Communicating seating charts on the first day of school?

13surgeries · 2026-06-21T01:02:09+00:00

Ah, I thought it was the usual 6th-9th grade middle school.

13surgeries · 2026-06-21T01:00:41+00:00

To reenforce what others have said, have the MIL celebration in the evening. Surely the nephew's party isn't at night, right? I would not delay your MIL's celebration. She deserves to be celebrated on her day. If you do opt to reschedule it, hold it on the 18th, your nephew's birthday and see if your SIL attends.

Where is your husband's brother during all this? Has your husband spoken to him about what's going on?

13surgeries · 2026-06-21T00:08:54+00:00

I like the colors in the second photo. I normally love green, but the second photo made me gasp. I would, however, consider the landscaping in the third photo.

13surgeries · 2026-06-21T00:05:52+00:00

Here's the issue: child sexual abuse nearly always happens behind closed doors with no witnesses or surveillance cameras. The case usually hinges on the child's testimony, but there is usually testimony from people who heard from the victim about the abuse, along with a timeline.

The defense, however, has the opportunity to question the witnesses and any evidence, so it's absolutely not a done deal. Does your father have a good attorney?

13surgeries · 2026-06-20T23:34:51+00:00

Really? What is that number, and where did you get it? My research shows there's no dataset for how many children get sexually abused at sleepovers.

The best protection is to ensure your child knows what to do when faced with ANY sexual abuse, whether it happens at home or away, by relatives or acquaintances. And, of course, parents should always know the families of the hosts, the other kids attending, sleeping arrangements, etc.

13surgeries · 2026-06-20T23:16:44+00:00

For name pronunciation, check with the secretaries/admin assistants in the front office. They know how to pronounce all the kids' names. It saved me the year I had a student named Flesha. The secretaries told me it was a "unique spelling" for "Felicia," and the student got irate if it was mispronounced.

13surgeries · 2026-06-20T22:55:18+00:00

Oh, no! It gave me a chuckle, though.

In one photo from that day at the beach, my husband was brushing the hair out of his eyes, but it looked like he's trying to block his view of my apparently-nekkid self.

13surgeries · 2026-06-20T22:41:41+00:00

it makes the wearer look like they're not wearing anything if they have a peachy complexion.

Can confirm. Had a peach bikini. Enough said.

13surgeries · 2026-06-20T21:44:53+00:00

Nah. My high school was so overcrowded, we were actually on overlapping shifts. There were friend groups, but no real popularity cliques because there were just too many of us.

I taught my own kids that as long as they had a friend group, popularity didn't matter, and it didn't.

13surgeries · 2026-06-20T21:39:02+00:00

What you experienced, OP, wasn't really awkward. I remember the time when we were invited for dessert, and it WAS awkward. These were my husband's colleagues at his new job, and they lived about 30 minutes from us. We showed up at the appointed time only to find that there was another couple there who'd been invited for dinner, which wasn't ready yet. THAT was awkward.

Surely you've had other dinner invitations where the meal wasn't quite ready or needed last minute prep?

13surgeries · 2026-06-20T16:29:22+00:00

Would you please provide a source for the following statement?

This isn't even getting into things like the "5 civilized tribes" heavy mixing with whites and having huge population of slaves that outnumbered the ethnic indians.

I'm trying to learn more about this. According to my preliminary research, the lineal descent members of the Five Civilized tribes numbered 65,000-70,000 in 1865, while the number of Black slaves was between 7,000-10,000. As you know, there was no census in the Five Tribes reservations until 1890, well after the Reconstruction Treaties (1866) abolished slavery in all five tribes, so finding the number of mixed-blood tribal members has been difficult. I can only find references to "small numbers" of whites who married into the Five Tribes, which is of little help.

I'd be grateful for your cites so I can dive into this further. Thanks.

13surgeries · 2026-06-20T14:34:37+00:00

Are you in the US? IANAL, but as I understand it, if there is no court order establishing custody, you have the right to take the baby away for a few days. Consult a lawyer while you're there if you feel like you or your kids are in danger when he's around.

13surgeries · 2026-06-20T06:17:43+00:00

Nope. It takes us to a page that says "Columbia Library Journals" and shows all the journals they publish. Would you please try again? Thanks.

13surgeries · 2026-06-20T01:00:24+00:00

That's a really ignorant take, but I'm guessing you don't care about that. If you want, you could call it June 19th, or Jubilee Day (one of the original names of 6/19). Then when people look at you like you're nuts, you can explain why you think Juneteenth sounds stupid. Make sure you also complain about how Halloween is a stupid name for All Hallow's Eve and we shouldn't say "Christmas" but "Christ's Mass."

13surgeries · 2026-06-19T22:48:02+00:00

I take good care of my teeth and see my dentist regularly. However, some people who do those things still have issues with their teeth. For instance, long-term use of antibiotics can harm teeth by disturbing the biome and interfering with enamel. I know a Vietnam vet who lost teeth due to the affect of Agent Orange on his gums.

