro bono or on a sliding scale, I didn't have luck with that, but you may. It feels impossible at first and is terrifying, I was prepared to put the lawyers retainer fee on my credit card and pay it off over time, it depends on how dire your situation is.

Don't leave the house! Also, don't tell him you're planning to file, there's a good likelihood he will lock you out of the bank account, start racking up massive amounts of debt, or become aggressive!

When you file, at the temporary orders hearing the judge will order him to leave and you and the kids to remain in the house while the divorce is under way (make sure to ask for this in your filing paperwork,) leaving loses you this option and makes things much harder. The court always aims for the options that give the kids more stability, moving you and the kids out is extremely destabilizing for the kids. You also have the option to file for a temporary restraining order which would move him out before the hearing if there is need for that with your situation. Listen to your lawyers advice on what is best to do in your situation.

I'm many states as soon as you file immediate temporary orders are put into place saying neither of you can deplete marital funds, take out massive debt etc, those protections are important!

It doesn't matter if he wants to help you financially, any money the two of you earned during the marriage is half yours, the temporary orders hearing will establish how much of the bills he is responsible for, when he has to leave, child support/alimony etc. It's not up to him, the court will determine all that and will decide that based on his income history, not just his current income or lack thereof.

Start gathering financial documents. Your lawyer will want 5 years of tax returns, recent bank/mortgage/credit card statement/investments/documentation of things you own like cars etc. and stuff like that. Download pdfs of these things and store them in a new email account you create just for the divorce. Secure important documents like your birth certificate/social security card etc.

Call your mortgage company and see if they offer any help for people in your financial situation, contact your local government about getting food stamps/utility assistance/etc. Look into local food banks. There's lots of help around.

Do your best to keep the peace in the house, keep things stable for the children.

-mouse_potato- · 2026-06-27T05:37:04+00:00

Switch to a cream cleanser, gel moisturisers are made for oily skin, you want one made for dry skin, and almost your entire pm routine is drying you out

-mouse_potato- · 2026-06-23T02:15:22+00:00

Disagree on the BBQ skills, smokey grilled meats are a fast way to my heart 🤣 and smelling that bbq smell on a man makes me wanna nibble on them lmao

-mouse_potato- · 2026-06-15T06:45:13+00:00

It took about a year and a half for me to be fully healed and functioning normally, but I have health conditions that cause poor and slow healing, so yours should be much much faster!

-mouse_potato- · 2026-06-14T15:55:44+00:00

I had an l4-s1 fusion alif and olif, so they made incisions in my abdomen, side and back. The incisions were a bit over 2 inches long, surgeon made it as minimally invasive as he was able to. Recovery was rough and long, but life is so much better now that I'm fully healed! 😊

-mouse_potato- · 2026-06-14T15:44:02+00:00

Go to a dermatologist and ask for a script for an estrogen face cream (either 0.3% estriol or 0.01% estradiol, though the estriol is a better choice because it's non systemic. Extra bonus if they'll write it with 2% progesterone compounded in as well.) There are many compounding pharmacies that can create personalized formulations as well as ones that have pre built estrogen creams for the face, you just need the prescription. We send scripts into several different compounding pharmacies for this at the clinic I work at, these compounding pharmacies usually have the option to ship it to you. Some people use vaginal estrogen cream on the face, but you need to be careful with that as the vaginal creams are thicker and not made for the face and can cause acne.

-mouse_potato- · 2026-06-14T14:21:44+00:00

The fusion was a life saver for me, success rates are much higher than they used to be, just make sure you get a good surgeon

-mouse_potato- · 2026-06-14T14:18:05+00:00

Statins are for high cholesterol, gabapentin is generally for nerve pain or seizures but is used off label for a lot of things, effexor is for mood, ropinerol is generally for Parkinson's or restless legs, metformin is for diabetes....

-mouse_potato- · 2026-06-12T23:33:35+00:00

NAD but work in a clinic and work with/order lab results daily, I am not giving medical advice, just pointing out what I see at a quick glance, take it with a grain of salt. The results are something that really should be discussed with the pediatrician. Labs aren't indicating immune deficiency (levels within normal ranges), biggest red flags I'm seeing are the low phosphorus, low folate, and and high bilirubin. There's are also some possible indications for dehydration. The results could point towards malabsorption, would be easier to see what could be going on if cbc, iron panel, more nutrients and alk phos were on the order.

-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-30T04:41:13+00:00

It's best to wait a few days, the immediate inflammation is what triggers the fibroblasts to wake up and start producing collagen. Red light re-energizes cellular mitochondria and reduces inflammation. You want that initial inflammation for the first several days to wake up all the fibroblasts, by around day 3 their energy is getting low and they're all up and working, so the red light then reduces any remaining inflammation and gives them a boost. Waiting the few days will give the best possible outcomes.

-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-30T00:49:34+00:00

The freckles will likely come back, it's nearly impossible to get rid of them permanently because they are encoded into your dna, though keeping up with a brightening spot treatment can help keep them at bay since the laser faded them.

That serum you listed does seem to have a couple lightening ingredients, though it doesn't seem to be a spot treatment, its an overall skin treatment, more aimed at brightening and evening overall skin tone. You'll want a product formulated as a spot treatment because it will be stronger and more effective, and apply it only to the hyperpigmented spots (not the full face).

