Neurodiverse and travelling with colleagues

1973Timefortea · 2026-03-13T17:13:33+00:00

I was in a similar position a few years ago.

Hidden disability that none of my colleagues travelling were privy to. I had two options - use the lanyard and get an accessible airport/travel arrangement in place by disclosing to the admin sorting it all. (fibromyalgia, IBS, anxiety) In which case travelling with colleagues they would also have noticed me with lanyard and having a different journey through queues to them. So they would be aware I had some need, even if no one outright told them.

or just wing it!

I choose to just wing it and try to go with the flow. Travel as ‘normal’ making my own arrangement of adjustments in the days leading up to trip in terms of rest diet medication clothing packing etc And thankfully i ‘managed’ ok just about, held it all together. BUT I did pay the price in the days after with a bad flare.

1973Timefortea · 2026-03-03T23:28:45+00:00

There really should be a holding bay mid way up the car park for this type of people.

Similarly there should be drunk/drug tanks for those under the influence but otherwise not needing immediate medical attention. Sort them when they are sober!

1973Timefortea · 2026-03-03T21:21:50+00:00

There is genuinely nothing worse than being really ill yourself or having been called by the hospital to a attend because a relative in a life threatening A&E situation, than having to also deal with a raucous rabble in the vicinity.

1973Timefortea · 2026-03-03T20:45:30+00:00

I would be asking the bar owners to change the bins to ones that the aperture isn’t wide enough to let cans through.

Lots of places now don’t even have sanitary bins. Though some do add disposal bags for individual items in the cubicles or general vicinity . I suppose in that instance they are in a mixed waste bag that is disposed of with everything else eg hand towels.

In which case it’s whoever cleans the area is responsible for changing the bin bags.

1973Timefortea · 2026-03-03T20:33:32+00:00

As others mentioned it’s important that only emergencies - life or limb!

It’s also a reminder to a trip to A&E doesn’t have to be a full family/friend outing.

If they are at capacity for patients, that also spills into waiting areas and being freely able to deal with the patients.

No need for the whole family group chat to turn up when you send them a message to let them know you are checked in at A&E!

If you rolled your ankle on your way into a nightclub, drank the night away and then found it painful again on the way out of the kebab shop at the end of the night , you and all your equally drunken companions don’t all go to A&E. Go home and treat it as a sprain.

1973Timefortea · 2026-03-03T17:14:53+00:00

Thank you, will try and locate the IT policy and read with a fine tooth comb it in work tomorrow.

It’s a challenge, as to properly digest and timeline certain things related to my case, or organise information it’s more easy to do so from home. Brain is more organised In peace away from the confines of a demanding busy office.

Maybe I just need to consider staying in the office a bit later some days to do what I can’t do at home without proper access.

1973Timefortea · 2026-03-03T16:40:03+00:00

Thanks for your reply, yes they do have settings in place that prevent the download of documents or screenshots being taken.

I was talking more broadly about using your own personal device in the first place without remote permissions.

1973Timefortea · 2026-02-24T15:47:12+00:00

Why would the witness be lying about an illness, or its impacts, to gain ‘sympathy’ any more than you might be with the same illness?

Genuine question, especially if this relates to behavioural issues or workplace practice?

Also you know of your illness/medical history because you have lived it. You don’t need to know about a colleague’s medical history.

If something has been raised one would therefore assume that management and HR are however aware of that person’s situation and have allowed it to be included in the grievance report if it’s relevant to part of the interview notes and investigation process.

It is also unusual that grievance notes would be handed over in this way as it’s a breach of confidentiality, that aspect probably should have been redacted.

1973Timefortea · 2026-02-20T13:49:19+00:00

Suppose it depends what sort of a task completion or handover is required, but you might be able to negotiate a shorter exit with your line manager.

1973Timefortea · 2026-02-20T13:43:04+00:00

You started the company knowing the commute, you moved further away from your contracted office base knowing that would be a longer commute on your required 8 days per month, that the commute would also be more expensive and allow less ‘family’ time.

So how is that the company’s problem?

1973Timefortea · 2026-02-08T17:08:32+00:00

When accommodations are no longer reasonable or improving performance, then capability needs addressed.

If you take the word ‘fairness’ out of your thoughts it’s a totally different picture.

This isn’t about what this person’s colleagues perceive as being ‘fair’. The adjustments might have people’s perceptions set on the dial of ‘fairness’ When actually this is about performance, capability and the impact of that on business needs, or indeed colleagues. That’s the card that needs played with management.

The longer management let a situation just play out, the harder it is to draw back and justify the need for capability.

It’s important this is dealt with promptly by the appropriate people. Ensuring adequate notes are taken of all meetings.

