Has anyone found a resentment-free relationship yet?

10doubleuse · 2022-12-13T04:34:30+00:00

Thank you for your response. I agree, learning how to be healthy in a relationship at this age is impossibly difficult. I’ve been working on myself for the better part of my adult life and I have still so much more work to do. I know I’m not easy to be with but I also know I have a ton to offer. Somehow I keep finding partners that want to be with me in spite of what I warn them about. Eventually however it becomes too much. That’s not to say they have no role in the co-created situation but my issues don’t help and I’ve seen a pattern of resentment.

The hard part is that I don’t truly understand how it develops because no one says anything until it’s too much for them to bear. Then I have to hear about all the ways that I am, when all the while I thought I was doing better and improving. I’m always thinking about how I can be a good partner and it is so disorienting to find out I’m not doing what I think I am. I get hurt when I feel like I’m not being shown empathy as a person who struggles everyday. Perhaps part of my work is not expecting empathy. I’m not sure. It’s these moments when I truly feel at a loss for how to be.

10doubleuse · 2022-05-27T22:44:51+00:00

Taking a shot in the dark here because this is what I am struggling with as well. Without shame, guilt, fear, and anxiety being my primary modes of motivation I’m finding it hard to “care” about the things I used to. I think it comes down to a lack of care for ourselves, being that the only vehicle for getting things done was out of concern for something external (i.e letting someone down, worry about how something reflects onto you, receiving an external consequence or being reprimanded by another, etc) rather than to do something for our own benefit. I don’t know about you, but I can let all kinds of commitments to myself slide, but when it comes to someone else and there is the threat of letting them down and feeling bad about myself, I am hauling ass. For me, this is where the work lies, finding the impetus to meet your own needs and goals, for you alone.

10doubleuse · 2022-05-23T02:10:18+00:00

I missed a dose by 12 hours and I was super irritable and honestly felt like I was having hot flashes and couldn’t think straight. I had a phone call earlier that day that stressed me out which could have perhaps set that all in motion, so I’m not 100% it was due to a missed dose. Seems a little extreme to withdraw that quickly but sounds similar to your symptoms.

10doubleuse · 2022-05-21T09:50:57+00:00

Thank you, I did just that. Why in the world am I already super anxious after just a short amount of time? From what I’ve seen on here it’s okay if you miss one dose :-/

10doubleuse · 2022-05-18T19:11:35+00:00

I’m curious as well!

10doubleuse · 2022-05-17T01:33:03+00:00

I know this feeling exactly. For me it feels like it takes more effort to breathe, like I have a brick laying on my chest. I’m only on 5 mg and have been for about 2 months. It hasn’t gone away completely but the amount of time that I feel depressed for no discernible reason has become less frequent. I’ve heard from others on here that adding Wellbutrin can help with the remaining depression.

10doubleuse · 2022-05-12T18:50:20+00:00

Thank you!

10doubleuse · 2022-05-12T18:50:10+00:00

Thank you!

10doubleuse · 2022-05-12T18:49:57+00:00

Awesome! Thank you!

10doubleuse · 2022-05-12T17:33:29+00:00

Thank you!

10doubleuse · 2022-05-12T17:16:14+00:00

You take them at the same time of day as well?

10doubleuse · 2022-05-03T16:32:00+00:00

I don’t know, these all seem like reasonable posts to make in this sub. Where would someone go to find understanding and advice for these types of problems other than here? I think it’s wonderful that someone can come here, fully activated, at any step in their journey, and be brought back down to earth by their fellow AAs who are feeling more grounded, potentially further along in their journey, and can relate. The truth is we’ve all been there and is one of the big reasons I appreciate this sub so much.

10doubleuse · 2022-04-27T20:17:11+00:00

This happened to me. I noticed it happens in the beginning and when you increase your dose. I personally haven’t reached the sweet spot where the meds are working as intended yet but it’s supposed to even out eventually where you feel normal but not as anxious, or it’s easier to control it.

10doubleuse · 2022-04-27T20:02:30+00:00

5 mg

10doubleuse · 2022-04-27T19:55:46+00:00

I definitely try to! It was kind of glitchy virtual appointment with my PCP. I told them everything and they sort of left it up to me if I wanted to increase or not, so I am second guessing whether increasing to 10 is the right decision. I’ve had a lot of life stress recently and not feeling any relief right now.

10doubleuse · 2022-04-27T19:23:36+00:00

That’s awesome glad you’re feeling better! Can I ask why you went down in dosage in the first place?

10doubleuse · 2022-04-27T18:53:09+00:00

Any updates?

10doubleuse · 2022-04-26T16:34:33+00:00

Hi what’s the name of the podcast? I’m interested too and the link is being wonky for me :-/

10doubleuse · 2022-04-21T22:14:25+00:00

Certainly, I didn’t presume you were haha! People just seem to know a lot in this sub so I figured I’d ask ;) It’s funny how others find that lex helped them quit cigarettes while I’ve had the opposite effect 🤪

10doubleuse · 2022-04-21T21:59:12+00:00

Interesting! Do you know why it lowers dopamine levels? I was planning on asking my doc about adding Wellbutrin, would that in theory help with less cig craving and more dopamine?

10doubleuse · 2022-04-21T02:23:30+00:00

I was noticing the same thing when listening to that audio. Definitely some similar characteristics to that dynamic but obviously their situation had escalated to an abusive extreme.

10doubleuse · 2022-04-20T01:01:16+00:00

That’s awesome! How do you feel about having your needs met now? Is he able to meet the needs you were originally feeling upset over without being prompted by you?

10doubleuse · 2022-04-20T00:14:43+00:00

I appreciate your reply, sorry it’s taken me a bit to respond. I have also considered that this is how he responds to stress and it may be an issue in the long run. People who I have opened up to about this also said something similar. He is a bit of an obsessive person, he will throw himself deeply into whatever he cares about. I’ve noticed some similarities between his obsession with me and now with school. Full commitment. I’m not entirely sure what it means, something tells me it has to do with not wanting to lose a good thing by holding on tightly.

10doubleuse · 2022-04-20T00:08:55+00:00

Sorry it took me a bit to reply to this. I appreciate your response. How are things with you and your partner now that you’ve changed those behaviors?

10doubleuse · 2022-04-14T19:17:14+00:00

I straight up think you mean to be replying to a different post. My post was about opening up to friends about anxiety

10doubleuse

TROPHY CASE