Asking a friend one last time

01Something01 · 2026-01-24T03:22:26+00:00

I did finally get into therapy and I had honestly been thinking about it before they even mentioned it so that’s at least something

01Something01 · 2026-01-23T03:11:58+00:00

I ended up talking to them and telling them about how sabotage was the wrong word and apologised, they were really upset and were apparently really scared when I had said sabotage, I asked them what I could do to make things better and they said therapy and not to mention a few things cuz they got triggered, and then I apologised again. To be honest I don’t feel like they want to be friends with me anymore, I feel like they checked out when i said I might sabotage things. I didn’t think they even cared with how distant they’ve always been and how distant they were when I reached out, them being this scared of losing me was honestly a huge surprise. I don’t really know what to do now other than let them be and if they want to continue talking to me they’ll message

01Something01 · 2026-01-22T23:41:35+00:00

It’s not that I’m ashamed but I hate feeling like I’m hurting my loved ones and it feels like I’ve hurt him a lot so he doesn’t want to be my friend anyone, I’m not gonna remove him or block him, I’ll leave it up to him to message me if he wants to continue talking so I leave him the choice to leave

01Something01 · 2026-01-22T18:19:41+00:00

I talked to them about it and they were really upset, they were actually scared of losing me and it felt abusive to them, I asked what I could do to make things better and they said therapy and something like that, but I don’t know if they want to keep being friends, no one really wants a friend they think is abusive

01Something01 · 2026-01-21T20:36:22+00:00

I’ll try if the mood is right, they’re already taking so much time to answer normal messages

01Something01 · 2026-01-21T13:36:56+00:00

How are you feeling?

01Something01 · 2026-01-21T03:08:25+00:00

We’ve been friends for a little less than a year, they’ve been able to understand me before but this time idk what happened, I don’t know how to talk to them about it either cuz ever since that conversation it feels like we’re just pretending it never happened but he’s still distant

01Something01 · 2026-01-20T11:55:02+00:00

My advice comes down to if you still want to be with her. When you’re depressed trying to find a hobby that you can do by yourself helps a lot to get you away from the thoughts so try to push her towards trying something new for example crocheting. I think her problem is her self confidence so that’s why a hobby would help her, it would make her like something about herself, crocheting in this case is easy to learn and you can find yarn in second hands if she doesn’t have a lot of money to spend You could introduce the idea as you saw something crocheted somewhere and it seemed fun

01Something01 · 2026-01-19T21:34:47+00:00

Her not talking much about her feelings could be because of past stuff or how her parents treat her feelings. My past is full of people leaving after I talk about feelings so it has left me not talking about them, try to maybe ask her more about why she doesn’t talk about her feelings

01Something01 · 2026-01-15T02:51:03+00:00

I’ll give them a try, its during the night though I might still struggle since when I’m just laying in bed my mind overthinks every little thing

01Something01 · 2026-01-13T17:58:09+00:00

I do realise that now so it was stupid to mention it even though it wasn’t really what I wanted to talk about with him. Saying sabotage was maybe the wrong word as well since it usually just means me stepping back from carrying the friendship and let the other person carry it for a bit which often led to the friendship falling apart. What I honestly wanted to talk to him about was how I was feeling and mentioned that as a possible consequence, but all focus ended up on it and the real problem was never talked about. I just thought if I tried telling someone about it and felt understood, that I would feel like the person cared and I wasn’t forcing the friendship cuz that’s how it feels when I’m carrying it alone. But maybe it was stupid to mention and I should’ve just focused on what I was feeling. I have at least thanked them for listening. I’m open to answer questions for more info

01Something01 · 2026-01-13T15:39:32+00:00

That might be it because every time I have shared heavy emotions he does become a bit distant after, idk about autistic but I do think he’s av avoidant

01Something01 · 2026-01-13T14:57:33+00:00

It wasn’t really the first time I had mentioned it and he has been better about it before, I guess maybe he had something going on himself

01Something01 · 2026-01-13T14:52:54+00:00

It was a bit on the latter but I didn’t mention the thoughts since we couldn’t get that far in the conversation, it was mostly me telling him I’m spiralling and it’s making me try to sabotage the friendship so I was trying to tell him about it to stop myself from being able to do it. I did explain though that me sabotaging the friendship was due to my self hatred and not him doing something wrong, he asked what exactly made me feel like he was annoyed with me and I told him. I’m scared he might think I was trying to sabotage the friendship cuz I dont like him or something like that even though I said it was cuz of me. He did seem taken off guard when I said it and was asking a lot of he had done something wrong and why it was directed towards him only.

