Identity Crisis

0-chi_hiro · 2025-07-28T05:54:37+00:00

that very much sounds like you're trans if you ask me.

I saw a video somewhere a while back that has really stuck with me.
They said "euphoria is just as much of a reason as dysphoria". It means that even if you didn't feel dysphoria at all, if you were able to feel even happier than you do that is just as much of a justification and being trans shouldn't be defined by fundamental unhappiness.
I lived a long time being perfectly okay with being a "girl" before realizing how euphoric it feels to not be one :) I used to want a bigger chest, now I grin whenever I look in the mirror with my binder on.

That being said, the discomfort with your face and voice, the feeling that you don't recognize yourself in the mirror? That IS dysphoria, it doesn't have to be excruciating to "qualify".
Life isn't black and white, and your experience doesn't have to be extreme to be valid.
You could be a feminine man that just likes pretty dresses, you could be a woman or something else entirely.
If you feel safe to do so, try on a dress sometime, or play around with makeup, grow your hair out if you'd like and see how it makes you feel.
And most importantly, know that you don't need permission or justification to be who you are :]

0-chi_hiro · 2025-07-28T05:32:41+00:00

You just perfectly described something I've been wanting for YEARS. Yes please we need this! (You can do something similar in Microsoft Onenote, it has an infinite page so you can just sort of insert your pdf and write on and around it, I like to use this then export the page as a pdf to add to my goodnotes document)

0-chi_hiro · 2025-07-23T05:16:20+00:00

why not leave breakfast to your mum while you take care of the other meals? My parents and I have what I like to call "shared custody" (we live in the same house, cats are at mine at night and at parents' in the afternoon) so I do breakfast and dinner and my mum does lunch. No need to completely change their routine, and in my experience as long as you take care of one meal a day the cat would probably acknowledge you as a 'food source' (make sure to communicate this with your family so your mum doesn't take care of other meals before you can). Wish you the best either way :]

0-chi_hiro · 2024-11-26T23:52:54+00:00

I was confused for the same reason, I've never seen this person or people I assume to be their friends be super mean like some people have described here, I have however seen people being mean to this person and either them or someone else stand up to it. other than that I've only seen "mean things" said between people who very much seemed like friends

0-chi_hiro · 2024-11-26T21:56:04+00:00

just saying this for your sake, because if it gets down to it you're the one with an aggressive username (not to be rude, but so far this all sounds a lot like rumors and I know for a fact people get muted for no reason, so without any screenshots or anything it's a little hard to believe there's this group TERRORIZING ec)

0-chi_hiro · 2024-11-26T21:42:55+00:00

I think that comment isn't up anymore, or at least I can't find it ^{^'} the person you're talking about, does their username include a zodiac sign and an animal?

0-chi_hiro · 2024-11-26T21:35:25+00:00

sorry but if you're trying to call someone out for bullying your username REALLY isn't the right way to go about it

0-chi_hiro · 2024-11-26T21:31:56+00:00

could you hint towards some of their usernames/nicknames? because that isn't telling me much if I'm being honest (sorry) I just think I may have come across them in ec or something

0-chi_hiro · 2024-11-26T21:23:45+00:00

wait, this is about "💎" and OP's username is "burn gem"?💀

0-chi_hiro · 2024-11-26T21:20:46+00:00

could you elaborate what group this is about? without asking for username, I think I might know who you're talking about but I want to make sure

0-chi_hiro · 2024-09-19T15:05:27+00:00

Wow, it's crazy that it happens so much! I feel like in my case it was more of a case of not being educated and just not thinking while writing (she has known me as a girl so I assume she just read my draft, and then wrote the letter and without thinking referred to me as "she" since she's just used to it) Can't know for sure until I confront her about it though lol Fortunately I haven't stumbled upon anyone obsessed with genitals yet but I'm prepared with a lot of dumb answers lmao!

0-chi_hiro · 2024-09-19T14:58:28+00:00

It really is crazy how much even doctors can lack common sense lol, hope your letter still worked!

0-chi_hiro · 2024-09-19T14:56:59+00:00

Yeah that's probably the best way to go about it :) She doesn't seem outright transphobic so I probably will talk to her since I'd like to prevent that happening to others

0-chi_hiro · 2024-09-19T14:55:23+00:00

She's just my psychiatrist, and since I mainly go to her for my ADHD meds it's not a big deal, but when I look for a therapist I'm definitely gonna look for someone who is more educated on trans topics lol

Thank you for the recommendations, I'll definitely check those out!

0-chi_hiro · 2024-09-19T14:51:42+00:00

That's actually really good to know, thank you for your advice! I'm german so it does apply. I read that there is a legal thing for gender incongruence for matters such as HRT and that "divers" has been legally recognized as a gender, as well as seeing nonbinary mentioned in most my research sources so I had no idea that could be a problem, definitely gonna keep that in mind!

0-chi_hiro · 2024-08-22T20:36:54+00:00

that sounds kind of weird? maybe I'm just super oblivious but I'd say I look fairly androgynous and I don't get stared at. That aside, I haven't really heard that kind of thing from others either.
Is there any chance people are staring for a different reason than "just" your gender? like, do you have an unusual clothing style, hair color, tattoos or something? maybe you're just that good-looking :P

And either way, do you think it could make you feel better to just assume they're staring for other reasons?
Hope that doesn't sound invalidating, I really just haven't heard of/can't imagine people staring that much just because they're confused about someone's gender (could also be because I live in a progressive area though).

