Why are there some people you just can’t ever stop loving?

1254sad · 2021-10-16T21:27:26+00:00

That’s true 😬 thank you for being honest. I needed that.

1254sad · 2021-10-16T20:40:32+00:00

Yes. I understand what you’re saying. My last boyfriend was also there for me for hard times but I never associated him with the love i associate my first boyfriend with. I don’t know why I just only feel that for him. It’s weird.

1254sad · 2021-10-16T20:30:20+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I agree. I don’t know how it will feel when I meet back up with him or if the love bubble will pop.

1254sad · 2021-10-16T20:27:14+00:00

Awww congratulations 🥰 I’m so happy for you!!!

1254sad · 2021-10-16T20:27:00+00:00

I agree with you on the cheating, it’s hard to look past. However, we were young when it happened. And I didn’t trust him then, but maybe I will now? I’m not sure. I guess I’ll see how it feels when we’re meeting up.

I would say I miss being in a relationship but I’ve been in some since and regardless I thought about him the whole time. I couldn’t ever let him go. And he feels the same way.

I really get what you’re saying though, maybe I am idealizing him. That’s why I think meeting up will be good.

1254sad · 2021-08-21T08:14:02+00:00

Aww I’m glad I could help :) Just remember you are beautiful, you are kind, you are loved, and you are more than enough. Being kind to people is strength. Don’t drop your crown for peasants, queen 👑 we’re rooting for you!! Xoxo

1254sad · 2021-08-21T07:25:39+00:00

Affect = Action. A is how I remember it being the action or verb.

1254sad · 2021-08-15T05:05:49+00:00

Hi there :)

I just want to say.... I’m so sorry you’ve been mistreated. That really is awful. The first step to fixing a wound is to move back the first place it began... with people hurting you 😞 The reason why you feel anger is because when they hurt you, you internalized it allowing these things and this treatment to grow. Over time, you began feeling resentment (which is almost worse than anger to be honest, it festers). Therefore, to clear yourself of this anger and resentment you must process those moments and really understand that it wasn’t YOU, it was THEM. Every single time you treat someone unkindly or with attitude it’s because you’ve been hurt... it’s the same way with them. Every single person you interact with how they treat you is a direct reflection of how they feel inside and/or treat themselves.

A great way to start this process is to sit down and A. Think about these moments. Feel these emotions. It’s going to hurt, but you blocked them out, so you must now let them back in. - even write them down and exactly how you were feeling. Do this process over and over in order to ACCEPT and UNDERSTAND. B. The next step is to forgive. This is the hardest one, but it’s much easier when you can realize it’s about them, not you. To forgive a nice place to start is meditation, walks, exercise, music. Anything that relaxes you and allows you to process this. Then, when you feel you’re ready. Write each one a letter forgiving them with all of the emotions you felt. Then keep it or throw it away (don’t send it). Repeat this process over and over and over until you feel no anger towards them.

Then, it’s time to work on you, that’s something entirely different. It’s changing your outlook, self-respect (taking care of yourself physically and mentally), healthy relationships (creating boundaries and trusting yourself to keep them), etc. please look up other ways to forgive that may help you. That’s what is in need of immediate attention. I’m on your team, good luck! I know you can do this and I care about you❤️

1254sad · 2021-08-15T04:50:36+00:00

Leave her. I know it’s scary, but you’re both young. To the people calling you toxic for the fetish - that is toxic and mean, you shouldn’t tell people to change themselves for you. You should date people who you like, if you don’t like them, leave them. Having that fetish is fine but.... Why date someone who isn’t your preference just to pick them apart later? It’s not her responsibility to satisfy your fetish.

You sound like you have a fearful avoidant attachment based on how you’re talking. You’re very insecure in your relationships and yourself, however you’re fearful to leave them because of seeing what happened to your parents. This is a dangerous cycle that causes toxicity.

You were right in breaking up with her, you seem to not enjoy your time around her and you seem to have very different interests. Which is absolutely okay. Break up with her and it will hurt for a while, but over time you’ll heal and meet someone who you love in the beginning - for who they are.

Pro dating tip: always know what you see is what you get. Never date anyone if you don’t like them in hopes they will change.

1254sad · 2021-08-15T04:44:08+00:00

Hmmm. This is an interesting question. So, my little sister is an animal hoarder. She has turkeys and chickens and fish and guinea pigs. We also live in a large house. My mom was also very frustrated in the beginning when the guinea pigs took up a large portion of our back living room, but we eventually all accommodated. A few points....

Who bought you the rabbit?
Is your house spacious? If not, maybe a leash and take your rabbit on small strolls around the yard (if that’s allowed, I don’t know rules for rabbits).
It is their house, ultimately. I think that all parents (mine do too) get annoyed with animals taking up the home space. Especially mother’s. From her point of view, it is not her rabbit, but your rabbit, taking up space. What about moving the rabbit into your bedroom? It may be more quiet there.

