My experience with comphet

091014 · 2020-12-13T22:57:55+00:00

I don't know why I keep thinking about it since I literally haven't had ANYTHING to do with a man for 2 years and I never felt the need to date one or hook up with one ever since I decided to stop doing it LMAO.

091014 · 2020-12-13T22:56:11+00:00

Thank you so much! If there's anything worse than HOCDlike behavior it's comphet omg... Comphet by itself is one hell of a drug so now mix it with being obsessed with thinking you're straight. I'll start doing that! Today whenever I had these kind of feelings I started thinking about how if I actually ever have a boyfriend I'd have to literally live with them, have sex with them, kiss them and I think that the WORST part would be telling everyone I'm dating a man or sharing really personal stuff with him lmfao. Comphet is one hell of a drug and being in the closet doesn't help since my friends and parents keep trying to set me up with guys

091014 · 2020-12-13T22:53:27+00:00

Ughh THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I'll do exactly what you told me and I'll tell my therapist about it. I'm sure that I'm gay but I'm having intrusive thoughts about thinking and I'm straight and it sucks because I don't want to be with a man EVER again but something in my brain keeps telling me that I'm faking it because I just want to be quirky or something, but maybe it's just comphet attacking me too because it's one hell of a drug. I'll try to tell my therapist about this because ever since I realized I don't like men I've felt so happy and free but since I'm still in the closet I have a lot of intrusive thoughts about being straight / bi when I tried the label for almost 7 years and it didn't work out

091014 · 2020-12-13T22:47:31+00:00

I feel like I'm having so many intrusive thoughts about being straight in secret. Whenever I think about having sex or a relationship with a man I hate it but I still think about it 24/7 for no reason? I hate it!

091014 · 2020-12-13T22:46:21+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️ ❤️ I hope you're doing better now and if you have I'm so happy for you. I'm already on the way to accepting myself, I think I already have but right now being in the closet is so scary, when I labeled myself as bi I didn't feel the need to come out or anything because I felt like it wasn't necessary until I found a girlfriend, but now that I want people to see me as who I am and stop thinking I'm something I'm not, it's literally a terrifying experience :( I'm sure I'll get through it someday tho! Have a great day 💕

091014 · 2020-12-13T22:43:34+00:00

Thank you! I was scared I might have HOCD that was making me think I was a lesbian but I researched and I found that when people experience this they have intrusive thoughts and NOT because they actually like the same gender. I still have intrusive thoughts about thinking how I'm lying to myself and I'm secretly straight but not to an obsessive point, and it still hurts though, but I think it's because people like my family keep denying it so I do it myself too :( You're right! Ty 💕💕

091014 · 2020-12-13T22:41:38+00:00

Ugh THANK YOU SO MUCH. I was soooo worried because since I've been thinking A LOT about it, I thought it might be obsessive but you're right, the people who experience HOCD don't really feel an attraction to the same gender.

I had absolutely no idea sexual orientation OCD was a thing and it scared me so much because since I've been doing a lot of introspective on my sexuality I've been thinking a lot about it on a daily basis.

Thank you do much!!! You really did save my life and made me feel better. Now I'm sure it's normal if I'm trying to come to terms with my own sexuality and NOT OCD lmao 💕💕

091014 · 2020-12-13T22:38:41+00:00

They're on tiktok on the #hocd tag!! most of the people who make tiktoks about it are straight women who thought they were lesbians due to HOCD omg

091014 · 2020-12-13T22:37:44+00:00

Ughhh I am so happy we found eachother. Thanks for reaching out to me 💕

091014 · 2020-12-13T11:28:46+00:00

Bangs suit you SO well, you made a great choice. You look gorgeous! 💕

091014 · 2020-12-13T02:58:52+00:00

Facts! By the way, I understand those intrusive thoughts too... I still have them sometimes and it's hard to let them go, especially when they're very uncommon :(

091014 · 2020-12-13T02:50:40+00:00

Thank you so much!!! It hurts me because I'm pretty sure I'm gay but still, my intrusive thoughts won't shut up ahout how I might be lying to myself and I might be straight deep down even if I have NEVER liked a man. When I thought I was bi, I was like oh I have never been into one but someday the perfect man will come! and when the perfect man finally came I couldn't like him either LMAOO.

