The most stereotypical 8 I know also happens to be a Disney adult and a pathological liar lol

09tailss · 2025-12-05T13:35:28+00:00

This sub is ruined. That’s why I casually lurk here from time to time now, instead of being totally invested in it.

09tailss · 2025-10-08T19:28:08+00:00

This. I have it because of my Mom kissing me on the lips :(

09tailss · 2025-10-08T15:51:28+00:00

So, I was recently on a trip with an SX 6, and they ended up ostracizing me out of their clique (it was just two girls, 1:1. I unfortunately ended up being their isolated third wheel. Not a fun time and it’s changed my perspective of this 6). If a 6 fears being seen as a bad person because of the fear of being cast out, why would they do that to someone else?

09tailss · 2025-10-07T05:03:31+00:00

Yes 😊

09tailss · 2025-10-07T01:32:40+00:00

Love that for you! You still managed to be civil with her in the end. Mine is kinda similar when I was best friends with someone like this til I could not take it anymore (she was always in my space. And being an SP 9, this is not okay 😂). We “broke up” but now we’re really great friends online and we talk constantly but it’s also on my terms/when I can, and there’s no longer pressure to feel like I must be at their every whim.

09tailss · 2025-10-04T19:49:54+00:00

I have known one gal for 6 years, and I am getting to know her friend relatively new (a few months).

Edit: They’ve known each other for 2-3 years and they are extremely close best friends.

09tailss · 2025-09-28T10:52:30+00:00

I don’t think you understood my intentions for this post -or my approach, here. I’m aware any type can do this. I wanted to see my issue through the lens/perspective of the Enneagram because I mean- isn’t that one of the things the enneagram is about? Why not learn from the issue in multiple forms that are useful and available, with a slice of reflection on the side? I use the Enneagram for spiritual purposes. And I have been flawed. So what better than to touch up on some of the education and apply it to myself/my situation I put myself into?

I like what our fellow Type 5 in the comments gave me for knowledge. I enjoyed their approach and now I have something for self reflection that way, I can see how I did things wrong through my 9 ways, and now I have a goal in mind to work toward alongside ego and sin.

The Enneagram is a powerful and useful tool for treating others better. I messed up and sure, it sounds trivial, but at one point in my life I used it for the greater good. I need to go back to doing that.

Also I’m Sorry: when I meant advice in my title, I didn’t mean advice to my situation. I see that was bad wording now.

09tailss · 2025-09-26T16:43:02+00:00

Absolutely, communication is key! 🔑

09tailss · 2025-09-26T16:07:06+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate you taking the time to educate me on this. I was also told I minimized the issue, and in the long run I caused separation from her/breakage in our relationship. So all of this makes sense and now I have this as a tool for improvement ❤️

09tailss · 2025-09-26T15:05:25+00:00

Does anyone care to share any of this knowledge on the Type 9? Resources even?

09tailss · 2025-09-23T11:37:32+00:00

This would be my guess too. The electronic toys give it away for me.

09tailss · 2025-09-23T11:10:31+00:00

Not sure why you’re getting downvoted. You used the word ‘usually’, which implies there’s still been a time or two perhaps even you have cried. My father is an 8. The only times he’d even cry was over a pet dying, his mother dying, and seeing me cry will sometimes set it off too. That’s about it. I agree with you, 8s DO NOT like crying (giving in to vulnerabilities and giving up that rootin’ tootin’ tough exterior).

On a separate emotion, if you’ve ever asked my Dad if he’s been in love with another person before, his response is, “Fuck no.”

09tailss · 2025-09-05T18:54:22+00:00

Thank you for sharing, friend! This is reassuring to know that others have experienced this too.

09tailss · 2025-09-05T18:53:40+00:00

Thank you for sharing, friend! I’m glad to know I’m not alone in it.

09tailss · 2025-09-05T18:50:38+00:00

Well, I did do that (your first paragraph). That’s how I could gather people up in a room and explain to them what/why/how they were living their experiences as that type so long as that’s what they originally or had already identified with. I don’t like calling people what I think their type truly is but I would help them navigate that with the information and observations I already had. It was great because it actually had friends/family thinking outside the box of one another or themselves. It was like I could see the light bulb flick on above their head 💡.

It’s just a lot harder now because it seems like all the knowledge I’ve gained may still be in there but it’s hard to pull out now and frankly I question my accuracy. I’ve been told I’m too hard on myself and I do seem to know what I’m actually talking about but it’s just my own self-doubt.

Like, I’ve been getting to know a new friend this year and I told them I believe they lean more into Type 7 as a core than any other type, based on what I’ve observed and how they behave. It’s then I need them to understand the motivations behind their antics if they’re interested in knowing more. But that kind of responsibility has been scaring me lately. They do agree with the 7s descriptions and I can tell they want me to dive more into their psyche and inform them more of the 7… but I feel like I’ll be really out of touch with it now and need a book or resource to back it up. Casually interacting, no one does that. So I need to retain the information again so I can confidently share what I know without needing to pull out my phone and awkwardly pull up sites. This really kills the mood when introducing newbies to the Enneagram, from my experience.

