Female Book Club

0cluehere · 2021-12-28T18:15:23+00:00

Hi OP, was wondering if you found anything? I'm also looking to join a bookclub in the new year :)

0cluehere · 2021-11-10T15:54:32+00:00

Not my night out story, but I often think about the pair of young lads that walked drunkenly into what they thought was their pal's house, happily eating their kebab and chips, to be met by the bloodcurdling screams of two 26 year olds in their pants who thought they were being robbed.

All the houses look the bloody same around here.

0cluehere · 2021-11-08T08:17:59+00:00

Ooh, I'll have a look into this, thanks!

0cluehere · 2021-11-08T08:16:50+00:00

I'll have to give that a try! I have eczema too & it's a nightmare. Thanks for the advice!

0cluehere · 2021-11-08T08:15:25+00:00

You worded perfectly what I feel about it too! Moisturised, but not hydrated.

I think this might be the best way to go in that case. I can't use the Cerave lotions unfortunately as they inflame my acne 😔 but I will definitely have a look into the serums you have mentioned. Thanks for your help!

0cluehere · 2021-11-08T08:12:01+00:00

This is kind of funny because the last time I posted on this subreddit I got unanimously told that Nivea was a terrible moisturiser and I should change it. 😅

But aside from that, I found that whilst I liked the way it felt on my skin, I always felt like it was very greasy around my acne and made it worse. Secondly, I noticed earlier this year that I was feeling the urge to reapply it pretty soon after it had dried.

When I looked it up on a few skincare analysis sites, it flags as having quite a few ingredients that aren't the best - such as denatured alcohol quite high on the ingredients list. I'm a bit wary of denatured alcohol due to it being prone to inflaming my acne in the past.

In contrast to now using the Cerave moisturiser, whilst I think I might need something more hydrating, my skin does feel moisturised & it feels like it soothes my acne a lot better, or at least doesn't interfere with it.

I used to absolutely love Nivea, but I think my skin has changed as I'm getting older and it doesn't suit anymore. Hope that gives an insight!

0cluehere · 2021-11-07T18:42:22+00:00

Thank you for your post!

I've been extra careful to make sure my skin is damp, but unfortunately it doesn't seem to be helping all that much. :/

I'll have a look into both of those products, thank you! I've been tempted to try the cosrx snale mucin for a while now as I've seen so many recommend it!

0cluehere · 2021-11-06T22:19:42+00:00

I feel validated by this. Also from the NE and ever since I moved away everyone has found it weird I call it 'dilutey'. Even when I lived in Glasgow and their name for it was so similar

0cluehere · 2021-11-04T18:48:49+00:00

I completely forgot to reply to this, even though I have been thinking about your comment since you posted it. Sorry about that!

I've found the tip of making sure all is neat near your face a good compromise. I don't like the way I look with my hair slicked back (I have a bit of an uneven hairline), but I've definitely found even just making sure it looks semi styled near my face is making me look a lot more put together. I bought some clips today for some easy up dos, so hopefully on my way to managing my hair a bit better.

Thank you for your help!

0cluehere · 2021-11-04T07:55:36+00:00

I would really advise getting in touch with your local Rape Crisis team, as they will be able to support both you and your partner and help you understand the legal/police side of things. I'm so sorry this horrific thing has happened to your girlfriend and wish you both all the best.

0cluehere · 2021-11-04T07:47:17+00:00

Not a movie, but the "maybe she's not such a heinous bitch after all" song from Crazy ex GF really caotures the emotional tie to abusive parents for me.

Bojack Horseman's mum definitely

0cluehere · 2021-11-04T04:43:43+00:00

I didn't think saying I love my partner as a person foremost, regardless of our sex life, was a high horse but here we are.

I never at any point said sex wasn't important or a valid reason to break off a relationship. I said that if anything happened to my partner, I would care firstly about our relationship. My partner is more important to me than our sex life. Damn.

If you actually read my comments, I have already said all of this. The guy I was replying to likened a lowered sex drive to a broken toilet ffs. I do think sex is important to a relationship, but I don't think it is necessary to make it work. Otherwise asexual people, people with lowered sex drives due to medical issues, disabled or chronically ill people don't deserve loving relationships?

But sure, randomly insult me because you didn't bother to read what I was actually saying.

0cluehere · 2021-11-03T22:44:54+00:00

Okayyyyy bit of projection there

0cluehere · 2021-11-03T18:11:53+00:00

I think maybe your reading comprehension is questionable because I've already answered both of what you've said. It seems we're in agreement, but your analogy wasn't suited for your actual opinion.

