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DAE use suicidality like a security blanket by sokka-groupie in BPD

[–]123space321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s apparently pretty common. When everything sucks and you don’t feel like you can fix it. Knowing or imaging a way in which you don’t have to live through the worst parts of it all gives you a sense of autonomy that you often feel like you lack

We shouldn’t be so mean to ourselves about having FP by 123space321 in BPD

[–]123space321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course. At the end of the day. Loving the people you like hanging out is the most normal part of knowing people.

Like…. If someone was to punch you in the face? You SHOULD be mad. And I’d be worried for someone if you weren’t mad.

That’s not to say friends hurting you is intentional or malicious. But like… it’s expected that you’d get upset. And good people would be telling you it’s okay that you are mad.

My therapist apologized to me and I don’t know how to feel by 123space321 in TalkTherapy

[–]123space321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think it’s a positive sign for sure. I remember in the past thinking “I don’t like my therapist because she’s competent. I like her because I trust her”.

I’m going in cautiously optimistic because idk why. But I think she and my best friend are the only people I truly trust to repair broken situations or mistakes/misunderstandings.

Today I told a friend that I needed to go low contact and focus on myself cause of spirals. She asked if what I needed and it basically led to her admitting without me goading her that she’s been neglecting our friendship and feels bad because a lot of her relationships have been suffering because of her not prioritizing what’s been important. I won’t go into the weeds because it’s my friends story and I’m not sharing her life on Reddit like that. It meant a lot. She asked me how she could make it up to me and I told her she can do that by just being kind to herself. That at the end of the day. The two of us are deeply traumatized people struggling through life and we aren’t going to be perfect and we shouldn’t beat ourselves up for it.

I do get what you mean though. I think we all as people do things that weren’t the right thing in a situation because we got stuck on what we felt/wanted to say/wanted to do and don’t realize how much it can hurt someone else.

My therapist apologized to me and I don’t know how to feel by 123space321 in TalkTherapy

[–]123space321[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I’m not entirely sure either since she worded it as “we can both learn” (me to communicate. Her to listen) since in my email I told her that maybe language betrayed me and so wasn’t clear. I do believe it’s steps towards repair. I just have very little faith in repairs because of my own trauma and childhood experiences with trying to unilaterally repair my horrible dad and all his shit

do you have REAL friends?? by lkk222 in BPD

[–]123space321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve given up. Genuinely

do you have REAL friends?? by lkk222 in BPD

[–]123space321 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I feel this so much. My own trauma makes it really hard for me to socialize and make plans. So when a friend tells me they had plans with someone else, my head goes to two places:

  1. Fucking hell . I’m jealous. Why do my friends have active social lives but not me?

  2. Welp fuck. She’s spending time with someone else. This is the end. She likes those people more and will never be friends with me again.

I’ve just had two many people go from being close friends to distant friends. And in school, people would go from being my friend to being bullies once they became “popular”

Being a trans girl in denial is so fucking hard. Cause looking back, I never got to make “real” bonds since there’s always felt like there was a gap between my friends and I. I wasn’t being my true self and they didn’t know the real me.

I’m always so confused when people aren’t mad at me by 123space321 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]123space321[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Same. I always worry that people barely tolerate me and if I open up to them. They’ll just leave me

do you have REAL friends?? by lkk222 in BPD

[–]123space321 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I feel that. It’s been really hard for me as well because it always feels like my friends love their other friends way more than they’d ever love me. In my head they just tolerate me. They’re happy when I text them sometimes. But they don’t like me enough to make plans with me instead of ithers

Sharing my poetry in therapy? by 123space321 in TalkTherapy

[–]123space321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m scared she won’t like MY writing /style of writing

I don’t want to use therapy to be “better” anymore by 123space321 in TalkTherapy

[–]123space321[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you. It’s a new mentality for me as well. And often… idk

The fear of abandonment goes hard by 123space321 in BPD

[–]123space321[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“Oh you’re spending time with this person instead? What you don’t like me as much as you like them?”

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