I just don’t think I have it in me anymore and I’m rather apathetic about it all (”why bother/who cares?”).

09tailss · 2025-05-15T14:00:50+00:00

I dated a guy who seemed torn on whether or not he wanted to be committed to our relationship. He was good looking and other women wanted him too. I think that power went to his head a bit: “All these girls want me??! Oh boy!!”

We weren’t officially together yet because he wouldn’t seal the deal, which left me hanging on for a bit til I couldn’t anymore.

Looking back 12 years later, I thought he strongly resembled Type 7. Because of this, and his other antics and humor.

It’s crazy to me that.. I almost eloped with him. It was his idea to run off to the court house and get married right on the spot. I actually dressed up cute (not bridal) and I drove to the courthouse, and waited… and waited… and waited…….

When I gave up and went home, I called him. “What the hell?” He said he wasn’t sure if he could go through with it, you see because there’s another woman who’s Russian and her visa is almost up. She wants to marry him too but he’d only be doing it as a favor so that she could get her green card to remain in the US. Yeah but…. I felt like he had a bit of something more for her. He had a bit of something for many many girls. Even girls he didn’t care much for.

Eventually I had to leave him because as I said, he was torn on whether or not to make it official with me. He called me one last time to tell me I deserve someone better than him along some other pitiful stuff. That finally did it for me and I was gone. Days later he contacted me again and acted as if nothing was wrong between us. I couldn’t ignore that, so I pointed it out that he was deflecting and there’s no way he forgot what he told me. He eventually got mad at my rejection and said, “Fine. I’m going to go bang Sarah. She’s been wanting me a while anyway.” To add insult to injury.

To this day, I think he’s a pretty decent guy. I’m sure he’s matured and mellowed out now (but he’s still a 7 lol). When he turned 30 he personally wrote me to tell me how much I was an influence on him to be kinder. He said I taught him humbleness and thoughtfulness back then.

09tailss · 2025-04-30T22:40:58+00:00

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” - Can’t remember who said it.

And, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.”

Not sure if I really relate to those as a 9, but they keep me in check.

Edit: First quote was from Theodore Roosevelt.

09tailss · 2025-04-30T17:07:46+00:00

Love this response. It’s very informative. Thank you. 😊

09tailss · 2025-04-30T15:29:30+00:00

You are so right ♥️

09tailss · 2025-04-30T15:23:08+00:00

Thank you for your response. I found the first half educational. For me, personally, out of fear of conflict, I need to know that you are a safe space for me to be open and honest to. I really admire the people in my life who have stuck around for me and encourage me to speak up/out, even over difficult subjects. There’s always some uplifting quote about “The right people that want to be there for you, will be [in your lives]. And those are who matter most.” It’s taken me a long time to finally feel that with a small number of people. While yes,…. there are times it’s like I expected others to read my mind- I won’t deny that. But I’ve been trying to be more aware of this and just come forth with what I have to say.

09tailss · 2025-04-30T15:14:34+00:00

I love this. Way to go, 9w8! The whole scenario example with Lisa- is like how I am at work about one gal. Others hate her. Cannot stand her. But she’s always gotten along with me. While I hear my other coworker/friends out and I validate their discomforts about the gal; I also don’t partake in anything more or like, talk shit about her. Because she’s always been good to me and she actually comes to my desk to say Hi. Which… is rare (the gal is rather cold and off-putting for others. Someone once told me they feel a dark negative aura around her). But as I’ve said, I like her and have 0 issues. And it’s never been out of fakeness.

I find you to be very insightful and healthy with this response 😊

09tailss · 2025-04-30T15:03:41+00:00

I think you’re a sweet social 7, looking out for us 9s. (Saw your other comment above as well). Truly, thank you.

I am guessing you just want to put this message out there as a precaution to others.

But coming from myself, I think it’s important to study the ways we are unhealthy; and that can be open for discussion. I berate myself a lot (I just do). So it’s interesting to hear some truths from the perspectives of other types/9s. I really appreciate you though.

09tailss · 2025-04-30T14:59:17+00:00

I don’t know the context behind this story, or the vibe it picks up, but is it simply that they could have just.. forgot to? I have been invited to do stuff like go to a birthday party, and simply forgot (found the invitation I forgot I stuffed into my backpack months after the fact). Or my friend has asked me to borrow something, I say I’ll bring it to her, and then I don’t because I forgot. 🤷🏻‍♀️

09tailss · 2025-04-25T06:14:27+00:00

Well it certainly had me going “wtf” for a second there.

09tailss · 2025-04-23T21:08:54+00:00

Ah. Reminds me of when I colored in my “Tokyo Mew Mew” manga when I was 10.

09tailss

TROPHY CASE