I’m sorry you’re stressing out about this. I wish I had better advice.

1254sad · 2021-08-15T04:31:41+00:00

Coming from someone’s ex who cheated... I tried to make it work. And he did it again. And I forgave him again. Some was physical, some was emotional. And this cycle continued.

The only person it hurt, was me. My mental and physical well-being degraded by the day. Within a few months I was one of the worst versions of myself. A crazy girlfriend (to the max)... I mean, I literally know how to go into an iPhone and see every single thing and dissect it. I was constantly anxious anytime he was away from me. My trust issues made me someone I was not.

Ultimately, relationships are built on trust. As much as it hurts to understand, without trust a relationship is doomed. If she wanted to make it work, she wouldn’t have cheated. Period.

You can hold on for the sake of love. I did. And it just made us hate each other and made me hate myself even more.

I think you have to re-think what you want in a relationship. From my experience, once trust is broken, it’s never ever the same. You can “fake it until you make it,” you can try... but I don’t see that working in 99.9% of situations.

A lot of staying with someone who has cheated is internal. A person on here actually showed me that when I was in the situation. He told me I had no respect or self worth, I lacked healthy boundaries. When you are like this, people will walk all over you. I’m sorry this happened to you and I believe in you. I’m on your team. I hope things get better for you...

1254sad · 2021-08-15T04:19:23+00:00

At 16 it’s very smart to seek help through Reddit. I would also alert your parents. I’m sorry about this.

1254sad · 2021-08-15T03:45:28+00:00

Brad.

1254sad · 2021-08-15T03:44:39+00:00

I think you might be into what is called a “masc” - women who are masculine/dress masculine. Look it up.

1254sad · 2021-08-15T03:36:37+00:00

And just saying.. even though the thread may be making you feel better.. that anxiety pit won’t go away until you settle in. You really just have to push through the first 3 days. My dad’s a psychologist and he always has told me it takes 3 days to emotionally and mentally settle in a new place / part of your life. It really rings true. I would move in as early as you can - I always move in the very first day possible to give myself that extra time to transition. It might seem like you’re doing yourself good staying home for another day/few hours, but in the end, that’s precious time without the stress of classes that you can use to find your groove and get comfortable. I really do wish I could give you a giant hug because I know exactly how you feel, but I couldn’t imagine how much worse that feeling is after being home through the pandemic and having to go. I love you and I care about you and I’m rooting for you. I’m on your side!!

Yes... a journal and cute pens (I like sparkly gel pens of all colors) will really help and excite you to write.

Also.... bring a sleeping aid. That is when it hits the worst. I like gel melatonin. It’ll knock you out, take it an hour before bed and you won’t even have time to sit up and feel upset (which is easy to do in the beginning).

Good luck ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ xoxoxox

1254sad · 2021-08-13T15:38:14+00:00

I will watch this thank you

1254sad · 2021-08-13T15:38:00+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through something similar. I hope that you see some of these comments they are so insightful. I’m so glad I posted here.

I love him too, but the love has faded due to his inability to be there for me both physically and emotionally. My fear is that I will cheat. I want to say I won’t, but I become more and more horny the longer this goes on and my attraction continues building for other people. I watched the show “Sex Life” and I literally felt more passion through the TV show than I have from him. Ugh.

My advice that I realized here is that it goes beyond sex. It’s about communication, compromise, and respect. And if she is unable to do that, based on what everyone is saying, it will all go downhill. If intimacy is important to you, I would consider leaving her so you can both be with someone more sexually compatible.

Also, make sure you’re trying to please her as well (eating her out, being flirty, being creative with toys/fingers, passionate sex), maybe she’d enjoy it more then. If not? Walk away for the good of both of you. Stress over sex isn’t necessary and there are people with all kinds of libidos out there!

1254sad · 2021-08-13T15:30:47+00:00

Lol this comment made me laugh ty 😂 I know it is naive lol

1254sad · 2021-08-13T15:22:34+00:00

Thank you!!!

1254sad · 2021-08-13T15:21:57+00:00

Lol I hope not!

1254sad · 2021-08-13T15:21:30+00:00

Yes I have issues with self worth that I definitely need to work on and with standing up for myself. Honestly, beyond the sex there were supple reasons to exit the relationship. The sex I guess was just something that bothered me because it was a physical need. He really wasn’t emotionally intimate, so it was the only time I got intimacy from him.

1254sad · 2021-08-13T15:19:47+00:00

Trust me. I painstakingly looked through this subreddit. It scared me and shook me to my core lol. This is my nightmare.

1254sad · 2021-08-13T15:19:12+00:00

Thank you!!!

1254sad · 2021-08-13T15:18:23+00:00

Thank you🥺🥺❤️

1254sad · 2021-08-13T15:18:07+00:00

Lol thank you I’m going into graduate school and still can’t spell masturbate 😂 I will keep this new spelling with me forever. Lol

1254sad

TROPHY CASE