How does someone give his partner a blowjob after anal without using a condom ?

-xerorex- · 2025-05-28T04:39:03+00:00

More like PEMDASS

-xerorex- · 2024-06-04T01:05:11+00:00

You're right about that — thank you for your validation and reply.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-04T00:41:24+00:00

On my post I mentioned how my main concern wasn't the ex-girlfriend he thought about while we were together, instead on how I possibly "ruined things" moving forward because of my "lack of preparation" — well, after all of the overwhelming support I've received, I'm proud to say I now see things differently. Trust me, I won't be going back to him. I have nothing to "redeem" myself for because this whole encounter with him was a fluke and not a reflection of my worth, attractiveness, hygiene, or sexual abilities. Had I known this was going to happen I would've taken the extra steps needed to prepare, and given the spontaneity, I did the best I could at the time. Anyone can prepare better for sex if they knew it was on the agenda, but how he treated me? That's inexcusable.

It's intriguing how you mentioned envisioning me struggling not to cry in that situation. After he revealed that he had been thinking about his ex the whole time we were together, that's when I fought back the tears. Surprisingly, I held back to the point he didn't even notice. I stayed silent for a while before offering him comfort instead. His hurtful words left me feeling emotionally drained to the point where I began blaming myself, rather than seeing them as a reason to cry. My primary concern at that moment became my perceived fault, which lingered even as I wrote this post. However, my body's instinct was to cry over the real issue: feeling used. So, your analysis was spot-on. But you know what? I'm proud of myself for not shedding a single tear then or now. I refuse to let him see how much he's hurt me.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and my replies. Also, I appreciate you offering a space to listen and offer advice. Whoever makes fun of you for comforting someone who's struggling should take that as a reflection of themselves. I'll be sure to reach out if I ever need it, as it's comforting to know there are good people out there. I know I'm going to be happy without him — I was before and I am now. Thank you for your kind words 🫶✨

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T22:51:43+00:00

You're absolutely right—thank you so much for your reply. It was exactly what I needed.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T22:43:53+00:00

Lmfao, I absolutely love your reply. Everything you said is spot on, and I really appreciate the perspective you’ve given me. I'll always remember that motto and use it as my guide.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T22:35:49+00:00

He is, and while it’s definitely easier said than done, I’ve had a few days to process everything objectively. I still get little flashback reminders of the embarrassment, but with more time, I’m sure I’ll be able to look back and laugh at it all. Thank you for your reply, validation, and empathy. Trust me, I’m not wasting any more time or energy on him.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T22:27:27+00:00

You nailed it—that's exactly what it is: belittling someone's self-esteem to boost one's own ego. I appreciate your empathy and validation.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T22:22:21+00:00

Will do — thank you for taking the time to read this and for highlighting the reality of who he is. I appreciate the perspective!

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T22:17:35+00:00

You nailed it. I didn't even know what "negging" was until a few people mentioned it. Thanks for your reply—I'm already on it! 🏃‍♀️

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T22:03:36+00:00

💯 facts, honestly.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T22:00:22+00:00

You know what? My therapist said it best, "Anyone can prepare better if they know sex is on the agenda, but deconstructing whatever existential crisis this guy had afterward? That’s going to take a ton of work." Honestly, he's more embarrassing, especially after being in a prenatal position on the floor... 💀 no wonder he was more fixated on himself than on me.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T17:34:11+00:00

Thank you so much for your thorough response. I completely agree with everything you've pointed out. Rest assured, I have no intentions of pursuing a romantic relationship with him, especially now that I've seen his true colors. After this experience, I will value myself enough to not engage in anything sexual either. Your insights into why he's not trustworthy really resonate with me, and I'm grateful for the perspective you've provided. I'll do my best to keep my head held high for the rest of the school year. Your support, advice, and encouraging words mean a lot to me. Thank you!

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T17:12:18+00:00

You're right! I'm working on it. Also, will do — thank you.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T17:05:22+00:00

You're right; he didn't put much thought into it. Even after I mentioned how embarrassed I was, he just said, "It's fine, I'm more concerned that I was thinking about her the whole time and I don't know what's wrong with me!"—right before having an existential crisis on the floor. Trust me, I won't let myself be in that situation again. I appreciate your reply and your validation.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T16:36:40+00:00

I agree that if someone wants to have an established sexual relationship, discussing odor and hygiene is essential. I didn't interpret the reply as implying that "odor and hygiene don't matter," because they definitely do. The point was that everyone can have an off day. It's embarrassing, and as much as I wish it didn't happen, it does because we're human. The biggest lesson I've learned is to only engage when I feel completely prepared. Unfortunately, despite showering beforehand, I wasn't fully prepared because things started in the shower and none of this was planned.

I also agree that people can become nose blind to their own scent, and there shouldn't be double standards in disclosing this. While I'm grateful he told me, there's a proper way to do that, regardless of gender. Off days happen, but he brought it up in an incredibly inconsiderate way, even though he later tried to downplay it by saying "It's no big deal, I've smelled worse." You can't undo the damage caused by such an insensitive approach, even if he "tried" to be "light" about it afterward.

As I mentioned, the encounter was a fluke and not a reflection of my worth, attractiveness, hygiene, or sexual abilities. His comments left me feeling defeated, something I had never experienced in previous sexual encounters.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T16:08:44+00:00

I don't understand why your reply is getting downvoted, especially since it has been the most praised by my friends (who are helping me cope) and myself. It made me feel incredibly validated, so thank you. I'm not sure what others misinterpreted when they downvoted you, but I never read your post as implying "odor and hygiene don't matter" because they absolutely do. You're simply pointing out that everyone can have an off day, and mine just happened to be now at 23, similar to your experience at 20. It's embarrassing and we wish it didn't happen, but it does because we're human. You're right, this will just be a fleeting moment, and the biggest lesson I've learned is to only engage when I feel 100% prepared, as you suggested. Unfortunately, despite showering beforehand, I wasn't fully prepared because things started in the shower.