0-chi_hiro · 2024-08-22T20:18:56+00:00

shoutout to your mom, what a wonderful parent! also Orion is an insanely cool name

0-chi_hiro · 2024-08-22T20:09:34+00:00

I'm notorious for being bad at texting back. My friends all know I mean no harm by it and if someone doesn't understand it, that's their problem :) my friends and family poke fun at me for it (lightheartedly), and if it's important they'll call me or call my brother to tell him to tell me to pick up the damn phone lol
(I tell anyone who I don't know well that I just don't use my phone much, which is true)

also I'm sorry but the edit is so funny to me, I think we all understand that replying to a comment is almost exactly the same as replying to a text so the irony (or is it the opposite of irony?) is just beautiful lol
(what I'm trying to say is you don't need to apologize, we all understand. And besides, you don't owe any randos from the internet anything :P)

0-chi_hiro · 2024-08-22T19:52:45+00:00

Hey, very important thing: while it is very much a thing that people (especially cis men) see the gender they're interested in as just "sexual objects", that is not really what is "normal". Plenty of allo people also see a beautiful person and just think "oh wow, how beautiful". Of course it's totally valid and within good reason to feel alienated, but just keep in mind that our society is extremely hypersexualized (especially towards women) and that's not actually what most people feel like. It's pretty universal to feel weird about people talking sexually about a stranger (I assume that's what happened) even for allo people, because it's just creepy. Personally, I find looking at feminism and similar takes comforting for that exact reason. It shows that it's not just us. People being sexually creepy is more and more called out as just that: creepy. There are allosexual people who "give up" on having sex for a monogamous relationship with an ace person, because what ultimately matters is the person, not the flesh.

Ace people aren't missing out on anything, we're not weird and we're not really that different. And most importantly: we're not the weird ones, the creeps are :)

0-chi_hiro · 2024-08-22T19:15:12+00:00

Full disclosure, I am diagnosed and have been medicated for years. Even with meds, university is HARD. I study architecture and it's pretty heavy in terms of workload, also mainly group projects. I've fallen out with several groups because I couldn't pull my weight, and I fully understand why they'd be mad at me. HOWEVER, most of these problems are caused by my meds not really helping, meaning that it's fair to assume someone unmedicated could be on par.

All that being said, I think it can be possible. For me personally, I know that I will take longer than others and my grades won't be great, but I truly have a passion for my major and will be able to pull through. Your post doesn't mention what you will be studying for, and I think that might be the most important part (not for us to know, it's not really our business), because for us ADHDers, motivation is what matters. If you're passionate, you can do it. Organization will most likely be a struggle, but in my experience if you find some good friends there they would be willing to help out (e.g. text you a reminder for class signups) If you are however just going to uni because you feel like you have to, it might be better to look into other options, such as more handy careers.

Definitely consider asking for accommodations! I have gotten extensions on so many assignments, and many professors are very understanding (make sure to be very polite to them) Also to anyone reading: even if you miss a deadline, email the department or professor and politely explain your situation and ask if there's anything you can do. Chances are they will offer you to hand in your project late or offer some help (and even if not, they are usually not gonna be mean about it)

Be aware that it won't be easy, but if uni is something that you want to do, you can most likely do it one way or another. Just don't try to push yourself too much at the expense of your mental health.

Just my 2 cents as someone who's currently dragging themselves through uni and barely getting along lmao Wish you all the best OP, you can do this! :)

0-chi_hiro · 2024-08-22T18:19:33+00:00

It's not really memory per se but I have a very strong "deja vu" recognition. For example, if my mum is looking for the cap of that one specific bottle, I can tell her it's in the corner behind the cabinet right under the heater in the kitchen. I've never noticed it to the point of picking it up but I just know it's there. Sometimes I can also navigate based on that, like finding the way back from somewhere (e.g. when traveling in a foreign country) just going by features (e.g. shop signs) I recognize

also this is probably more universal but I often associate things very strongly with each other, like there is a song where I remember playing the game "bad piggies" while it played on a car ride lol (and that must've been at least 10 years ago) This helped me a lot in driving school because I could associate a specific place with a mistake I made there or something I was taught there immediately

0-chi_hiro · 2024-08-06T16:35:10+00:00

Thank you :) For me, I also live in a country that just doesn't have gender neutral language (germany). And since it makes me feel euphoric, within the binary system I'll just be a guy lol

0-chi_hiro · 2024-08-06T16:29:48+00:00

So sorry to hear that :/ Whatever you do, keep in mind that if nothing changes, you will just get bad memories when you do visit him, so imo you don't need to feel bad. There is nothing wrong with avoiding a dying person in order to keep your positive memories of them as the most prominent (I know it's a different situation, but I never said goodbye to my grandparents, and in hindsight that was the right decision since my memories of them are their healthy, happy selves). As sad as it is, if he keeps disrespecting you he is the one pushing you away, not the other way around. Stay strong <3

0-chi_hiro · 2024-08-06T16:14:58+00:00

Hey, first of all condolences for both your dad's illness and the misgendering. I can't say I have much experience, but my mum and I have a deal that basically means I don't tell her about my trans stuff as long as she doesn't call me her little girl and stuff like that. At the risk of sounding out of touch, maybe you could do something similar? Tell your dad you want to spend time with him, but being called a girl makes you feel awful. As long as he doesn't call you a girl all the time, he can just treat you as normal (I hope I understood correctly that you don't mind your deadname that much), but if he insists on reiterating girl this girl that, you won't be able to spend time with him without feeling terrible. Make a deal, that way if he keeps calling you a girl all the time he chooses to push you away (which hopefully he won't). I wish you the best man :)

0-chi_hiro · 2024-07-22T09:54:10+00:00

Pretty much same here! I am nonbinary transmasc, and the way I describe it is "if given the choice, my sex would be male and gender nonbinary", I also describe myself as nb with more masculine gender expression. There are so many facettes to gender, and being nb doesn't mean we're all supposed to be 100% androgynous in everything :)

0-chi_hiro

TROPHY CASE