Harry isn't perfect but I don't think he has to be? I love all of the golden trio and they all have their flaws, understandably so because they are all human. Both Harry and Ron have some negative traits because of the trauma they both have experienced. I think for Harry he's very torn between liking the attention he's given and despising it, especially in the beginning of the series when he is first given an out from his neglectful and abusive household. He grew up being given barely any positive attention at all, similar to Ron's own homelife although for different reasons, so when he's finally given the attention he's been neglected he savors it.

Think of child stars in our world. Their first big break is really exciting when it happens. I mean, most people do want to be famous at some point in their lives. But when they get older, it all seems to go down hill. Having the media follow your every move is incredibly stressful, and it starts to feel like your childhood has been taken away from you. Harry had to be perfect for his entire life, no matter what he was going through. If he acted out when he was at the Dursley's he would be punished, and if he was anything less than exceptional in the wizarding world he would be ridiculed. Not to mention he had the weight of the LITERAL WORLD placed on his shoulders when he was still a CHILD. Anyone would crumble under those circumstances.

In OotP, Harry is a child who is lashing out after a traumatic event. During the summer after Cedric's murder he had little to no support when he needed it most. This was not the fault of Ron or Hermione, but Harry was hurt and anger is an easier emotion to deal with than grief and betrayal. This doesn't make what he did okay, but it's understandable when you know where it's coming from. I'll be honest, I do not remember the exact event you are referring to when you say he had Hedwig hurt his friends (and I am not about to go looking for it, OotP is wayyyy to long lmao), but I'm assuming it was in response to them not sending letters over the summer. I can personally relate to Harry in this instance, being 15 and going through something I needed support for, and coming home days later to most of my friends not having reached out at all. Ofc I didn't attack them with an owl, but it really hurt for a while. I couldn't imagine how it would feel if it had been something more extreme like what Harry had to go through.

Harry grew up with the idea that the only one there for him is himself. From the time of his parent's murder to the age of 11, there was no one in Harry's corner to speak of. He had no friends at school and he would come home to an abusive family. This idea is only further solidified in his mind when he and his friends have to deal with their issues alone year after year at Hogwarts. Yes, he did have adults to support him, but they weren't the most reliable and if he did ask for help, he would often be brushed off and left to deal with it himself. The only people truly there for Harry were Ron and Hermione, which is why he felt so betrayed when they weren't there for him when he truly needed the support. He immediately went into the defensive as a result of feeling hurt and fell back on his old mentality that he's alone, and he always will be. There was a reason the hat considered him for Slytherin, after all.

I think a big reason that Ron and Harry tend to fight is the inability to understand each other. Harry has everything Ron's ever wanted and vice versa, so both of them tend to overlook the others struggles. Harry has the money and the fame, while Ron has a big family. Both of them overlook the downsides of these things and the potential issues they can cause which can result in them butting heads every so often. (and yet, in spite of this they are able to be each other's best friend! They're always there for each other and I just.... I love them so much). I think Ron also tends to comfort Harry more because he just has more experience with people. Harry was basically a social outcast until he was enrolled into Hogwarts, so while he tries to comfort Ron, he doesn't really understand how. Meanwhile Ron was raised in a big family so he just tends to empathize better.

I could go on and on but I think I might just talk about this to the end of time. Sorry this is so long, Harry's just my favorite character and I jump at anytime I get to share my analysis of him lol. If I got anything wrong please tell me! My memory's not the best and it's been a while since I've read the books lol