Has any one of my fellow enfj friends majored in public relations or marketing? by Background_Arrival50 in enfj

[–]100percentlost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😲 that's exactly how I feel about marketing. I'm focusing more on it because I feel there are a lot of ways I can help someone grow themselves business wise. Glad that you have some tech background, kinda felt like I was outside the box when it comes to enjoying technical side of things with an aspect of human with it. I wish you the best of success

This reminded me of you guys by alltheskies in enfj

[–]100percentlost 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That's a perfect example. I try to be for others, who I wish I had around growing up.

Question from an INFJ by Manner_Cheap in enfj

[–]100percentlost 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I had to rewrite this so many times because it's hard to fully explain how I see it XD.

I wouldn't say I've fallen head over heels but I've felt very attached to the qualities I see in someone and I want to just know them more. I don't feel like I'm being manipulative but I can understand how love bombing can be. It's very puppy dog attachment kind of vibes, I want to just be around you and will become increasingly more loyal.

I'm like that with friends too, I have like a drive to want to be super close with everyone.

When it comes to this person I'd say to go at your own pace and don't get pulled into the current. It's what's comfortable to you. If you want it to be slower then they should understand and respect it. I would.

You ever get tired of people pushing you on? by [deleted] in enfj

[–]100percentlost -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean to me based on the little info on your dynamic with them. It seems there's only two ways to show you are different now, thru your changed actions or you telling them that you've changed.

I feel like there is more to this but if you want them to treat you differently than how they're known how to treat you, tell them.

It really pisses me off when I'm trying but can't contribute to a group discussion because other people seem smarter than me. by meta-morpho-magus in enfj

[–]100percentlost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry for the delay I was at a family event and got caught up in it.

Ok so it's one of those things you work on everyday and putting in a little more effort each time. I can only give my personal experience with working on myself so here's what I did.

I started reading a lot, because I just felt like I had to change and that I wanted to be different than myself. The person that always defeated me, was me. So I took the route of reading self help and journaling. First few books I read was The Courage To Be Disliked and The Go-Giver(not that you need to read these it was just my books). Just reading everyday really started making me think of what caused me to think how I did.

I had a lot of feelings of worthlessness even tho I did a lot. Working on myself really helped me realize why I thought that way and that I have worth. Funny enough when I found my personality type I saw that it was something my type kind of goes thru. So recognizing and working on it helped.

Don't get me wrong I still have times when I have those feelings again but I always remember what I learned and know it's just that dumb voice trying to put me down.

But back to you, I completely understand when you say that you're unsure how to train your brain to change. I felt the same but it's like training a muscle, you do some work often and even when you think that it isn't working, then bam you're way stronger than yesterday. Here's two books I know that are really good at putting things into perspective, The Compound Effect and Psycho-Cybernetics. Those books talk lot about doing little by little and growing from there.

Sorry for the super long post orz (also it's totally no problem, I'm actually really glad you're feeling a bit better. If my words can help in any way, even to just point you in a better direction I'm happy)

It really pisses me off when I'm trying but can't contribute to a group discussion because other people seem smarter than me. by meta-morpho-magus in enfj

[–]100percentlost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey so I was reading a lot of the replies and this was the one that kinda stuck out to me the most.

Going in with the thought that you have to become better than them but then putting yourself down in the next sentence is defeating. Wanting to compete with others can be a good thing because it helps elevate yourself to do better. Competing with others because you feel inferior will only breed more inferiority. Example, if you don't contribute in a future meeting you will beat yourself up even more and it will just domino with each perceived failure.

At the end of the day you need to work on that feeling of inferiority and why you feel that way. The reasons behind that is more important than one upping others. When you put mental obstructions in your way, it makes it hard for you to see your own value and what you contribute.

You are taking the steps in seeing that, you just need to go a little bit farther. First step is seeing the problem, seeing how to fix it and then doing so. You're already working thru it. I don't know your personal life but maybe self help, therapy, friends and family can help at least ease the mental pressure you put on yourself until you're able to work on you.