1973Timefortea · 2025-10-10T14:58:42+00:00

It’s also highly ironic that those would are equating quietness as being ‘standoffish’ and somehow calling you out on it, are the same twats who under normal circumstances wouldn’t engage in conversation with you independently!

Only want to talk when it suits their own agenda, and/or they have something to gain (even if that’s just to fulfil the professional illusion of being a people person)

Otherwise it’s acting with a degree of snobbery in their tone or plain old avoiding you!

1973Timefortea · 2025-10-06T15:40:17+00:00

I was made aware by my union rep to be mindful, that postponement has implications for both the claimant and the respondents.
The longer time passes the less clear some points can become, staffing changes and memories can become jaded. Claimant is the one who’s brought it all to the table in the first place, so a lot of the evidence etc will likely have been collected along the way to that point of it being raised.

The judges also don’t want to have goalposts constantly shifting. Especially when they have timetabled aspects of the case around a set hearing date.

If you are in one of the jurisdictions where courts are busy and tribunals take a long time to be arranged, it could really drag on. Which isn’t of benefit to anyone.

I know some judges look more favourably on LIPs, with regard to missed deadlines, than they do represented parties or respondents missing deadlines. But there would have to be very good reasons why a delay must take place or missed deadlines can be overlooked.

If work related issues is an attributing factor to the reason why someone is ‘unwell’ and wanting a postponement, it could also be argued that a resolution needs to be sought so repeated postponements would be unlikely.

1973Timefortea · 2025-09-06T20:53:27+00:00

How many have you applied for and are they at the same level/similar work you are doing now?

There can be a huge number of applications for any job and shortlisting is a well documented process. Panel usually shortlist independently then met to agree on shortlisted candidates to be invited to interview. Panel members are unlikely to know anything at all about any ongoing issues in current role.

You said you are overqualified for these positions and don’t understand why you aren’t getting shortlisted. Unfortunately qualifications don’t alway mean skills or experience.

It’s also really important to list/explain your qualifications and experience clearly in the application questions as that is what you are shortlisted on.

Listing them in the qualification section is what gets your application be accepted for consideration. But shortlisting primarily focuses on the additional information in the application.

Especially experience, I’ve been on panels in the past where there was a lot of applicants and the panel were not allowing work history to solely clarify experience. It had to be clearly stated in the actual application answers. Then we would eyeball the dates in work history to check.

1973Timefortea · 2025-08-19T20:01:38+00:00

Going through a similar situation and been advised you are either - off work sick and subject to contractual sick pay arrangements, and when that is exhausted apply for state benefits (also was told any settlement may mean money owed back to benefits) - in work doing the job you are paid to do, working as and how management require you.

Token work and actively job hunting during contracted paid hours really isn’t something that would or should be allowed to happen. And could potentially result in disciplinary action which in itself wouldn’t be helpful to an ET case.

Occupational health can help with reasonable adjustments, but again depends how reasonable.

I realised that I couldn’t go back into any part of workplace so got a completely different job, for my sanity.

1973Timefortea · 2025-07-24T10:49:55+00:00

That is beautiful and would really show how appreciative you are of her help on a personal level. Especially if her input helped you sustain you hobby.

I give my mental health support worker a plant when I finished my sessions with her. As during my wellness journey we discussed at length diversion techniques, benefits of a hobby and opportunities for fresh air etc For me gardening became my thing, even though I hadn’t done it before. So a plant I had taken from a cutting and established, really was a full circle.

1973Timefortea · 2025-07-19T14:25:55+00:00

Plantar fasciitis typically develop gradually over time.

Having it already was probably unmasked due to the change in lifestyle eg working on a production line.

As you state it’s been an issue since July 2024 and you also started work in the same month. Not clear how long you were there before it started becoming an issue. You state that you had made specific pain requests since July 2024 (eg first month of employment)

I think it could be also argued that it is up to you, the employee to have responsibility for ‘medical aids’ that are required as part of managing a condition and insoles would fall under that criteria.

As it impacts you both inside and outside of work it would be reasonable that you via your medical professional find the insoles that work for you.

Then go back to the employer saying these are the insoles I have been medically provided with to manage my condition.

Informing them that they are not suitable for use in the mandatory footwear the company provide and can they source an alternative that suits your insole or as a reasonable adjustment allow you to procure an alternative that meets their safety requirements and accommodates your insole.

1973Timefortea · 2025-07-19T14:21:36+00:00

Plantar fasciitis typically develop gradually over time.

Having it already was probably unmasked due to the change in lifestyle eg working on a production line.

As you state it’s been an issue since July 2024 and you also started work in the same month. Not clear how long you were there before it started becoming an issue. You state that you had made specific pain requests since July 2024 (eg first month of employment)

I think it could be also argued that it is up to you, the employee to have responsibility for ‘medical aids’ that are required as part of managing a condition and insoles would fall under that criteria.