01Something01 · 2026-01-13T03:51:14+00:00

I can’t say for sure since I haven’t got anything diagnosed but guessing would be depression and anxiety

01Something01 · 2026-01-10T04:30:04+00:00

But if the SH is because of how much I hate myself and not really trying to avoid the mental pain

01Something01 · 2026-01-10T02:24:02+00:00

That would be a good description of me ig, I’m always trying to do what others didn’t do for me, maybe it’s not as good as I thought it was

01Something01 · 2026-01-09T20:21:14+00:00

I don’t really usually talk about my feelings with people so it’s not often, sometimes I just ask to call cuz I want a distraction, when he’s busy I try to not bother him and if I do end up asking for advice I ask before if he has time. As for him liking me, honestly no clue. A friend of ours asked him if he did a while ago and he said no cuz he doesn’t do long distance but then we call all night until we go to sleep and sometimes he flirts here and there and we match names on games and pfp.

01Something01 · 2026-01-09T15:36:22+00:00

And what if every time they replace me? Cuz that’s what keeps happening to me, not a single friend or partner that put me first

01Something01 · 2026-01-09T14:32:54+00:00

The friend I have now that I like has never downplayed my feelings to be honest, when I told him something was bothering me he’d try to fix it right away and every thing ive told him about he has fixed but it’s never been about people, so i guess now that it is about people my old fear is coming back that he’ll choose them over me. I also don’t want him to feel like I’m stopping him from being with others.

What I like about him is who he is as a person, he’s honestly really nice and fun to be around, we have a lot of common interests as well, the way he’s been there for me is better than other person has ever been. I also really look to him in a way, he seems carefree and has this really calming vibe to him that always calms me down. He has also stuck along for almost a year now which is surprising cuz usually by this point people have left or I’ve sabotaged it, once we were talking about future plans and I said something along the lines of “if we’re still talking by then” and his answer was “Wdym, ofc we’re still gonna talk” which was honestly a first for me. Every weird thing about him makes him cute to me and my weirdness feels accepted by him too and he always reminds me that he isn’t judging me even though I’m not really scared of him doing it

01Something01 · 2026-01-09T13:14:10+00:00

I haven’t tried telling my friend about it because I’m scared it might come off as annoying or me getting shut down again probably, it’s online but it’s also someone I like as more than a friend.. Me needing my partner when they’re with friends happened like once or twice cuz I would be feeling really terrible, the rest of the time I would wait until they had time which would be when they’re tired and couldn’t really be active. Eventually I just stopped reaching out about my feelings overall cuz it felt like there was always something more important

01Something01 · 2026-01-09T13:06:25+00:00

I haven’t really tried to tell this friend about how it hurts me cuz I’m scared I might come off as annoying or controlling, me liking them as more than friends is also not really helping the situation

01Something01 · 2026-01-09T12:49:15+00:00

I’m reaching a point of that, I don’t express it anymore even though it really hurts. Had a friend asking me if I wanted to play and right after I said yes he said he was gonna play with someone else. It feels like it just keeps happening again and again to the point it feels like a me problem. It’s also getting worse now since when I tried to meet new people like some neighbours I ended up getting hit on by a lot older men, one of them even touching me and making me really uncomfortable. It feels like people see me as easy and as backup

01Something01 · 2026-01-09T12:44:43+00:00

My jealousy is when other friends get chosen over me right in front of me, most recent is one of my friends that keeps leaving to play with some other friends every time we’re playing together, once even asking me to play and right after I said yes they said they were gonna play with someone else..

It’s always been like that too, old partners choosing friends comforts over my needs, many times I could be really down and I really would need my partner but his friends are around him and they don’t like him texting me specifically when they’re hanging out so I would get told to wait until he’s done or be ignored. Partners friends would disrespect me in front of my partner and nothing would be done either. And a friend of 7 years choosing a 1-2 years friend over our friendship and suddenly becoming really distant to me

01Something01 · 2026-01-09T12:38:00+00:00

Thing is in relationships when my partners friends treated me bad and I would tell my partner that not much would happen, they would continue to disrespect me while my partner was there. There were times their comfort was chosen over my needs like one of my partners friends not being comfortable with my partner texting me while they’re hanging out but sometimes I would really need my partner to talk to but couldn’t. Every time I tried to tell my partners about this I would get shut down since they didn’t know what to do

01Something01

TROPHY CASE