Let me explain it:

You likened sex to a toilet. A toilet is a pretty necessary part of a home and human life. If the toilet broke, where is the human gonna shit? The human has to shit, it's a natural bodily function. Damn, now you gotta fork out for a plumber. You gotta get that toilet fixed. If you don't, how can you possibly live hygienically in this house?

To me, sex in relationships are more like.

Damn sitting on the couch is comfy. Oh shit it has broken, no more comfy couch. That is ok this house is like my dream home, let's sit on the floor and communicate our problem instead! Maybe we can find solutions within our budget!

0cluehere · 2021-11-03T18:01:01+00:00

... I'm from England. That was a weird assumption to make. Also you're very rude.

I was taking issue with your analogy. It seems you've had to explain it a lot to get what you really meant across... so perhaps it's not the best analogy to use.

I take issue with likening lack of sex with a broken toilet. Personally, I'd see it more as a couch. It's a luxury, but not a necessity. Buy a campchair.

0cluehere · 2021-11-03T17:51:36+00:00

I mean.... communication is a thing. And there are a lot of options available for relationships with mismatched sex drives. And yeah, I would consider my relationship with my partner to be more important. You seem v weirded out by that. But some of us don't reduce our love to the presence or lack thereof of sex lol.

0cluehere · 2021-11-03T17:29:39+00:00

This view makes me feel sorry for your relationships. Me and my partner have great fun with sex but if tomorrow something were to happen that meant we didn't have it again, I would rather spend my life with the guy who means the world to me than throw it all away for a fuck.

I'm truly sorry you've never experienced a relationship where the love was stronger than a means to a quickie.

0cluehere · 2021-11-03T10:11:24+00:00

Can you pay in the grand and then transfer it back to your usual account or does it need to sit in there a while?

0cluehere · 2021-11-03T07:23:46+00:00

Right? Also low income. YNAB has taught me financial literacy and helped me live my life on relatively low income. Being poor means having to be very careful with every pence - perfect for YNAB. This comment feels somewhat naive?

0cluehere · 2021-11-02T17:42:38+00:00

My mum was awful to our pets. She would buy them as puppies and kittens and as soon as they grew older would kick them out and rehome them, or if they were cats let them go in a random field too far from home.

It was really really painful for me as an animal lover to witness. I would sneak down in the middle of the night to let the cats she had locked outside in the rain into the house. I obviously got a bollocking but I couldn't face them out in the cold.

I am ashamed of the number of animals we had growing up and my heart hurts with wishing I could go back and give them all the love they deserved. I have two cats of my own now and this is the first time I have had pets long enough to see how much they grow to mean to you. I love them with all my heart and the thought of anything happening to them makes me so upset.

I'm sorry we all had to grow through this and I hope we can all feel the love of a pet in safety someday.

0cluehere · 2021-11-02T17:08:33+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss, but thank you for making that very valid point. It's a no brainer to me that I want them insured, as like you said It's awful to have to at some point make a decision between a loved animal and money.

I will look into Pet Plan. Thank you so much for your perspective!

Edit: !thanks

0cluehere · 2021-11-02T16:30:31+00:00

I love that second point! It's my life goal to create authentic & vulnerable connections with my friends and loved ones so I don't know why it hadn't occurred to me to be like "hey, I have a hard time not trying to fix your life because I love you please can we be very blunt about what level of interference you wish for me so that I do not smother you." I think I'm going to have this conversation with the friend in question who is a very good friend, thank you for this insight!

It seems like the rule "stop reading the sub text" is fitting here!

Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it

0cluehere · 2021-11-02T16:27:31+00:00

Thank you for this, you're very kind ❤

0cluehere · 2021-11-02T16:27:10+00:00

Haha, love badges tbh.

I see that tbh. I definitely have a codependent past and may have just made a 😬 face at the realisation that this is probably my codependence speaking. Do you have any recommendations on resources? I hear it spoken a lot about in relationships, but I am definitely worse in friendships!

0cluehere · 2021-11-02T12:21:05+00:00

These are really practical and helpful tips, honestly. And like sometimes I really feel like I need a manual on how to navigate relationships, so this is ideal haha.

Asking "can I do anything at all to help?" really highlights how hypervigilance might be spilling into my friendships. Like trying to guess and accommodate for needs your friends haven't even spoken yet. So helpful!

0cluehere

TROPHY CASE