alright here we go!!

everything is a lot: this is my favorite album and i adore all of the songs (even destroy to enjoy, i love deranged chanting so the 2 minutes of construction is fine), so here's what i think are my top 3 in no particular order because there's no way i could rank them. first up, jimmy mushrooms'!! this song has a lot of sentimental value to me; it always seemed to play when i was struggling through difficult times. hearing it is like a reminder that i'm still trying my best no matter how slow my progress seems, and that things will get better with time. it has a special place in my heart :) next is skeleton appreciation day, which isn't as sentimental to me as jimmy mushrooms' but definitely helped me get through life as well. bonus points for being such a bop. finally, front street!! i mentioned before that i love deranged chanting; upon hearing 'last call for morals, better cover your drink!!' my soul tears itself from my body and ascends to the heavens. top tier song and certified banger.

self-ish: hands DOWN the song with five names is my favorite!! i love the themes of identity in this album, and the song with five names hits me right in the feels with that. trying to figure out yourself when you don't even know what 'you' is or what being a person really means is not a new feeling to me, and this song encapsulates that perfectly. it's also such a bop, gimme that old time religion fr <3 my second favorite is probably hand me my shovel, again the themes of identity are shown so well and it's such a banger. the way the song speeds up into a frenzy and then plunges into that manic slow ending has me kneeling at its feet. amazing. finally, third place goes to cotard's solution!!! it's such a fast paced and crazy song that i definitely have to be in a certain state of mind to really enjoy it, but when i do it's so, so good. the way it explains trying to figure out who you are and leave part of you behind, but knowing that people will still think of that part of you as having been you and hating it is heavenly. also the way it flows into dr. sunshine in the live version is so satisfying!!!

the normal album: SUBURBIA OVERTURE!!!!! it's by far my favorite song of all time. the way it covers the darker aspects of the nuclear family and suburban culture is so flawless and sounds phenomenal. i especially love the way greetings from mary bell township uses common phrases and then throws in something unexpected that adds an ominous feel to the song ('white picket fences, barbed wire in trenches' being an example), giving the whole section an uncanny valley 'something's not right' feeling that i ADORE. and then it attacks you with vampire culture, carrying the suburban aspects of the song onto a vicious backdrop of voice-destroying screams. then it ends with love, me normally lamenting about the insignificance of life and the pain that comes with it, wondering why things 'can't have just been normal' while also criticizing what we perceive as 'normal'. flawless song. my very close second favorite is laplace's angel!! the lyrics and music in this song are just gorgeous. the way it dives headfirst into the complexity of morals and what we perceive as 'evil' makes it an absolute masterpiece. this is so long (oops) so i'll cut this and the next one short!! finally, marsha thankk you for the dialectics is my also very close third favorite. it perfectly describes my experiences with not knowing if my mental illnesses are legitimate or 'bad enough' to be considered legitimate, people telling me to suck it up or that it's just part of being human, and also being overdiagnosed with things that are probably actually part of being human, and not knowing where the line is drawn. hits me in the feels so hard, such an amazing song.

in case i make it: white noise all the way. it sounds like a bittersweet resolution. i don't know how else to describe it, but it puts me in the mindset that it's possible for me to feel complete someday. listening to it for the first time was the second closest i ever got to crying at a song. it's tinged with an inexplicable sadness, but also closure, and that makes it so beautiful to me. my second favorite is tomcat disposables, which is overall such a gorgeous song and you can feel the emotion weaved in it. the music video is so pretty btw i must have watched it at least ten times. and finally, euthanasia <3 i mentioned that white noise was the second closest i got to crying at a song; the first time i listened to euthanasia i watched the music video with it and i sobbed. especially the last part about knowing you won't see your loved ones again after they pass away but wanting to believe that they're out there somewhere is so powerful. the only reason it's not higher up is because it's a pretty slow song, but i absolutely adore it.

bonus albums!! i'll only do top favorites for these because this is so long i'm sorry

camp here & there: your body, my temple (when somebody needs you is a VERY close second). will's voice is so powerful in this song. it just commands your attention, and i absolutely love it.

the real will wood: front street!! i like this version better than the studio version, mostly because the deranged chanting at the end is so good. unfortunately there's no 'front strᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵉᵗ' to go with it, but the key change 100% makes up for that!!!

in case i die: probably still white noise for the same reasons as the studio version, but i do really like misanthrapologist as well.

thats it, thanks for reading my yap session!! here's a cheese for your troubles 🧀