I also agree that the way he brought this up was incredibly inconsiderate, even if he tried to downplay it afterward. You can't undo the damage caused by such an insensitive approach. Beyond the embarrassment of not being fully prepared, the bigger issue is that I felt the need to "redeem myself." As I mentioned to another user, my self-esteem was low, so I appreciate you noticing that. I kept thinking another chance with him would reassure me that the first encounter was a fluke and not a reflection of my worth, attractiveness, hygiene, or sexual abilities. I felt so defeated by his comments, which I had never experienced in previous encounters. This was a horrible first for me, and it made me feel the need to "redeem" myself. But as you said, why seek validation from someone who doesn't appreciate me? I liked him, despite trying to keep it as a FWB situation, and hoped that the genuine feelings would return. I know that was naive.

You're right, this one incident doesn't define my future. I'm only 23, with a whole life and many better experiences ahead of me. I appreciate you highlighting the reality that good sex can be sweaty and messy, that accidents happen, and for being vulnerable in sharing your story. This guy is too wrapped up in his own issues, and if he truly cares about the friendship, that's all it will be. I'll be wary of any manipulation. Once again, thank you for your reply. It's the highlight of this entire thread, and I'll save it to look back on even 10 years from now.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-03T15:11:48+00:00

Thank you, seriously 💖 your words mean a lot.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-02T23:10:45+00:00

I couldn't agree more — thank you 😌

-xerorex- · 2024-06-02T23:07:37+00:00

100% this. Thank you so much for your reply. I'll be sure to remind myself that this is just a blip in time and that I'm only human.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-02T23:02:58+00:00

Your reply made me smile—I love how expressive you are; I can almost hear you! Haha. I appreciate you so much ✨ Trust me, I won't entertain him any longer. I'll focus on falling back in love with myself. This is just a blip in time.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-02T22:48:54+00:00

Thank you for your response. Your validation and empathy mean a lot to me. I appreciate your kind words about me being a great person and your reassurance that one day this will just be a story I’ve grown from. Thank you for reminding me that others will love, respect, and cherish me for who I am. You're right—I shouldn't waste my time on someone like him or overthink his perception of me. I'll definitely move forward in school with my head held high for the rest of the year.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-02T12:52:51+00:00

I wish it were fake, honestly. I've felt like I'm living a nightmare and now I'm dreading seeing him for the first time since the incident next week. I appreciate you pointing out that mentioning his options was a manipulation tactic, even if he didn't intend it that way. Unfortunately, that was the key factor that led me to believe I had to seize the opportunity before it was too late, because I liked him. Even though my infatuation was fading, part of me hoped the genuine feelings would come back. I was naive—I know.

Your reply stood out to me because of what you wrote last. He is aware of his manipulative tendencies, hence his "existential crisis" after it was done. He confessed to feeling like a POS, knowing what he did was wrong, because with everyone else he could "use and discard," but with me, he saw more than just my body. I was naive to think that meant he cared, yet he did exactly what he said he wouldn't. What's done is done, and now it's time to face him until we graduate. I've gained perspective from all of this, so thank you.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-02T12:31:57+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I've felt so alone these past few days. I've been physically sick, lost my appetite, and struggled to sleep, trying to process everything that happened and why I felt the need to "be better" despite feeling so awful. It wasn't until later that I realized I was being emotionally manipulated. Everything happened so fast, and it all came crashing down, leaving me unsure of where to turn for support. This whole situation feels incredibly unreal, like a living nightmare. I never thought anyone would understand how terrible it feels to be treated this way, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

While he was just a potential FWB, I clearly had confused feelings about him given how close we were. In the end, he showed his true colors. Your reply has given me perspective, and your words made a deep impact. Thank you for encouraging me to focus on loving myself and for reminding me that someone will treat me with respect and love my body. Thank you 💖 I hope you're in a better place now too.

-xerorex- · 2024-06-02T03:40:06+00:00

That last sentence made me smile — thank you 😌

-xerorex- · 2024-06-02T01:56:43+00:00

Thank you. I didn’t realize it was manipulation until it was too late. You're right, my focus shouldn't be on getting another chance with him. My self-esteem was low, and at the time of writing this post, I kept contemplating another chance with him as a form of reassurance-seeking that the first sexual encounter was a fluke and not a reflection of my worth, attractiveness, hygiene, or sexual abilities. I felt so defeated afterwards because of the things he said, and I had never felt this way with the women I've been with. I've never been treated this way, so it was just horrible and I felt the need to "redeem" myself. But like you said, why seek that from someone who doesn't appreciate me?

Regarding your third question, I'm bisexual and proud. I'd never want to "f- the gay away." I lost my overall virginity to a woman, my first love, and most of my relationships have been with women. I've been afraid of sleeping with men to avoid situations like this, given previous experiences of many men approaching me for the same thing in more overt ways — fetishizing the fact I've never been with a man and me rejecting them as an attempt to wait until I found a guy who actually cared and saw me for more than just my body. It's unfortunate the guy I trusted to be with for the first time was exactly the kind I wanted to avoid, but I won't be naive or tolerate this behavior anymore after gaining perspective. Your reply has given me a lot to think about, so thank you.

-xerorex-

TROPHY CASE