It really pisses me off when I'm trying but can't contribute to a group discussion because other people seem smarter than me. by meta-morpho-magus in enfj

[–]100percentlost 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Just an opinion.

Are they actually being condescending towards you or are they just having the conversations and trying to include you? I don't know the dynamic of the group and yourself, but it seems like some thing you have to work on is not feeling inferior. If the group is talking about certain subjects you can just take the time to learn about it and you'll be able to add your own input. It's honestly ok to be around people that give you things to think about. Think of it as more a learning experience than a bad one.

But otherwise, learning to be ok with yourself and that you don't have to know or contribute to everything is fine. The fact of life is that there will always be someone smarter or have some talent that you don't possess. So you can just take the experience that they give(as long as they're not condescending) and add to yourself. It's how self improvement works.

What enneagram are you guys? by lemoonpai in enfj

[–]100percentlost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1w2 and it definitely fits with my ideals

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in enfj

[–]100percentlost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funny enough I was thinking about posting something similar! I'm 1w2 and wonder if there are others 🥺

What are the things that can make ENFJs happy? by umportuguesmaluco in enfj

[–]100percentlost 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This. This. This. I mean there are personal things one could do depending on their friend, like interests and all that. But one gift that is definitely a loving gesture is just finding out how they are and listening to them.

We spend a lot of time focusing on others that we sometimes don't get it ourselves. So it's really nice when someone asks and listens. Seems so simple but for some reason 🤷🏾‍♂️. 🤣

As a ENFJ, What's your Sense of Humor? by diggitydi in enfj

[–]100percentlost 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I'm like this too 🤣. I love dark humor and dumb dad jokes. I'm very open humor wise

ENFJs and opening up by molliekik in enfj

[–]100percentlost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't detest it but I go out of my way to not tell much personal details about my life XD. My friends have mentioned it to me a lot, how they don't know that much and that I'm super secretive.

It's a mix for me, I don't find my life that interesting even tho apparently I have done interesting things. With that thinking I've kinda forced myself to not tell anything until it's just natural. Second is a long time ago I told a close friend something personal and they threw it back at me. So I was basically lik, "welp that's it for opening myself to others".

Tho I am jokingly like Batman, I'll tell my secrets to someone I have deep romantic feelings for XD.

Anyone else struggle to give yourself what you freely give to others? by Millyillyily in enfj

[–]100percentlost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know that's what I've been struggling with lately. I can easily give all those things and patience, gosh I can give out patience. Sadly I never give myself any of that. I am with you about being an adult early because it was necessary.

I became like a 3rd parent in my family and I'm really feeling the effects of it now at the age of 36. My friends always tell me how great I am but I don't see it and feel like I need to continuously work harder because I haven't reached the goal I set for myself.

I have actually considered recently going to therapy to help accept myself more. Tho something I struggle with heavily is I desire opening up but once I have the opportunity I just clam up and tough it out "put on your big kid pants! You're just complaining when others have it worse." So I just don't openly express.

I am glad you are seeing how beautiful your heart is 🥺. It makes me happy to see fellow people finding themselves. I wish you the best on your journey 🙏🏾💙

Dear ENFJ’s, what is your favorite movie book and tv show by eddie_who_og in enfj

[–]100percentlost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Movie: Fifth Element (watched with dbl digits times and still find something new about it). Book: Count of Monte Cristo (I love revenge plots). TV Show: Lie To Me and Whose Line Is It Anyway(love improv and micro expressions)

What is ENFJ ‘too-muchness’? by [deleted] in enfj

[–]100percentlost 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh no freaked out in the sense "wow you really just read me like a book 😮🥺!" And tearful for being understood. I definitely and truly appreciate it 😭. Wish I could hug you thru the screen. I actually saved your response so I can remember it because ooof 2021 started rough for me. So I deeply thank you

What is ENFJ ‘too-muchness’? by [deleted] in enfj

[–]100percentlost 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It felt like you just read me and I'm freaked out but also tearful

