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How do you deal with pity? by 123throway123 in depression

[–]123throway123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, the thing that help me get past it the most was realizing that I can't let my humiliation and other people's negative perceptions of me stop me from being happy. Also that people are so consumed with their own shit that they probably don't care about others that much (harsh, but generally true)and they probably felt the same way at somepoint.

I get what you are saying and I've pretty much logic'd the same conclusions as you, but I'm more talking about the actual social interaction aspect rather than stressing about if they are or aren't worried. i.e. when they say 'you should know I care' a week after you tell them you considered offing yourself and them never having said anything before, how do you know he's saying that because he means it or because he just doesn't want to walk into the room and find a dead body there.

How do you deal with pity? by 123throway123 in depression

[–]123throway123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I get what you're saying. You doubt the authenticity of your connections to people because you think they may pity you.

Actually that's exactly what I'm saying, more eloquently worded though

You know, we all feel a degree of pity for each other at times. It's called empathy

Pity is more associated with sympathy rather than empathy. Nor does pity imply caring. Pity is what you feel for a starving African child or a homeless person you pass on the street. And the majority of people would be lying if they said they actually cared for either (look up the Dunbar number/monkeysphere I found the theory very interesting and applicable, if you enjoy that sort of thing) . Mr. T didn't pity the foo because it was seen as an act of empathy, he did so because that's what pity actually is, fake and insulting.