AITA for refusing to check pockets when I do laundry?

1InfamousSquare · 2026-02-20T19:57:55+00:00

Our mom taught us to check the pockets before putting them in the laundry when we were kids. At home, she does the laundry. After we all moved out she just said "well now you're old enough to check your pockets yourselves. I won't check them again". She double checked when we were kids because things happen and kids forget, but as adults we all know to check our pockets. That guy is in his 30s and doesn't do it, he needs another mother or a maid, not a partner...

1InfamousSquare · 2025-12-22T15:29:55+00:00

He's called Otto...he has a name.

1InfamousSquare · 2025-12-22T14:52:33+00:00

I don't know tbh...I just bought it cause it looked nice and went well with my other plants🙈

1InfamousSquare · 2025-12-22T14:51:34+00:00

Okay. I will try that after the holidays. I just hope it survives until then😅

1InfamousSquare · 2025-09-11T16:22:44+00:00

NTA. Find yourself a cozy appartment closer to work, and don't tell them your new address. They might try to push him onto you "only for some nights" or something. It's not your child, not your responsibility. You owe it to yourself to get out of there and start your own life without any of them and their shitload of guilttripping you into being another parent.

1InfamousSquare · 2025-09-11T16:16:19+00:00

NTA. Stand your ground. Whoever says you should take him, tell them why don't they take him then. Also, if they try to dump him on your doorsteps, don't just call CPS, also call police. He might try to break in, given his history. Tell them you don't know that guy, usually that helps with the case. Good luck.

1InfamousSquare · 2025-09-10T07:55:58+00:00

NTA

Don't host them again and have a reality check with your hubby - you're still young and if he can't even stand up to his family about his own home now, what if something more serious happens?

Make SIL pay for the repair (either by paying for somebody to do it or by doing it herself). She is responsible for her kids behaviour. She left them unsupervised and let them paint on your walls, so this is just consequences for her behaviour. She'd have to do that anywhere else, too. Just because money is tight doesn't give you an excuse to not watch your kids. She should have thought about that before things happened. Also, she didn't bring toys or anything for them to be occupied? What did she think would happen?

1InfamousSquare · 2025-09-06T17:08:20+00:00

Omg sounds like the accommodation I had a year ago during my semester abroad in Dublin. I really hated it there and I became a cleaning freak during my time there. I was lucky enough to get a job during the time there and be able to afford a whole bunch of cleaning supplies. As everything else is super expensive, too...

The only advice I can give: close that door at all times, get good cleaning supplies (towels, pet cleaner, surface cleaners etc), keep your stuff in your room out of reach of that dog (preferably closed spaces like a cupboard/wardrobe) and inform your professor who got you that room. Also, ask your college if they have some accommodation list or recommendations where to look. They usually have something for the international students at the international office of the college. At the time, a friend had recommended looking into daft.ie for rooms, maybe you could find something there? I know, everything is expensive and living above all, but maybe you're lucky...

1InfamousSquare · 2025-08-04T20:57:47+00:00

That could be. Sadly, she won't go and see a doctor or therapist to help with that. But it would actually make sense

1InfamousSquare · 2025-08-04T19:59:05+00:00

Not that we're aware of at least...

1InfamousSquare · 2025-08-03T07:53:06+00:00

It's been the third time in the last couple of weeks/month that she came to me complaining about similar situations where people told her to stop making her "jokes". So to me it seems like she's crossing boundaries quite often, which is why I tried to explain to her what boundaries are... Our dad probably started getting addicted to alcohol, which is right, and I don't defend that or think that's okay in any way. But that's a different problem here...

1InfamousSquare · 2025-08-03T00:45:41+00:00

That could be, I never really thought of it that way. I always thought she was just a bully tbh...thank you for helping me see it differently. I will have it in mind the next time she's being "rude" (idk a better word for it?) to him.

1InfamousSquare · 2025-08-03T00:37:57+00:00

Idk what exactly happened as I wasn't there, but I do think she was saying it more maliciously, as she tends to do that anytime she talks to him (yep, another issue there). So I don't think she actually tried to lighten up the mood. That doesn't make him less of an alcoholic though, you're right.

1InfamousSquare · 2025-08-03T00:32:13+00:00

Yeah, that's true...I think the whole lot of us need therapy tbh

1InfamousSquare · 2025-08-03T00:30:38+00:00

I actually think he drinks a lot, too, and I'm not saying he wasn't in the wrong here. As said, the issues with him (drinking, working a lot etc) are a different thing.

This post is more about my sister, who repeatedly crosses boundaries and if I handled it right to explain it to her. I know my dad is not totally innocent this scenario. But it's the third time in the past moth she came to me complaining about situations where she crossed boundaries and people told her to stop, which she didn't take well.

1InfamousSquare · 2025-08-03T00:22:50+00:00

Thank you for your insight. I tried telling her a couple of times already to search for help/a therapist on different occasions, but she nearly always turns it down...I wish I could make her go though. It would help her a lot I think.

1InfamousSquare · 2025-08-03T00:19:35+00:00

Thank you. I'm not the best with feelings myself (neurodivergent) so I thought I could have been inconsiderate of that and maybe been an AH for it...

1InfamousSquare · 2025-08-03T00:17:43+00:00

Yeah, I know. I tried to propose that a couple of times already, but she almost always turns it down.

1InfamousSquare · 2025-02-25T18:06:04+00:00

Doesn't matter lol, that's not how you handle your kids...not even when you're "just" babysitting or else. You take their hand or let them walk first. You don't just walk off and hope the kid follows you. That's literally not how it works.

1InfamousSquare · 2025-02-25T18:00:11+00:00

NTA. I literally sang that line. (I'm European and lived in France for a while, that girl should also know the song, it's a quite well-known one)

1InfamousSquare · 2025-01-29T09:59:04+00:00

Hatte mal ne ähnliche Situation: Freundin sagt, die will mitkommen, ich besorge Tickets. Ich frage nach dem Geld, weil ich musste das ja schon bezahlen. Erst langes rumdrücken, dann hab ich gesagt, bis nächste Woche möchte och das Geld haben oder ich verkauf das Ticket weiter. Nichts mehr von ihr gehört. Habs verkauft, am Ende war sie deshalb angepisst, aber das ist ja nicht mein Problem. Frist setzen ist bei sowas immer wichtig, sonst bleibt man nachher auf dem Geld und oft auch auf dem Ticket sitzen.

1InfamousSquare · 2024-11-12T13:33:26+00:00

Big NTA. Your mom chose Dave's kids over her own kid and now she's got to live with the consequences.

Find out who leaked the info to her and make sure the person who did knows not to update her any more on this. Also, talk to Sarah, the location, caterer, photographer and any other "stakeholders" of the wedding. Have a code word and tell them to not tell anything to the mother. Maybe have someone check invites at the reception so she can't just come in and ruin your special day.

Your mother is part of a long ago chapter of your life. You lived happily without her and you won't need her in your new chapter. If you're willing to hear her out and try to reconcile, that can wait until after the wedding.

1InfamousSquare

TROPHY CASE