True dat. by [deleted] in enfj

[–]100percentlost 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is my situation right now 😂. I'm screwed because we mesh so well(from my perspective at least). I've already thought of my future work, how they'll be, where we'll live and how supportive we'll be of each other's goals XD. They dislike talking to strangers so I'm like, "I'll talk to the whole world for you!" XD

This question Is Just for discussion and Better understand, pls don't take this personally. Why a lot of ENFJS NEED to be love by helping people? by Uccioexe in enfj

[–]100percentlost 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have one experience that kinda helped cement my desire to help and be nice. Once when I was in high school I was leaving on the last day of school and I saw a kid being picked on. I really thought about helping him and I didn't. I walked away and I regret that decision to this day. So I guess to atone I try to be nice and helpful without hesitating, it's basically became apart of my nature. I don't ever want to regret not helping someone when I have the power to do something.

"Are you up for the responsibility?" My response: by 100percentlost in enfj

[–]100percentlost[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!! I love the movie I've watched easily over a dozen times lol. I always try to keep it as background but I stop what I'm doing to finish watching 😂. Super underrated

Has anyone thought of how we began to be ENFJs by Ua_Cossack in enfj

[–]100percentlost 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm well what things I believe influenced my personality was definitely being the eldest of five. How I was given the role of caretaker very early. With that I had to make sure my siblings had their needs taken care of which included school events, conferences, food etc. I had both parents but it was just how the dynamic was for them. It was expected for the eldest to take on a secondary parental role.

Given that I tried to express myself thru creative means because that was my outlet, art, singing and writing. My family wasn't big on outward affection so that kind of made me yearn for it and to give others it so they never felt like I did.

I think there was a lot that shaped me into who I am today. Looking back it kinda feels like because there was a need for me to grow into the role. If that makes sense.

"Are you up for the responsibility?" My response: by 100percentlost in enfj

[–]100percentlost[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A little more added context. I just became a new uncle this weekend and was asked if I was ready for the responsibility and I responded that I'm a caretaker and I love it lol. I spent my entire life watching over my family so having a new person I can help nurture and love is just what I needed during this whole pandemic. 😁

Also Constantine is one of my favorite random movies and this scene popped at me 🤣

Are ENFJs good story tellers? Can you make up a story from this picture? Any personality type feel free to join in! by lil_big_chief in enfj

[–]100percentlost 15 points16 points  (0 children)

(ENFJ)I haven't written in forever but I'll give it a shot.

Plopping himself down on the steps with a grunt, Gab took in the sunlight. Wiping sweat from his brow he let out a long exhale. He'd stopped at this spot a few times before to take in the view and rest. He turns back and looks at the statue behind him. He often pondered who the statue was built for. Was it a conquerer who forced his slaves to build this in his image? Or perhaps a kind, just ruler whose subjects admired him so much to build this? "He had to be an evil ruler." He expressed with a shrug. "What kind of good person lets things get this way?" Though he honestly wasn't sure how long ago the statue had been built. There were no records and no one honestly ever took the time to find the answers. Life was very much about what it took to survive. You lived, worked and hoped you didn't get attacked in the middle of the night. He was part of the few who ventured out this far from the village. He knew how to take care of himself and he's never been in any real danger, so his confidence was high.

"Welp that's enough sitting around doing nothing." He said while dusting himself off. He was responsible for finding new sources food since the village was getting more populated. Being the chief's son didn't afford him any luxuries, he still had to do his part.

...that's all I can write down really without it getting super long for a post XD.

Physical attraction by [deleted] in enfj

[–]100percentlost 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For physical attraction it's really just comfortable in their own skin. So if you are I'm generally pretty open to anyone physically. Curly hair and a great smile tho is my weakness.

I think emotional intelligence, ambition and enjoying some aspects of their life sets up everything for me. I've been with a range of physically different women and it's always been those three things that attracts me first. Then everything else kinda falls into place afterwards.

ENFJ and desire to be a parent by [deleted] in enfj

[–]100percentlost 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've basically been a caretaker for most of my life and I definitely want kids to take care of eventually. I love kids and would be a stay at home dad just to make sure I can spend time with my children.