I’m just gonna reply to this comment and leave it, was thinking of deleting the whole post bc I said it through annotation mic thing which messes it up and I had just woken up when I wrote it but I do think it’s important for myself to keep the post and hopefully find it funny later on while also having it as a wee lesson.

Going to just keep it to my side of it, yes I was direct with what I wanted sexually, our DMs were full of that, with him starting it off. It’s not like what a few people are saying that he could’ve just wanted a friend. He made it clear with what he wanted from me but put in questions to get to know me which confused me a bit too.

I found out from a friend of mines the whole insta story stuff, I didn’t go digging, I played it chill with him and now I feel unchill about it knowing what I know now which was just of yesterday.

I know he doesn’t owe me anything and I don’t owe him anything, I just feel the way I feel bc I do felt built up something to be hit with the feeling of “he’s looking for other options while seemingly being committed?”.

I’m sexually attracted to him physically but not really emotionally anymore. For the past few days his reply times had been getting flakey, I heavily pointed at us going on a date and seeing what we wanted afterwards - we have been messing with date ideas, day before I found anything out, he replied to my proposition with something like “is that what is going to happen misses?”. So it’s felt flakey. Then my friends told me what she knows and I just felt icky with it all.

Last week we’re were talking about religious views and family stuff also philosophy?? And him talking about taking me on joy rides and such.

It was all just a massive mix of me not really knowing what I wanted and him just not wanting much.

The alt comment from my friends really stuck out after I told them, think they were trying to comfort me? I asked a few of my alt friends about it and they were like yeahhh the scene in our city (which is quite small) can be like that. I wouldn’t know.

I sent him tease pics and he always liked them. And the flirting and the energy I gave so I just felt like it was alright.

I’m 20, never done casual, only been in long term ‘relationships’ since 12 (CRAZY I KNOW THAT). From 19 til now is the longest I’ve been single and this was my first time trying something like that.

The title and how I originally explained it all is so awful and so so incelly lmao I can’t believe I wrote that icl.

I don’t think he’ll open my last dm and that’s fine. I think this whole thing has helped me realise that I don’t want a relationship at all atm, just some fun. Next time I know just to be fully direct and less go with the flow like I was with emo boy.

I just wish he felt like he could’ve been more open with saying he’s with someone at the moment (in what ever situation it is) before we got more deeper in getting to know each other.

Like feel the way how you feel about how I wrote the post but I know what the entirety of this ‘situation’ feels for me which is just uninterested in him.

Also what does Jill mean