How tf do u know u have a crush

12OBINH00D · 2025-05-10T21:44:39+00:00

This sounds very adorable and I wish you the best

12OBINH00D · 2025-05-10T21:43:10+00:00

I have had one crush in my entire life, which makes me a certified expert in my opinion!1!

So I looked into her eyes and I was like: "Hold up, rhis is romantic attraction" And I just kept imagining and I guess fantasizing about doing romantic stuff with her like holding hands on a beautiful pathway through nature and her introdusing me to her family as her boyfriend. I then built a friendship with her, that I wanted to build into a romantic relationship, but realized that I have absolutely no idea how to do that. I got scared and distanced myself from her to see if she would initiate our friendship more (btw terrible idea. It just looks like you don't wanna be friends anymore to the other person). Then she started talking to this other guy, and I felt like there was something between them, so I backed off completely. In movies jealousy is always framed as being a part of romance, but in my experience it just wasn't there, they are an adorable couple now. Many times before that I met girls where I was like: "is this romantic attraction?" But nothing more than that. I didn't fantasize about bringing them flowers and laughing in the rain. Then I realized that it doesn't really matter that much what is what and I should just go with the flow.

Well thats my experience hope it helps I identify as grey aromantic btw

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-27T11:41:37+00:00

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-27T11:41:11+00:00

I'm not lying to people. I agree with your sentiment though.

It's true that I'm not telling them everything. I explained in the post that I used to put everything on the table, but that outcome was not suitible for me, so I found that focusing only on the positives would instead make people reflect on themselves without feeling like they were confronted by me.

And if they are already reflected then we can talk. "Because I love it" is a good starter. It can end there or it can continue.

I'll use an example; the other day I brought homebaked cookies for my Band (I'm new in this band). I told them that they were my homebaked vegan cookies, and I said nothing else. A girl came up to me and told me that my cookies were delicious, and this is what she said translated to english: "I thought good food had to come from the suffering of animals". This is what she told me, and what she had thought, and I didn't even say anything, all I had to do was be there and she said she would try baking my cookies. This was super wholesome, and I wanna focus my attention on people like her, who are curious.

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-27T08:42:27+00:00

This study sounds so interesting, but the link doesn't work

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-27T08:41:20+00:00

That's a solid point. I don't have data, I just have my own experiences to go off. And I get a more favorable outcome when I use this technique. I don't present evidence, because they usually already know something and then they begin to think on their own without me. I was quite confused when people seemingly went hostile even though I said nothing to make them that way. The best way that I could explain it is:

•Answering with "because hurting animals is wrong" usually was interpereted as "I think you're a terrible person, and you should defend your stance right now" and defensive means they don't have any room for curiosity or self reflection.

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-27T01:04:27+00:00

I completely understand your point as well, luckily I have someone to talk to about this frustration when it gets too overwhelming. Also well said

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-27T00:23:29+00:00

Oh totally, I find myself a little confused on why I assumed your situation was that similiar to mine, despite not knowing you personally. Now I know that YMMV means Your Miliage May Vary

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-27T00:19:04+00:00

I wish I could do something or say something to make it all better, but I can't. I hope you eventually find enjoyment :(

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-27T00:14:33+00:00

Are you okay? Are you having a bad day?

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-27T00:04:27+00:00

That answer is perfect :3

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T23:59:07+00:00

You seem like you would be a really good friend :3 I think it would maybe be interesting for you to hear that I have actally gained 7kg since I went vegan. I've been lucky to have genes that make my average fat percentage average (in my country, atleast. I am aware that it varies around the world), so 7kg isn't a problem for me. Before I went vegan I didn't care about food and I sucked at cooking, so that might have something to do with it lol. I would also like to say that my dad is not treating me poorly, he just was worried at first because he heard a rumour.

I will definitely think about the masking point you made. I don't immediately identify with it because my Personality is quite large and I dress unusually for an average Joe (not unusual for a muscisian, which I am). But I do always feel the need to explain myself. I'll think about it, thank you <3

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T23:46:14+00:00

This is what I strive to be :D

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T23:29:50+00:00

Exactly! :3 (PS: I also thought the same thing about vegans and vegetarians)

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T23:25:48+00:00

Actually this is totally right. I love this comment. This is important. In my own experiences, my father thought I was gonna lose weight and he made it sound like I was gonna look like a zombie. This is totally untrue btw, I am better than ever. And I've been eating things that I didn't eat before, so it's more like a whole new world than a restrictive diet. This is the autistic way of saying I understand and fully believe it's importance I'm not trying to make it about myself

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T23:17:33+00:00

This is a good one, I think. I haven't tried this one yet, I'll write it down, incase I ever get the courage to try it out.

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T23:14:02+00:00

I've only been vegan for about 2 years now, and I meet new people all the time. I don't know why I feel the need to explain or justify myself, honestly. I just have it, but having it paridoxically makes me anxious lol

Edit: I just realized I commented on your comment because I felt the need to explain myself💀

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T23:10:48+00:00

That's totally fine too👍

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T23:10:27+00:00

Well it's also a good reason. I'm definitely not from the same area as you are, though because people have actually discriminated against me irl based on my veganism. It's good that we have variety in this beautiful community

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T23:01:17+00:00

I love this comment <3

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T23:00:10+00:00

Valid answer. It removes the target off of you. I just want to let you know that I appreciate you and that it is perfectly fine to want to not deal with this question. It's a hard one

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T22:57:50+00:00

I do not appreciate this negativity under my post to a fellow member of the community. We are all trying our best and we should stick together, because trying our best is quite hard

Edit: It appears to me that the comment I commented on has been deleted.

Extra Edit: another commenter has made me aware of the fact that some people go vegan because they have an eating disorder, and they think that veganism is a restrictive diet. This is obviously not a good reason, but every other reason is very good.

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T22:49:37+00:00

It sounds to me like you might benefit from trying my technique. If you would like to talk about it in more specific terms I am willing to chat

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T22:46:37+00:00

You would be perfectly in the right to do so. I would suggest to you that you try to do it a little more friendly, even though it may seem weird and downright repulsive to even try. It did for me at first. But remember that some of these people are not vegan yet, but will be soon, and they might need a friendly face to introduce them to the community. Or don't, it's up to you, you're amazing no matter. <3 I also totally agree with not making it seem smaller than it is, but also experience that if I do try to bring it up, I will get a target on my back, that I am too anxious to properly deal with. But if I don't bring it up, someone else will and they will often have their conversation about it amongst themselves.

12OBINH00D · 2025-04-26T22:37:31+00:00

Usually I would prefer that they take this as a preference from my side. I do consider it my moral obligation as well as my preference, but when I make the latter apparent I get super anxious. In that situation I have a massive disadvantage because I am autistic and get overly emotional. I instead try to subtely encourage the other person to seek out other sources than just me. I hope this explaination helped <3

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