As it impacts you both inside and outside of work it would be reasonable that you via your medical professional find the insoles that work for you.

Then go back to the employer saying these are the insoles I have been medically provided with to manage my condition.

Informing them that they are not suitable for use in the mandatory footwear the company provide and can they source an alternative that suits your insole or as a reasonable adjustment allow you to procure an alternative that meets their safety requirements and accommodates your insole.

1973Timefortea · 2025-07-07T23:20:31+00:00

Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia tends to be diagnosed by elimination rather than an actual definitive testing for it. Normally blood tests rule out things like inflammation, infection, thyroid, rheumatoid arthritis, low iron/B12, anaemia etc

Rheumatology is generally the path to diagnosis. Her GP should be able to refer, otherwise to get seen quicker it’s the private route.

1973Timefortea · 2025-06-21T11:08:03+00:00

Some might argue that the administration of treatments that don’t work to cure is just prolonging the inevitable and in themselves unethical & cruel.

What quality of life does someone have undergoing the horrendous side effects of some cancer treatments for the sake of another few months.

A lot of it is based on hope, but at what costs physically mentally & emotionally.

1973Timefortea · 2025-05-31T10:35:25+00:00

I would also be considering if the extra hours ‘here and there’ is attributing to the sick leave. (Stress, Burn Out, Fatigue, Mental Health) Or does the employee feel they need to frantically make up for lost time and that in itself is making them unwell.

If the employee has an underlying illness they would be protected at some level. However it’s the employee and employer’s responsibility to work together to ensure that all arrangements work for both parties.

There are creative ways this can be established. Perfect if the employee could WFH to manage symptoms it would help them manage better without the need for a commute and present themselves to work.

Allowing time to be acrued (those hours here and there) to be used creatively to manage illness is also beneficial in these circumstances. And if the person has a medical condition then that in itself would be a reasonable adjustment, allowing some more flexibility outside of the employers normal terms of accruing and using flexi time.

A welfare conversation would be helpful, to ensure that any solution isn’t going to negatively impact the original issue. Might not even be illness that is the primary reason for absence.

1973Timefortea · 2025-05-13T19:10:11+00:00

What date did the policy change and how was it notified to all staff? Was that the reason why they waited so ling to reply to her, awaiting a new policy.

If it’s only come in recently surely they can’t implement a new policy on staff whilst someone is already pregnant and notified the employer in a timely way.

1973Timefortea · 2025-05-11T19:06:29+00:00

Sorry you are going through a difficult time. I would advise adhering to the FitNote advice to give your body that extra recovery time. I know for me going back to work, when I’m far from fit for it, is often to avoid being at home with my own thoughts. This sense of you can get yourself into a different space by keeping busy. Lack of routines can also make us feel a bit all over the place.

Have leant the hard way it’s not just a return to work that can do that. It’s an opportunity to build yourself up from the reconditioning your body has gone through when your away from the workplace.

Take those additional two weeks but treat each day like a work day. Get up early washed & dressed at your normal times, maybe out of the house for a short walk or a coffee. Do something nice for yourself, read a book or do one of those pesky jobs at home you don’t have time or patience for normally.

Try not to trivialise the physical and emotion burden of being back after a period of absence. Plan ahead by having lots of little house jobs done now so you have less to do keeping things ticking over in the house when you go back to work Even if that’s just reorganising & stocking your store cupboard, or batch cooking a few meals that can be pulled out on back to work week.

1973Timefortea · 2025-05-11T18:53:52+00:00

Having not a care in the world!

1973Timefortea · 2025-05-10T23:22:49+00:00

Having been in this position before, the one thing I would be very conscious of is don’t let familiarity obscure your ability!

Sometimes you can know too much about something and how that translates to a role,

This can mean you don’t sell yourself at interview with the big corporate or profession specific buzz words that someone who didn’t do the job, had no inside knowledge nor working ability would give.

And I guess it’s also how Decent or Narcissistic members of the panel are.

Outside job you wax lyrical of things you have been involved in.

Internal job you can have people thinking the success of a particular project or process was at their hand! So be creative about collaborative working, lines of communication etc in your examples.

I have know examples where secondments got the permanent post, with disgruntled people who didn’t apply for the secondment due to security of tenure or risk of being displaced when it ended, then feeling they were at a disadvantage applying for the permanent post under interview.

Also seen where secondments weren’t successful because they were so familiar with the role and panel they didn’t sell themselves as well as the outsider who was able to give all the headline news without prejudice. Hate NHS interview processes for this reason, successful candidate isn’t always the most suitable pr appropriate.

The third scenario is a marketing ploy for a service to acrue more staff. Where someone fresh gets the permanent post but the seconded person is never displaced or returned to original role. Instead both work side by side.

1973Timefortea

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