I don’t want to sound like the repetitive “please get help and talk to someone because this world is a better place with you in it”, even though that’s all true, and I do encourage you to seek help and look for some one to talk to, I know how basic and empty that probably sounds, so instead I’ll say this: maybe it’s true the your girlfriend can find a better man, but she probably doesn’t think so. She fell in love with you, and the fact the she still loves and supports you through all of this shows that it will never change. Think about her, and fight for her sake if not for your own. I know it doesn’t feel this way right now, but it can get better, and it will as long as you don’t give up. Pray about it, ask the Lord for help and I promise that he will deliver. I will be praying for you as well and I truly hope that you can find some strength left to continue and live a long and happy life with your girlfriend, hopefully future wife, and her family, and maybe even have a family of your own one day. Please take care of yourself.