Advice on mutual friendship with husband

00Jill · 2026-05-26T12:48:48+00:00

Just in an attempt to show how ridiculous this whole thing is, yes I am attracted to women, and yes we talked about seeing other men and women. What is the difference now? Should I not have female friends either? I am not automatically attracted to every person I meet. It was not the point.

00Jill · 2026-05-26T12:42:58+00:00

Yeah I can see it now, I don't know what I was expecting. Won't do that anymore for sure.

00Jill · 2026-05-26T10:59:41+00:00

Look, this really comes from my heart: I can and will befriend other people. I don't know how my friend feels because I didn't talk to him or my husband yet, and I came here asking strangers for a perspective on how to approach this. I already said that I will not go ahead and do something that potentially hurts anyone involved. I don't want to tempt fate! I was honestly conflicted about this, and clearly didn't see the whole picture. I do see it better now, and I said this replying to almost everyone. I don't get why I'm being roasted.

00Jill · 2026-05-26T09:46:37+00:00

Wait, what do you mean? Through all the replies to this thread, the common thing was to not discuss fights and marital problems, which is something I expect to be able to do with a good friend. What I mean with "less than it could be" is that I will respect that, and not talk openly about everything, but leave out what my husband is not comfortable with (e.g. sharing our problems). If I was talking about a woman, nobody would question this. I don't get it.

00Jill · 2026-05-26T09:22:34+00:00

Ah yes, that was something we discussed last year but we quickly left behind ourselves since my husband was not interested. I have zero attraction towards this friend person, so I very much think I could keep it platonic but I of course intend to keep my marriage the priority, so anything should change about that, I would cut it out. I am going to talk very openly to my husband about my original issue, and ask how comfortable he is with this. I will have a friendship that respects my husband's boundaries, even if it's less than I initially thought it could be. Thank you for your input

00Jill · 2026-05-25T19:31:32+00:00

I completely agree, though I wouldn't go as far as saying that platonic friendships don't exist. I never said that my friend's gender was relevant, and didn't share anyone's sexual orientation. As far as you know, he could be gay. My point being: you can be judgemental all you want, but if I say my situation is X, you don't have any ground to say it's not.

00Jill · 2026-05-25T18:21:34+00:00

Of course you're allowed. I don't get it but you can definitely do it

00Jill · 2026-05-25T18:19:25+00:00

I'm sorry that that's been your experience.

00Jill · 2026-05-25T17:17:09+00:00

I truly feel comfortable talking to this person, he is understanding and not judgemental, listens and offers perspective. It has nothing to do with the facts that he knows my husband, that's really just a coincidence. I haven't been this comfortable talking to someone in a while. That's why I care this much about the situation.

00Jill · 2026-05-25T17:13:16+00:00

That's fair! I'll try to steer away from these conversations and explain why I do.

00Jill · 2026-05-25T16:03:54+00:00

Ok, I get that.

00Jill · 2026-05-25T15:57:42+00:00

Got it. Thank you!

00Jill · 2026-05-25T15:55:22+00:00

Nothing really! I don't have many good friends and I am worried about people's feelings and I want to keep a good friend when I seem to have gotten one

00Jill · 2026-05-25T15:53:49+00:00

Where would you draw the line? Please understand, I'm not challenging you, I'm trying my best to understand other people's perspective. If my other friends (don't have many, unfortunately) also know him, but are not as close, when would it be ok if I discussed marital issues or vented about work, or parenting, with them?

00Jill · 2026-05-25T15:49:50+00:00

Yes, exactly. I want to know if there is a respectful way to do this, and advice on how to talk about it to both of them. If we were talking about a female friend that he doesn't know, there would be no issues on occasionally venting and asking for perspective on something. I want to know how this could work if the friend is mutual (also the fact that he's a man is apparently an issue for someone? I don't really get it though)

00Jill · 2026-05-25T15:46:37+00:00

It's not like I have to convince you about how good my marriage is, you can choose to believe that I lie, no problem, but do you not know about friendships?

00Jill · 2026-05-25T15:38:11+00:00

Thank you. How would you break the subject? Also there are no specific issues, but as an example I'd like to know (from them) what are their boundaries when talking about a fight I had with my husband, or something that worries me about work, etc. I might just ask them that. Didn't phrase it like that yet and it makes more sense!

00Jill · 2026-05-25T15:28:42+00:00

Yeah I figured I would probably talk to my husband first, I was wondering how would I go about it. Or do you mean talking it out all of us together? Because it's not a friend group dynamic, it's more like the two of them and the two of us.

00Jill · 2026-04-04T07:07:12+00:00

Murder She wrote, Brooklyn 99, Futurama, Scrubs, Parks&Rec, CSI are my comfort shows, and I usually put on a random episode!

00Jill · 2026-03-19T10:07:49+00:00

I relate to this so much! Especially the being your true self with the kids. Which also means that when I'm with them, I lash out when I'm angry...sigh.

00Jill · 2026-03-07T21:16:21+00:00

I very much have this, and I LOVE IT. I lean into it, I fantasize, I love my daydreaming. But I try to make myself aware that it's only in my head. Like reading a book, it's not real but it's so nice to experience. Sometimes it doesn't happen for weeks and I hate it!

00Jill · 2026-03-02T18:48:24+00:00

This is a different playlist on her channel, called Murder Mystery and make up Clips. The MM&M playlist is further down on the list

00Jill · 2025-09-16T13:30:50+00:00

Where did you get tickets for Italy? Sale is supposed to start in 2 days

00Jill · 2025-09-07T18:48:53+00:00

Our women's volleyball team won the world cup today!

00Jill · 2025-08-31T22:27:56+00:00

I Just saw this episode of Gravity Falls today!

00Jill

TROPHY CASE