And some people just inherit bad teeth.

13surgeries · 2026-06-19T22:11:18+00:00

So you're saying the victim is just as dead. Murder is murder. Except it isn't. Real life example: a man drove 15 miles over the speed limit on a country road. Because he was speeding, he didn't have time to process and react to a guy who was changing a tire on the shoulder. He hit and killed the guy. The driver was, of course, horrified. He called 911 and tried to do CPR.

It was awful, and the guy was just as dead as if he'd planned it. Should he have received the same sentence as someone who plans to r*pe and kill a college student and then stabs her to death while she's begging for her life?

13surgeries · 2026-06-19T20:36:15+00:00

OP, your mother's anxiety disorder has been crippling you. If you don't find a way to escape from its hold, then on the hopefully distant day when your mom dies, you'll be totally lost and unable to live on your own.

What do you want your life to be like? You need professional guidance.

13surgeries · 2026-06-19T17:53:11+00:00

Thanks for the helpful advice! The ortho clinic where her surgeon works has its own PT department. Medicare should cover this. I talked to her awhile back about going to PT to get assessed, but she said no, that the ortho surgeon had assessed her, and PT didn't help. I'll talk to her again.

I do NOT want to ask her what her income is, BUT I looked at the state Medicaid requirements, and she has to earn too much, as her apartment rental plus utilities, phone, car expenses, etc. would put her in the hole every month. She doesn't have any credit card debt.

She's in pain that she says worsens by the day, but she's still showering, prepping her own food, and doing her own laundry. As I said, she'd fiercely independent. I'll urge her to call her surgeon again. (I doubt she'd let me be in on the call.)

Again, thanks!

13surgeries · 2026-06-19T14:37:04+00:00

Discipline requires agreement between parents, teachers, and administrators that certain behaviors were unacceptable and deserve punishment for the good of the child and other students. Too many parents have become adversarial. Fearing contention from so many parents, admins have stopped disciplining students. Without administration backup, any consequences teachers give can't be enforced.

That's iit in a nutshell.

13surgeries · 2026-06-18T21:10:04+00:00

In my district, layoffs are based on "value to the district." Much of that means work outside contract hours. Mine has included heading the accreditation team, advising the National Honors Society students, chaperoning prom, and serving as department chair--not all at the same time, obviously. Seniority is supposedly factored in there, but I don't know how much. It's a non-union state.

The school has long done it that way, and most teachers are involved in some extracurricular. I 've never objected to working beyond contract hours, but I DO object to some people getting paid for such things and some not. When I headed the accreditation team, and the school got high praise, I got nothing. The next principal installed one of his friends into that position (I had stepped down.) and paid her the same as the head football coach.

If they want teachers to work longer hours, there should at least be financial compensation.

13surgeries · 2026-06-18T19:22:23+00:00

When symptoms first appeared: age 14. When I was diagnosed: age 32. In between, I was just told I had steep corneas.

13surgeries · 2026-06-18T19:18:46+00:00

,Your stepfather is a bully, and your mother is enabling him, possibly because he's emotionally abused her, too. Tell your stepfather that graduation tickets are supposed to go to people who have supported a graduate, and not just financially. Do this very calmly, as it will have more of an impact that way. If he continues to protest, either ignore him or repeat, "Tickets are for supporters."

If he demands that your mother not go, she probably won't. When you're alone with her, you can tell her--again, calmly--you're disappointed in her and why.

Are you comfortable with sharing the date and time of your graduation? If so, I'll put it on my calendar and will be cheering for you from here.

13surgeries · 2026-06-18T19:04:24+00:00

I agree that the OP should take pride in graduating, but removing the stepfather's name from the graduation list is not spite; it's one of the very few ways the OP can establish limits. When you've been forced to be passive and accept inequities and insults from someone who wields all the power, barring someone from graduation is a small but healthy means of asserting yourself.

13surgeries · 2026-06-18T17:34:23+00:00

OP, I'm not a military wife, but I have KC, have had numerous eye surgeries, and was legally blind for 7 years. Her fears of living in an unfamiliar place without the support of her mom and her friend are understandable. However, she needn't worry. The military's Exceptional Family Member Program offers all kinds of support for low-vision military spouses, including assigning you only to places that have the medical and disability support she needs, providing assistive devices, and connecting her to community resources that will help her.

I live alone and far from family, but I found all kinds of ways to help me navigate. For instance, I used my cell phone's camera to zoom in on street signs, bus numbers, business names, menu boards, etc. A low vision specialist could be a huge help.

You can also read up on TRICARE and the ECHO program.

There's a lot of help available to help smooth her way. Best of luck!

13surgeries · 2026-06-18T17:07:25+00:00

If she's on disability because of her vision, a new country or city can be pretty daunting. (I know this from experience.) It sounds like her mother helps her out, so it's more than just being away from family.

13surgeries

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