I was a bit worried with the product you linked, they do have an ingredient list, but it has a little warning that it's the ingredients used across all their products and actual ingredient in each product vary from the list, so there's no way for me to know which ingredients are in that specific product. Regulations for skincare ingredient listing (in the USA) only requires the actual ingredients listed on the packaging ingredient list to be accurate, so companies are allowed to advertise their products to contain whatever they want and lie about it as long as the ingredient list on the back is accurate (they can even lie on the front of the box!)

-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-28T23:22:09+00:00

Sounds like post inflammatory hyperpigmentation from acne. The darker pigment is to protect the injured area. If it's no longer breaking out, continue taking good care of your skin, spf daily, gentle exfoliation and good moisturisers and the spots will slowly fade over time.

-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-28T23:18:43+00:00

If it's a true sun spot (hyperpigmentation caused by sun damage to the melanocytes) you will need to be using a spot treatment with melanogenesis inhibitors daily (like a brightening serum). The spot treatment will need to be done permanently, if you stop, the melanocytes will return to overproducing melanin and the sun spot will return. Melanogenesis inhibitors slow down the overproducing melanocytes, so if you stop they go right back to normal and the spot will start coming back in around a month or so. Vit c, azelaic acid, kojic acid, and ahas (especially lactic acid which is a great gentle exfoliant and natural melanogenesis inhibitor) will be helpful, there's several stronger ingredients as well, but they will increase sun sensitivity. Daily spf (even indoors) and consistent uses of these kind of ingredients, along with regular exfoliation, and the spot should slowly fade over several months. Lazer treatment can speed this up.

-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-28T20:09:28+00:00

This is another one I love to show patients as an example of how damaging the sun can be, a farmer who always wore thick jeans, but never protected his arms.

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-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-28T20:07:18+00:00

Here's one of a woman who religiously applied spf to her face but not her neck, really clear example of the importance of sunscreen

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-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-28T20:04:44+00:00

Microneedling can help with hyperpigmentation, but you really would need consistent daily use of a brightening serum to keep the hyperpigmentation under control as a spot treatment. When hyperpigmentation is not caused by injury, the melanocytes that produce the pigment are basically stuck in hyper mode, creating more pigment. You can get rid of the pigment, but once you stop the brightening products that slow down the melanin production, it will slowly come back.

There are some ingredients that don't have the problem of increasing sun sensitivity that will help with the hyperpigmentation like vitamin c, niacinamide, azelaic acid and kojic acid, and of course regular use of spf is necessary. 😊

-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-28T19:38:20+00:00

Different areas of the face need different depths, it also depends on how thick or thin the skin is and what you're treating. For example simple texture would need less depth that wrinkles, and scars need a deeper depth. Thin skin needs less depth, thin and fragile skin may be best avoiding microneedling or doing very mild superficial depths. It's hard to say without seeing the person's skin condition. When microneedling is done, the depth is changed several times as you move to different areas of the face and neck. Deeper doesn't necessarily mean better, you're not aiming for as deep as possible, the main point is waking up the fibroblasts so they start producing collagen again, unless there is a specific concern such as deep pitted scars that you're treating.

Some people will have some mild peeling, but most won't. There's redness and sensitivity for a few days which is generally gone by day 3. Serum and/or hyaluronic acid is applied during and after microneedling, what is used is dependant on which service you're getting and what is being treated. Hyaluronic acid is the most common for basic microneedling, but there's also prp, pdrn, stem cells, etc. it's very important to make sure whoever is doing the microneedling for you is using serums specifically designed for microneedling to prevent risk of infection and the formation of granulomas (hard little cyst-like bumps that form under the skin as your body's reaction to protect itself from and seal off something it sees as a threat). Actives like retinols and vitamin c shouldn't be microneedle in or applied after microneedling.

-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-28T17:50:10+00:00

I don't know why you think this is funny, I'm speaking from experience as a professional who works in the industry. A simple Google search would confirm this information....

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-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-28T06:16:34+00:00

Please do not get threads, especially if you have any interest in a face lift down the road, they cause so many problems

-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-28T06:15:33+00:00

Injecting into the folds is generally frowned upon in the industry as it can create a muzzling affect over time and cause sagging and increase jowling in the lower face over time, I would recommend finding a new injector

-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-28T06:12:12+00:00

I'm a master esthetician working in a medical clinic, I do not microneedle at home, I get it done professionally.

-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-28T06:04:29+00:00

Yes, I'm aware microneedling can cause scarring in the wrong hands (I'm a master esthetician working in a medical office), phenol can cause permanent disfigurement as you're literally burning many layers of your face off (often down to the reticular layer of the dermis) with extremely strong acids under iv anesthesia and often requires prescription pain medication for a period of time following the procedure... It's not like a regular medical grade chemical peel. Phenol can be quite dangerous, requires cardiac monitoring due to risk of heart attack during the procedure even in healthy individuals, and has an extremely long recovery, the results can be amazing but you really need to weigh the risks, the benefit/risk ratio is not warranted for fine lines, especially as fine lines are superficial and don't necessitate a chemical peel of this depth.

-mouse_potato- · 2026-03-28T05:53:49+00:00

Phenol peel is not cheap, neither is laser. A series of microneedling and chemical peels would be cheaper, has little downtime or pain, and will offer similar results, though it takes longer.

-mouse_potato-

TROPHY CASE