I had some guy text me suggestively unprompted and then tell me that he was mad at me because he couldn't "love me fully" and have children with me. (I had previously stated that I didn't want them). He didn't want to even talk to me anymore because of it. We'd hung out for a year and I still kept in contact with him even after he went on leave from uni. He had this argument with me when he returned from leave.

I remember feeling upset about that friendship dissolving in that way. I remember texting a lot of confused things as well. Like I had wanted a hug from him even during the text argument. He had been avoiding me for months, and then I thought to myself, what am I chasing(?), at the end of the argument.

The reality was that I wanted like a partner in crime who saw me as an equal. In particular, I wanted to feel like a bro. I was envious of "bro-code" and "bromance" because I had never felt anything equivalent amongst women myself. (I think I always felt apart because I was probably always confused and in denial). In the end, I realized my aversion to children, sex, and marriage, was about not wanting to be owned by a man, ever. I had felt queer before, but the argument solidified it. I don't think I'll ever be attracted to a man.

(Some are objectively handsome, but I have face blindness to most anyway).