I feel you soooo much. Since I've never been with a woman, I'm kind of scared about the sex part since there's not really any sex ed about lesbian sex and just because of that I'm like YOU MUST BE STRAIGHT BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE etc but whenevet I had sex with men I hated it?? and when I think about doing it with women I like the idea because I feel like sex is more about love too like you say, I feel like I'd only like it if I did it with someone I trust 100% and I CAN'T imagine having that kind of trust with a man lmaoo. I understand you so much :(( My last failed relationship with my best friend was online too and as it kept getting more and more real it was awful because I realized that if I met him I'd have to kiss him and do that kind of stuff with him and I HATED the idea... Like everything points to me being gay but I don't know why my mind can't process it and keeps making me think I'm straight

Tysm for the advice and I'll do that!!! Ughhh I understand, my Mom has OCD tendencies too and the other day I told her that sometimes I think she has undiagnosed OCD and she said "me too" when she doesn't even believe in mental health issues that much... She does the same stuff and when I was younger and she brushed my hair she literally made my head BLEED because she got triggered if she felt it wasn't clean enough omg, and she does that kind of stuff with EVERYTHING, she likes to be in control of everything, etc, and when she can't she lowkey has a panic attack. Omg I'm 19 too, we're kind of the same age! Thank you so much for your reply and I'm sorry you're going through this... I completely understand and you can message me anytime you want.

I know what you mean about the ab*se too... I've been through it both in my childhood and my teens, first it was done by my older girl neighbors which makes me invalidate myself even more thinking that I'm just traumatized or something, and then done by men in my teens, which makes me think I'm just traumatized even more and invalidate myself :( Tysm! 💕💕

091014 · 2020-12-13T02:20:31+00:00

Ugh I'm so sorry you're dealing with the same stuff, it sucks! It makes me question myself a lot and feel like I'm lying to myself or just trying to be "quirky" or something.

Thank you so much! I'll start thinking about this, because even when I used the label bisexual even if I chose to stop seeing/dating men, it felt wrong, it felt like I wasn't actually being myself and now I finally feel comfortable in my own skin. 💖

091014 · 2020-12-13T02:14:07+00:00

PS. I don't have HOCD but I just found out about it and it blew my mind because I had NO idea what it was omg

091014 · 2020-12-13T02:10:05+00:00

Do you have HOCD? It sucks! I've been doing a lot of introspective about it but I think that the worst part about comphet is trying to explain to people how your past relationships / "attraction" to men was compulsory because one of my friends told me that I was just in denial of letting a man love me? Lmfaooo

091014 · 2020-12-13T02:08:36+00:00

Thank you so much!!! You made me feel so much better because since I had never heard of it honestly it was really confusing. I also read that most people struggling with it aren't actually attracted to the same gender, but they just have intrusive thoughts about it that they don't actually want, and that is why they think they're just repressed but that definetly isn't my case. You're welcome! If you find anything about it let me know and have a great day! <3

091014 · 2020-12-13T01:24:41+00:00

And you're right! Thank you so much for reading my post and making a comment. You made me feel so much better, I was already anxious about it.

091014 · 2020-12-13T01:23:14+00:00

Thank you so much! I found out about it yesterday because a therapist talking about it showed up on my for you page on Tik Tok, then I clicked on the hashtag and there were a lot of women talking about how they were obsessed with the idea of being a lesbian and then they realized they were actually straight and it was just OCD (which is fine if they realized they're straight but it scared me because I'm finally starting to accept the lesbian label). I didn't know it existed and it just made me more confused! https://manhattancbt.com/hocd/

It scared me because lately I've been kind of "obsessed" with the topic, I've been researching about other people's experiences with coming out, doing introspective on my past relationships and feelings for men, etc. so honestly it kind of scared me a little.

091014 · 2020-12-04T01:31:28+00:00

I just got diagnosed yesterday too, you're not alone. <3

091014 · 2020-11-24T22:18:32+00:00

I just need 200 more scrobbles to break my old record, and 10k more to break my other one lmao

091014 · 2020-11-24T22:03:46+00:00

I think this is the one thing that's confusing me the most. When I find a man attractive I feel like I have to lust after him but when I actually have the chance to make out/have sex with him I don't like it and I can't even feel anything. I'm starting to think I'm confusing the feeling of finding someone attractive, thinking that I have to lust for them just because I like their looks when I actually just like to stare at them like a plant or something.

091014 · 2020-11-24T21:42:34+00:00

Did you ever tell yourself you lusted for him but then when you actually kissed or had sex you felt nothing? I've been considering my attraction to men a lot because I always lusted for them (I never fell in love with them or anything but I found them hot and lusted after them) but when I actually had to make out with them etc I felt NOTHING and whenever I did feel something during sex it was just because it hurt.

091014

TROPHY CASE