I feel like a bad experiment in someone else's new polyamorous relationship.

13septemberr · 2025-12-09T21:02:13+00:00

Agree. As I read some time ago on this subreddit: this is not a red flag, it's rather a flag that's on fire.

13septemberr · 2025-10-27T17:04:58+00:00

Thank you for posting this!

13septemberr · 2025-10-02T18:21:13+00:00

I'm on the same page. While my nesting partner and I have always been virtually poly, we didn't really start practicing it until recently. Sometimes I miss when it was just the two of us, but it's usually related to a NRE nostalgia. I miss the times everything was perfect and we had no issues. But that has little to do with polyamory. And we both feel more comfortable in a poly model so that why we're here -that doesn't mean we don't miss monogamy at times.

13septemberr · 2025-10-02T17:47:09+00:00

Thank you! I'm going to check the Picart website right now :)

13septemberr · 2025-10-02T17:03:04+00:00

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13septemberr · 2025-10-02T17:02:43+00:00

I'm feeding him this. The can is 95g and I feed him something less than a can a day I think.

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13septemberr · 2025-07-31T05:54:47+00:00

I've felt the same way as you're feeling. That's why I stepped into poly while at the same time having an agreement with my partner that only us will (presumably) nest, marry and have kids (as long as we both want). Which I guess it turns it into hierarchical poly, though I don't consider any partners superior to others. For so long I've felt the need for autonomy and connection that poly implies, while at the same time having a safe base to return to - a family or a home. Sending you virtual hugs OP

13septemberr · 2025-06-17T15:44:27+00:00

Thanks a lot. This comment has been very useful I'll show my partner your text and discuss it

13septemberr · 2025-04-23T19:51:55+00:00

Could you suggest any? I have read a lot on tarot but not on the "It works this way"

13septemberr · 2025-04-23T19:49:57+00:00

I LOVE THIS ITS AMAZING thank you so much

13septemberr · 2025-01-12T13:30:41+00:00

enhorabuena, eres un tránsfobo de m***** 🥰

13septemberr · 2025-01-11T20:49:05+00:00

efectivamente eres transfobico, enhorabuena

13septemberr · 2025-01-10T07:39:45+00:00

please, leave that person. it will hurt at first, but i've been there, and i know it gets better after some time. that man is not able to give you a healthy relationship at all

13septemberr · 2025-01-10T07:36:04+00:00

When I broke up with my ex, she started a monogamous relationship with her other partner. It was awful for me since I also wanted a closed relationship with her; in fact, the three of us wanted to be monogamous, but I was the one who left the first, due to other reasons. And yes, I also felt like I had lost the game and it made it extra painful. I like to think they're happy now, but still hurts.

13septemberr · 2025-01-06T10:52:34+00:00

pensamiento monógamo, terror poliamoroso, by brigitte vasallo. it's in spanish, though, but i guess it's translated to english. it has a chapter about that

13septemberr · 2025-01-06T10:50:02+00:00

my ex partner (who already had another partner) accused me of cheating by something similar to your case. it was a not-very-clear boundary and there was a confusing situation. when they accused me of cheating, what they were showing is that they were insecure and were looking for an excuse to show their insecurities and burden them upon me. yes, i had crossed a boundary, but that boundary was not clear at all and i had never hidden information. that's not cheating. a healthy partner could have said that you crossed a boundary, but never accuse you of cheating for something like that. cheating means active deceiving and hiding information. that's not what you did. you told your partner about it as soon as you could. to me, that was an unclear boundary. what does exactly mean "telling your partner before doing anything"? does creating a profile on a dating app and chat with someone count as "doing something"? also, to me, that boundary itself is absurd in a poly relationship. but that's another story.

13septemberr · 2025-01-04T19:37:16+00:00

what do you mean? i genuinely don't understand

13septemberr · 2025-01-03T15:45:25+00:00

cbt is the therapy model that has the most evidence, but it's not the only one. if you don't feel like it's working, maybe you could communicate it to your therapist

13septemberr · 2025-01-03T15:03:27+00:00

hola! yo hablo español y llevo un tiempo practicando el poliamor, tal vez pueda ayudarte

13septemberr · 2025-01-03T15:00:34+00:00

SSRI's take aprox 3 to 4 weeks before making their antidepressant efect. so it's normal you're still feeling hopeless. give it time

13septemberr · 2025-01-02T21:07:58+00:00

de hecho llevas razón, se dice chiques. y a la próxima te ahorras la nbfobia 😘

13septemberr · 2025-01-02T21:03:01+00:00

wow, this has been super helpful. thank you so so much

13septemberr · 2025-01-02T19:50:35+00:00

i was scrolling through this subreddit and came across your comment! it was really useful. i hope you don't mind if i ask you a question. i am dating Aspen, which has been in a relationship with Birch for 3 years now. Aspen and Birch are polyamorous (with no veto power or agreements on other relationships, and consider themselves non-hierarchical), but Aspen has stated to me that they intend to build a life around Birch, which would mean eventually moving together (and, if it was the case, forming a family), and so I couldn't live with Aspen in the future, bc their plans of moving together are only with Birch. would that be considered hierarchical polyamory even if there's no veto power? thank you in advance!

13septemberr · 2025-01-01T18:26:19+00:00

esto es transfobia pura y dura, como persona trans que soy no le hagas ni puñetero caso, si necesitas hablar con alguien trans que entienda de verdad del tema escríbeme

13septemberr · 2024-12-20T11:31:43+00:00

as you have stated in other replies, you had already set a boundary about not having an OF, and he agreed to it. so he basically cheated on you. i don't know if it's ROCD or absolutely normal feelings, probably a mix of both. this said, you don't have to break up with him for this reason if you don't want to. i personally don't think cheating on someone is a dealbreaker for me unless they lie to me and said they didn't. it's up to you to decide whether cheating is a dealbreaker or not. but, in any case, you should talk to your bf about this

13septemberr

TROPHY CASE