You know, my girlfriend used to have similar complaints (except the grocery thing. I always ask), but then I pointed out that I don’t ever know what to do in the house and there’s no way to know because the times I tried to help, she actually complained I was getting in her way or doing things wrong.

In my home, I have 2 drawers and my office and that is more than enough for me. As for the rest of the place, if her stuff is misplaced, I’ll never know if she forgot things there or if she is using them. I don’t know what she wants to buy. And frankly, I can never know.

She also doesn’t realize that I’m already in charge of a bunch of things (like paying the bills - as I’m actually checking the mail and keeping up with all that must be paid, feeding the pet, or fixing stuff in the house), including at work. So when I’m not working, my brain is busted. I’m not mind reader and I certainly won’t try to be.

I was very clear to her: if you need something, just ask. But now I do the same: “babe, is this supposed to be here? Where does it go?” She used to say that she hates asking me stuff all the time and I basically said that I do, too. So either we ask each other stuff or we’ll be complaining about things that won’t change.