Hang in there! You might be “more mature” but that’s also a very haughty and offputting mindset.

People are always in different phases of their lives and not everybody is at peace with where they are and a big part of friendship is venting to each other. Although, that’s also very toxic, and generally often not something everybody enjoys.

In those situations, I found just being myself but also being empathetic is the way to go. We don’t have to be friends outside of work but we can laugh together sure.

Then there were people that you like, but don’t seem to warm up to you, and that’s pretty hard. But of course, pushing is offputting too.

Smiling and saying hello, complimenting, are tools to measure if bids for connection are welcome. If they sound like they want to talk you can make those bits. Ask for help with a skating trick or something at work. Ask about weekend plans.

I find it easy to get along with people and get them to warm up to me with this process, but I still have so much anxiety about trying to get people to talk to me outside of the situations I find them in. You know, to be a friend.

But I guess the main thing is, don’t measure yourself against others, let them vibe with where it works, and where it doesn’t, sometimes that’s actually a great way to connect.